Imagine

You... have never touched me before, but for some reason I stand in the shower for the third time today, scrubbing your touch off my body. I know it doesn’t make sense, because you can’t know how something feels if you’ve never felt it before. But so many times I’ve imagined the way you could one day grab my waist whenever you tell me that my body was an ocean, every curve a raging wave, and every freckle the result of the envy of an angel, because their beauty could never compare to mine, face to face. I’d imagine your calloused hands caressing my cheek whenever you told me my eyes held more depth than the sea or even darkness itself. My eyes, you said, were the smoothest of all whiskey, and that in the sunlight, gold seemed to reflect in them which is what brought you to talk to me in the first place, because in certain lighting, or in the middle of smiling you knew that maybe one day you could hold all the treasure in the world that was somehow kept in such a small space and would leave without a trace. I felt the way your fingers embraced my fingers, and your hand, much larger than mine would someday make me feel small for the first time, and I was terrified. No, actually no matter how small you could have made me feel I would’ve been fine with that because in your smile I found paradise like never before. And in your laugh grew confidence and I knew I could conquer the world. However, I misjudged what we had, because what I thought was love, was only ever really lust. Even though there was never a physical touch, the mentality of all we could have ever been was still too much for me. I never meant to make this more than it was, I promise. It was all an accident… However, not an accident at all, because if ever given the chance, I would choose to meet you all over again. I would choose everything that happened, all over again, because I’m stronger now. I believe that the body I used to stare at with hatred is now something I stare at with love, because It’s okay to love yourself. It’s okay to put your body first, it doesn’t matter what people say. The words that others have said are tattooed onto my mind, heart, and skin but they’re the artwork that crafted me to be who I’m meant to be. Forgotten are the words that others have told me, because my body is now a butterfly, finally out of it’s cocoon ready to fly. My mind is a flower, still blooming, because my thoughts are beautiful, even if they’re filled with someone else. However, at the moment even with these thoughts of you, and all I’d wanted us to be, doesn’t change the fact that the me I was before you I can never get back. And now, I couldn’t tell others that the redness of my face and body came from the heat of the shower, because the only water that remains is cold. And now.. I hope that if one day we’re face to face just one more time, and you reach for my hand, that you also won’t feel the same.

Author's Note

I've never really written anything like this before so all commentary, criticism, reviews, are very appreciated!<3

Reviews

[zaisham9393]

Adorable, romantic and a bit sad!
I love the way you used words, images, and metaphors to express the feeling into words!
Thank you for sharing !