He Smiles

A poem I wrote for National Child Abuse Awareness Month

Child in a playground,
Talking with his friends.
Smile on his face,
Wish it'd never end.

Swinging on the monkey bars,
Going down the slide.
He trips over his shoe lace,
And only then realizes the time.

Its time to say goodbye.

Trudging down the street,
Knows he will be late.
So he picks up his head,
And quickens his pace.

Making his way to the door,
He looks up to the sky.
Then his mother walks out the house,
And begins to ask why.

She says, "Why were you late?
We were so worried.
I thought you'd never come home,
And that made your father Furied."

The kid walks inside,
Knowing the worry won't last,
For his father came,
With alcohol in a glass.

The father sees the son,
And soon becomes angered.
Storms over to the kid,
While the alcohol in his breath lingers.

Throwing the kid down,
He calls him worthless,
And kicks him a few times,
Which will surely leave More bruises.

He then breaks his beer glass,
And yells a few more words
Before he takes a broken piece,
And stabs the child's arm.

The kids tears stream down his face,
As his father beats him more.
Slowly losing consciousness,
He smiles...

For he knows this pain that he endures,
He won't have to go through anymore.

Reviews

[V]

What a sad and negative twist in the little poetic story you shared. A heartfelt poem though I have to criticize the pattern, it often reads clumsy with lines which don't properly rhyme. I think if you revised it, made the flow smoother or even turned it into something more of a free verse poem, it'd read better.

[Jazzlyn B Barden]

The rhyming on this was supposed to be sloppy. It started out with a consistent writing scheme then as the child gets more upset, and it gets more chaotic, the rhyming starts getting sloppy and inconsistent then becomes non- existent

[V]

Ah ok thanks for the explanation.

[Njeri Brooks]

Oooh, man. I feel like I got slapped in the face... the title was so misleading.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Very powerful, deep and emotional piece.
What a heartbreaking story.
Its sad to think that some people are so messed up in the head that they could beat there own child.
Very very sad heartbreaking piece.
This was brilliantly written, I really enjoyed reading this.

[Sangeetha]

How sad oh my gosh the struggle the boy has to go through. I wish the Father would just die

[zunie frost]

hahahhahah i love the twist in this poem !!!!!
love this
great work

[Jordan Smith]

Thank You for sharing that one with us Jazzlyn. That was a really touching poem and it really had an impact on me even though I haven't gone through anything like that in my life. I really believe that you have done National Child Abuse Month justice with this poem by showing through raw emotion how lives can be ruined or even ended with this abuse. Again, wonderful and touching poem :') I'm really glad you decided to write this one.

[Tsubaki Kuro]

What a beautiful poem here Jazzlyn B Barden. Great work. :)

[stargirl23]

This was a really captivating piece..the title led me to believe that there would be a happy ending, but it turned out to be ironic. I loved it!

[Rhia Barton]

Absolutely tragic but very well written. I love how the rhyming scheme at the beginning was very consistent but as the child gets more and more upset and the consequences start to reveal themselves, the rhyming becomes chaotic and then non-existent. Very powerful piece!

[barleygirl]

It's interesting the way you describe the "child" at the beginning, it makes the child sound special . . . but then you start calling the child "kid" with tones that are more dismissive & dehumanizing. Your poem is a powerful message stated in plain conversational tones (even tho your rhymes are somewhat poetic & the rhythm of reading is a little uneven). You show every step of the story in great detail, making your message very palpable. Good job of conveying this important scene in a straightforward, unequivocal way.