Cuts & Vomit

This one is kinda out there and has a few different subjects all mashed into one. Sort of hard to understand. Read carefully.

The words tingle at my
fingertips.
Your eyes still glitter, though,
with subtle hints.
As my fist strikes my
raw skin,
I watch you rid yourself
of sin.
You sweet little child,
how can you not see?
That will be me,
by tomorrow eve!
All that I understand is this
bitter taste in my mouth
And subtle stinging
on my broken body.
This won't be my best,
but it is enough.
I watched you watch me
suffocate in lies,
how could I not
Want to die?
You do not understand.
This is no sort of
"lap band".
It has a name,
hell, it has two.
Use them!
I know you're afraid, which
is why you cry.
I have no fear, which
is why I lie.
Bulimia? almost.
Anorexia? maybe.
Insanity? surely.
Cutter? why, yes.
I no longer seek your help.
Let me be.

Author's Note

I'm fucked up :3