Thoughts of A Depressive Teenager

As we lay there..

Shielded from everything bad.

A sun shining in the back.

Then He walks in.

You immediately start staring 

I see already 

A Fallen Hero falls again.

No more suffering or pain.

Days blending together.

One day takes another and I die slowly.

I hate you.

B***h.

Why don’t you just try killing me

You are my regret

Regretting the blood..

Regrets fill me now..

I didn’t have regrets before..

Then you came along.

And you made my world crumble…

How could you just take me and throw me like this…

B***h…

I’m not even mad…

I’m just wondering..

No not wondering..

I’m scared..

I don’t want this to start again..

All the confusion..

Pill’s doesn’t help no more..

F*****g depression..

F**k off…

This is just a cry for help..

I don’t want this psychiatric treatment..

Not now…

Right now all I want is happiness..

Breaks a face and sheds a tear..

I love you…

I know now that everyone I love must hurt me…

Why..

Is it because you’ll come back when he’s gone

Or because you hate me?

A Fallen Hero - Thoughts of A Depressive Teenager…

Written : 06/02/2011

Dedication : To damn personal…

Author's Note

Honest Opinion...

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A lot of anger and disappointment in the poem. Sometime better to be free of someone who will take you apart again. A powerful poem with a story of sadness.
Coyote

[Drako]

this poem flips back and forth on emotions. it's clear to tell there's some confusion in your mind as you go back and forth. seems almost like you're arguing with yourself. there are a few grammatical errors but other than that nice work

[Cocoacandy]

"Pill’s doesn’t help no more" this line does not grammatically make sense' but otherwise,m the poem is great.. keep up the good work... and the amount of swearing has gone down, which adds to the value of the poem... i enjoyed reading this, and even found myself feeling for you... thanks for sharing it!
*cocoabean*

[{REDACTED}]

Well I have a few things to say about this. Some positive, negative and neutral.
You want an honest opinion then i'll give it.

First ill start with the negative to get it out of the way.
-You need to find a way to get your poem to flow a little better, somewhat of a difficult read at a few points.
-A little bit of editing, grammer and punctuation is needed.

Next are the rest of my thoughts on this.
-This is a very strong read, emotionaly. I can tell you porobably wrote this in a time of pain, but thats what makes writing worth reading, when there is an emotional attachment to it; especially poetry. Your piece here definatly has some emotional attatchment to it.
-You have a strong purpose and messege here, which means you can easily touch any reader, well done.
-You really make me feel the depression and anger here, well done.

Most of my writing is emotionally driven so I know what its like to write without bothering with grammer and punctuation, however, I have often gotten s**t from other writers due to that, so do some reading up on that. It'll make your work that much better and with all the swollen heads on this site you'll get many more people trying to review. All in all I liked it and will read more when I get the chance, keep it up.