I AND THE FLOWER

Enclosed within a drop of rain, I fell upon a flower and fell in love with her. She was the most beautiful flower I had ever seen. Her freshness, fragrance, color, and softness took away my heart and it took away my soul. I remained a part of that flower till Sun emerged, after defeating the Cloud, and forced me to evaporate and separated me from that flower.

 

It stopped raining outside and though my body was no longer there, I kept crying in air in hope to find tears to gather some water, to take some form, and meet my flower. Tears kept increasing and I came into being, this time in the form of morning mist.

 

Upon touching that flower while being in a different form, peace surrounded me just like it surrounded me before. I became the happiest drop of mist to ever take any shape. She was still the most beautiful flower I had ever seen. Her freshness, fragrance, color, and softness took away my heart and it took away my soul. I remained a part of that flower till Sun emerged, after defeating the Moon, and forced me to evaporate.

 

I cried in hope to gather some water just well enough to take some shape and return back to my flower, somehow. But weather conspired against me and that moment never came that way. I wanted to give up, I wanted to leave, and I wanted to travel to distant places of this world just like those spiritual entities which in search of their love remain in wilderness. But I could not help it. Because she took away my heart and she took away my soul. So, I fought with nature and returned back to my flower, this time in the form of wind.

 

This time I was there but I wasn't there. I remained with the flower but the flower did not know. I had no shape, no form of my own, nothing. I had a concealed existence. But I could still witness that flower. She was still the most beautiful flower I had ever seen. Her freshness, fragrance, color, and softness took away my heart and it took away my soul, like always and forever.

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Reviews

[Sesame]

Hi Faizan,

In general, well written! Although there is one sentenced I think needs some work: "I kept crying in air in hope to gather some water just well enough to meet the flower again."

after defeating clouds, (you are anthropomorphing the Sun, by making it defeat the clouds. Consider anthropomorphing the Clouds as well, by adding 'the' and a capital C.)

o, I fought with the nature (delete 'the',)

Regards, Sesame.

@followsesame on Twitter
www.themagiccave.com

[faizan]

Thank you sesame for this insightful review. I have made some editing in this post. Thanks for the guidance. I am indebted.