Diagnostic Lonely.

I suppose, a feeling i put together in words this summer ^^

That sickly feeling in your mouth, almost sticky.

Your stomach churning, but contains no contents.

Your head spinning, yet you're standing straight.

; Drowsy, but cursed to stay awake.

Diagnostic: lonely. 

Author's Note

Brute honesty is always the best comment ^^

Reviews

[Michael]

Nice write Jade. I like the chop-chop tempo it has. That really pulls the reader right into the emotional feeling of the all. The semi-colon did give me pause, just not sure what I'm to do with it as it follows a period and that makes it a bit redundant.

You will find in the critiques you receive both subjective and objective opinions. For me I take the objective ones to heart straight away but tend to let the subjective ones sit for awhile. If I receive several to support it, then I take it into account. Of course, if I agree with it - that is another matter.

[Orlando Murcia]

I know this feeling, I feel like this a lot
instead of my stomach churning it's my mind

Great job!

Orlando M

[Becca]

Like meagan-the-twilighter said... "Interesting" Actually I agree pretty much with every thing meagan-the-twilighter but especially the Interesting part! =) A bit gruesome if you think about it... But!!!! I still like it! It's very......... Unique!!!!!!!!!

[meagansphilosophy]

Interesting, I like the idea and subject of the poem. Loneliness does consist of feeling ill most of the time, and restless.

Its really good, my only sugestion is maybe use different words to discribe the feelings and emotions you give. Such as instead of belly; stomach? Just a thought, but it is really good!

Keep it up! (: