We�ll be together always. United by our loneliness.

“We’ll be together always. United by our loneliness.”

 

The time of night when the sun has long since vanished from the sky and the earth has cooled down from a long hot day, that’s the time that reminds me of you. We use to sit under the trees and just stare up at the stars. Time seemed so meaningless then. Nothing mattered but that moment. That particular place in time. We’d created our own little world. One where no one could find us. No one could hurt us. The pain of the years gone by seemed to fade into blissful blackness. Old scars disappeared. Tears shed were forgotten. It was perfect.

 

“I’ll never leave you. This is the only thing I’ll ever be able to promise you. I’ll never leave.”

 

Winter was your favorite month. Mine too. Just one of the many things we shared. Maybe we both liked it so much because it’s a barren month. Everything’s died. The cold kills it all. We both had that coldness living in our souls. Only you managed to melt the ice that had surrounded my heart. You said I melted yours. I hope it was true.

 

I remember how the wind would sting your cheeks, turn them red. During winter it seemed like you had a permanent blush. It always made me laugh and smile. When I smiled you smiled. It was always a nice change from your usual sullen look. Laughter made your eyes sparkle. Your eyes were my favorite gem of them all. Diamonds were dull in comparison. Emeralds couldn’t shine as bright. We would sit inside the little café on the corner, the one near the bookstore and just talk. Anything and everything was fodder for our conversation. It flowed from us easily and without hesitation. I found myself telling you things I had never told anyone before. Things I wouldn’t dare to write down in a journal. If I had kept one. You know I was horrible at committing to those sorts of things. I never spent more than a week actually writing in a journal. Yet, I loved to collect them. Something about the blank pages attracted me. They begged for words but I could never find any to put down on them. You filled up the pages for me. You covered them with your beautiful words. Words that could make angels fall from grace. Such pretty words poured from your pen. So beautiful.

 

“I love you. I love you. I can never say it enough. I love you.”

 

Sometimes the words stopped. Silence took their place in all her glory. The silence was never uncomfortable. In fact, the silence was warm. A blanket for us. It wrapped us in its comfort. I knew everything about you. Your favorite flowers were roses. You laughed when you told me that. You seemed embarrassed about the choice. You called it cliché. I called it the perfect symbol of your romantic soul.

 

You never had a favorite color. According to you, there was no reason to pick a favorite color when there were so many. Every color was your favorite. At least that’s what I said. You told me that defeated the purpose of not having a favorite color. We laughed for hours over that. It was always the most no consequential things that made us laugh. Everyone was always looking at us as if we were mad. They couldn’t see the humor in life. We could. That’s why we worked perfectly together.  Our souls and minds were perfectly in tune.

 

“If I were to die, would you mourn me?”

 

I remember when we first met. We were both so shy. It was amazing we even spoke to each other. I could tell it was hard for you to come up and talk to me. You asked me for directions. Later you told me it was just a pretext. You had wanted to speak to me but couldn’t bring yourself to do it without and excuse. I’m glad you did. I don’t think I would have had the courage pretext or not to go up to you. It was an instant connection. After that moment we could barely be parted. We gave each other courage. Whenever we were together nothing could stop us. Those hateful words people threw with rage at us were nothing but dust. They left no mark. We were invincible. They could say what they wanted, it didn’t matter to us. But when we were apart, the words hit their mark. Without you I’m weak. With you I was always able to deflect them but without I couldn’t. I didn’t have the strength.

 

“Don’t cry. Please, don’t cry. No matter what happens I’ll always love you. It’s not a good-bye. It’ll never be good-bye. Even when I’m gone, I’ll still be with you. Together for ever. Remember? Death can’t part us.”

 

It’s not the same without you here. All those people who hated us were at your funeral. They mourned for you. They lied. I’m all alone now. You lied too. Death did part us. You’re not here with me. Memories are all I have and memories can’t hold you or comfort you. I can’t count how many times I’ve sat under that same tree tears falling onto the ground. No one’s there to whip them away. No one’s there to tell me that it will all be okay. I’m alone again. Why?! Why did you leave me?! It wasn’t suppose to be this way. You promised me that I wouldn’t have to suffer the insults by myself anymore. That I’d never have to be this alone again. You promised! Why did you break that promise?

 

I guess I just wasn’t meant to be happy, huh? I guess that I was meant to be alone. You were just fates way making fun of me. Torturing me. I had been so use to the blackness, the loneliness and then you came. You showed me the joys that could be found in another human being. You showed me love and then it was all taken away from me after a short time. Now I’m going to be alone again. You were just a reprieve from the crushing darkness. The ice has reformed around my heart. The walls have come up. I won’t let anyone in again. No one will ever get as close to me as you did. I’ll just end up hurt again. I won’t let that happen. Do you hear that? Where ever you are, I hope you know how much I’m hurting. You’re probably burning in Hell, just like they said. I hope you’re in excruciating pain. I hope you’re miserable. I hope you feel guilty. I hope…I miss you so much.

 

Reviews

[R J Askew]

This feel very balanced. It is just the right length, it does its business and then ends. I was in a rush when i read it, so not fully attending perhaps, but the first graph caught me very strongly and i stuck with it. The monologue was very effective and the descriptions of happy moments and moods build very well...the tree, the bookshop, the matched wit over the colour issue...two intelligent people here. And the bannishment of nameless fears and defrosting of the heart. And the inspirtaion over words. The story does a lot of building work in a short span. And then the crash in the last third or quarter. Also very effective, moreso perhaps in that you take us down very quickly. Disappointment, despair and then even hate...but the last few words make it clear that that hate is felt as a consequence of the deepness of the loss. Very good indeed. It is skillful and I enjoyed it. One point...winter not a month right. maybe put season??? (Sorry to take so long responding, been on holiday.)

[Roberta Weth]

Wow I loved this, you are an amazing writer. Your imagery and reminiscent feel just drew me into the world of this story, in fact I had to go check and make sure it was fiction I was so upset at the end.
I am still kind of teary eyed. You had such a beautiful and happy romance pulling me into the hearts of the characters and then you pulled the plug and cut right through me.
My absolute favorite part of this story is your description of the wonder that silence can be between lovers. It seemed so beautiful and so intimate it just seems so happy.
The only thin I did not like was that your transition from the beauty of the beginning to the pain of the end is so abrupt there is no time to understand what is happening.
This is a lovely piece and thank you for putting it up.
~Bobbi Weth