Exist

I think of myself as whole

Even though I'm shattered..

All the bits and pieces..

Lying in seven different beds..

It's almost like I forgot them..

The endless horrors..

The restless nights..

Lost in love with countless explorers..

Boiled down to nothing but pointless fights..

 

And in the end..

I couldn't be anything more..

I couldn't be anything less..

 

I couldn't be..

 

I couldn't..

That's what everything boils down to..

 

I couldn't then..

And I wouldn't now..

 

I lost my self in the beautiful scenery..

The women..

The booze..

And even the drugs..

I lost myself to nothingness..

And I never fully recovered..

 

I still see the empty beds and the bloody sinks..

 

I still feel all that I've done..

I've done it wrong..

I wrought pain and misery..

Everywhere I went..

 

 

 

 

I don't have the right to live alongside all of you..

 

 

I don't have the right to care about all of you..

 

 

I don't have the right..

 

 

Right?

 

 

Living with myself gets harder..

Just as I once did..

 

Now I can't seem to handle anything..

 

The weighted pain around my throat..

The heavy burden that was never there..

 

 

I question my right to exist..

I can't see why the darker days never pass..

 

Am I even truthful?

 

Am I even faithful?

 

Am I even?..

Author's Note

Honest Opinion

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Strong and powerful thoughts.
"I question my right to exist..
I can't see why the darker days never pass..
Am I even truthful?
Am I even faithful?
Am I even?.."
All of us had create havoc and known sin. Part of living and surviving. I enjoyed the poem. Left the reader with thoughts and questions. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry. Was glad to see your work.
Coyote

[FallenHeroXx]

Thanks man.
I actually work for much longer on every one of my pieces now..
It takes me weeks to make these now..

[Coyote Poetry]

It was very good. You are young. Enjoy life, test life and have some fun. When you are old and gray like me. You can write the great story.

[Dayran]

This could be the preamble to a new theory of existentialism. Certainly Jean Paul Sarte ... must have had days like this. There is one difference though ... Sarte thought everybody felt that way.