One side crush

As your eyes so brown,

Meet with mine, quite green.

You're the best kind of beauty

I have ever seen.

Your sense of humour,

The way you speak,

The way you walk,

Your approval I seek.

It's a one side crush,

Only half a heart,

I know you don't like me,

Just can't bear to part.

So I play it cool,

Stay close to you,

Don't look a fool,

Be mine too?

Reviews

[Matthew vonHone]

This is the first that you've written that I have a suggestion for. I disagree with the last four lines being juvenile. They're not, but the last line reads awkward. I can't really put my finger on it, but I've read the poem several times and the last line just feels wrong. Sorry. I think it's great, but consider revising your last line.

[Allie :)]

I'm not a fan of how you made the last 4 lines rhyme. It's a nice thought, to kind of mix up your rhyme scheme, but it made your whole poem seem kind of juvenile, though it was nothing of the sort.
You had some really great lines in here, and this piece has a ton of potential! :)

[Enjoy]

Very well done. Can't say much else :D

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

Good poem.

[Sarah Morgan]

Great flow and how we tend to notice everything about someone we like or love.. at first we really love everything. Great write!

[Veronica Chandler]

This one is adorable like a valentine and very well written. Love the way you describe it as a, "...A one side crush."

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime need time and luck for love to grow. I like this poem. We never know what can happen when two people are on the same path. A excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Ruth]

Ouch! Yes, that hurts....poignant xx

[Helpless]

wow, great concept, i know how this feels too. :( sad that it has to happen so often.

[HappyTaylor]

This is a very sweet poem that pretty much captures what a crush feels like.
He should come around. :)