I Decay Again

Complications are everywhere.

They spawn in my path all the f*****g time.

Getting depressed comes more often than usually

That’s a pain in the a*s.

My damn sorrow has been opened again.

I’m depressive again…

I know…

As I just lie here. 

I decay again..

What if I lay with you?

Would you tell me what to do?

“What the f**k is wrong?”

“I Don’t Know… Seriously I’ve just been feeling it again, Nothing feels like it did before… I can’t think of one time not a single second where didn’t have those regrets”

“Well… That’s possibly what’s getting to you”

I throw the voice out of my head..

It comes again and again..

I f*****g hate it..

“why don’t you just overcome this?” 

“Because it’s still so close to my heart, if you knew how I wished to take a knife and stuff it to my heart to remove the pain then you know how I feel”

“Well… That’s possibly also what gets to you”

I throw it all away…

Even my self pity is unwanted…

I can’t seem to keep it up anymore…

I am that hero that everyone spits on as I save their f*****g asses…

I can’t take their fake empathy…

And that f*****g sympathy…

Why do they have to make me go all out on these lines when I stand up for everyone…

Even those I hate..

And if she reads this she’ll know that even though she chose him then I’ll be there when he f***s her over and cheats on her…

Or when he breaks up with her..

When he breaks her already crumbling sanity…

She’s like me…

I know she is..

And while I live this cruel world.

With the monsters creeping in the corners of my vision…

She has to stay put with him and she’ll take my hand and make me live again.

When he breaks her already crumbling sanity…

Will this ever end.

This constant disgrace and pain..

The humiliation of feeling fucked up…

I should know..

I live with it every single f*****g day.

Make me live a bit…

Just for me to survive..

My heartbeat slows down now.

Just so she won’t see my aching bones.

All the beat downs that I’ve gotten the last six or seven months.

They make me live..

They make me breathe..

Farewell…

A Fallen Hero - I Decay Again.

Written : 31/01/2011

Dedication : Myself and Her…

Author's Note

Honest opinion...
This is one of my most priced pieces by my english teacher...
I actually like it too...

Fallen

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

This is one of my favorite poem you have written. Real emotion and feeling made the words strong and alive. I believe when we shut down and feel nothing. That is the bad way to go out. Better to go out with a raised fist and not allow the world to slow you down from goals and dreams.
"I can’t take their fake empathy…
And that f*****g sympathy…"
A excellent poem. Your strong words made me think today.
Coyote

[Brook Hughes]

This is one of the best poems yet. It flows almost like a song! A lot of people can relate to this and I'm one of them. Keep Writing!

[Cocoacandy]

its really good... so full of emotion... good job... keep up the good work...
*cocoabean*

[A Risen Heroine.]

I like this piece a s**t ton!
Nobody should break you down if you saved their lifes...
they should be thankfull.
I'm here if you want to talk!
~A Fallen Heroine~

[felica mariiee]

This is heart shattering. I can relate so much to this right now. I know this feeling. Excellent writing.