What is real about life tonight

What is real about life tonight 
 

The world is gone  I wrote this song They decided to drop the bomb It is over a major city No one cared which one for it demolished the world As it once stood in a proud manner They could not rectify the situations For the fix was in the balance became unbalanced and it was toppled from top to the bottomless pit of hell The third world became the first and the first became the last The world turn on Its top at last no one expected that. They could only read it on the news broadcast and the teleprompter was burning red I couldn't read it fast enough for the poor public To be feed the giant corporations have fallen into the sea You can only blame greed with no sympathy from me I was Just a simple man trying to live out a simple life and your tired to take away my simple life I had taken big steps in my life and had to take them back.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Deep thoughts shared my friend. Me and you are the same age. We lived during the time of the cold war. Today is a lot more dangerous. Your words hard and true. I saw bio warfare and chemical warfare. I believe worst than the nuclear. As a soldier, my unit had to clean-up dead cities in Africa. Poison water killed cities. Powerful and worthwhile words my friend. I pray our leaders lead with concern, kindness and love. Next war. No-one shall be spared. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Jes' Pi]

Howdy!

I'm really gleeful to read your poems again, I can observe a dynamic evolution. Additionally, I'm very sorry for the delayed review, I've been very busy.

Getting back to the poem, I think you pictured an energetic moment of the contemporary war. This war is also an ardent one, for we feel betrayed by the ones who we believed that will be our saviors. We pay with our own souls, pieces of love and songs to the ones that are supposed to bring freedom without death. And the balance...what balance? The balance is chaotic, for the balance to be balanced, a part of us deteriorate as the other part feeds with others soreness. The only thing we can do is to don't let them smash with their muddy shoes on our clean parquet.

About grammar mistakes:
"and your tired to take away my simple life"--->" and you are tired to take away my simple life"
(I don't know if this is a grammar mistake, but it sounds a little finer to me) "It is over a major city"--->
"over a major city"

The mistakes I mentioned are the ones that restrained the flow of the poem, you can try to use a grammar-check site to verify the other mistakes if you wish :).

Other "mistakes"(I cannot call them mistakes, I will just mention them as factors that stop the flow of the poem, for me):
"For the fix was in the balance became unbalanced"--->Here you should find another word for "unbalanced" because it is just a word away from "balance" and it sounds a little "too forced"
"I had taken big steps in my life and had to take them back."--->This verse is very powerful but I recommend you to replace "big" with something else. Maybe "far-reaching" or "vast".

Concluding, I think you wrote a very good poem and I strongly encourage your evolution.

Until next time...
Farewell!

[sette]

A UTOPIAN THINKING I LIKE IT. THE POEM AGAIN DISPLAYS PAIN AND HEARTACHE BUT WHAT IS LIFE WITHOUT PAIN AND HEARTACHE? WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS TO CONTINUE LIVING THE LIFE AND BEING STRONGER IN FACING THE PAIN. ANYWAY IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE ISSUE ABOUT SURVIVAL. KEEP ON WRITING.

[wordman]

well my friend i`m sure you`re right,and yes it is greed

[Davidgeo]

Billy Joel is doing one last tour. He's not greedy, I think he's just bored.