Penitent

Thank you Richard for your support and suggestions on my sonnets ... :)

P E N I T E N T

The chains, long forged, from dark, persistent paths

of blackened rock that smothers golden fields …

Akin to dragon's caldron swirling wraths

red scallion plates so thickly plied to shield.

Youth's steady stream of brazen, hot desires

as sunset looms on spent horizon's line

to steady reins of stallion's pulsing fires;

thus, rising bright, a new celestial sign …

Releasing now, imprisoned for so long,

the true and lasting Heaven's ringing call

in ageless joy of spirits sung in Psalms …

if one but trusts the Star of David's laud.

A rose forgiven each it's hoary thorns;

and thus made perfect, halos now adorn.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Soren]

"A rose forgiven each it's hoary thorns;
and thus made perfect, halos now adorn."
What a magnificent poetic set of lines pregnant with metaphor and imagery.
The first stanza caught me by surprise and I had to reread it several times to catch its potential meaning. It drips with imagery and various potential meanings. I chose to see it as a literal description but also a symbolic description leading into the next stanza looking back on youth and its throbbing wildness. The next stanza could be Zionistic but I take it as a call faith and redemption from what preceeded in in the previous passages. This reads as a masterful work.

[Einstein Noodle]

oh my goodness .. i am red in the cheeks and forever humbled by such a noteworthy review. thank you so very much .. yes .. wild youth, revelations and repentance brings us to a very special place in life eh!?
Peace and joy
E.

[Pete]

terrific, poignant imagery. so well said. confession is not only good for the soul but lightens the burden and saves our back as you know who has it and paid the price... :)

[Einstein Noodle]

yes yes and yes again Pete! thanks always for your support here at the Cafe' ... one can pick up the Bible or any book on Social Work, Psychology, Psychiatry etc .. and find the admonitions to "get it off our chests" .. i think you feel me brother .. thanks so much
E.

[Nusquam Esse]

Your writing has evolved over the last decade. Your usage of words has become more natural, and your final stanza is really good.

[Einstein Noodle]

my dear old friend :))))))))))))))))))))))))) so happy to see you active here at the Cafe' .. thank you for your compliment and encouragement to keep working on creative writing .. i have been very dry for about a year and when that happens i turn to classic forms .. i have to work hard at them as my natural preference is abstract ... i ran this past Richard before posting it and he gave me a few pointers which i took .. best of the coming new year sir ... hope to continue seeing you here!
E.

[Ken Simm.]

I am going to have a tee made saying I'm with Gene. Your writing is second to none my friend. This flows and speaks so well to the subjct. Its like a piece of cello music played by a master.

[Einstein Noodle]

wow! i have a deep appreciation for the Cello .. mellow Cello :))) thank you sir .. coming from you .. i am humbled and grateful for your encouraging words ... top o' the mahrnin' to ya!
E.

[andrew mitchell]

A fine write Gene but sadly the world is in bad shape at present. So much anger and violence everywhere. Staying safe seems to be on the agenda more so each coming year.

[Einstein Noodle]

anger and violence and more .. enough sins to tip the scales against us all eh!? love is the answer my brother .. and Heaven lay beyond the grave .. i am hopeful ... our human history is fraught with the things the world is going through and much worse .. :( ...... i don't think the world can turn, my friend .. but you and i can eh!? if we choose :)
E.

[Lorry]

And as if a new(ish) write from you Sir Noodle aren't reason enough to celebrate, may I wish you an almost end to that year from hell that thought playing games and messing with our heads so much that some might actually welcome trump back, for purely selfish reasons of knowing its easier to watch the idiot that doesn't realise he's an idiot!
I do so hope 2024 brings you happiness E, with plenty more inspiration added, so your words have time to bake and set fully, before unleashing them onto us.
😊

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks Lorry ... there is a hope and joy that has nothing to do with our politics and confusing sometimes fearful world ... i just look at the lilies of the fields and how wonderfully they are clothed ... to plagerize one way better than i ;) thanks so much for reviewing .. taking time ... best of the day to ya .. and an exciting adventurous new year .. with many pleasant surprises
E.

[Cherrie]

I love the progression of thought- growing maturing and discovering the true treasure of life.

[Einstein Noodle]

oh my dear mon Cherrie!!! so happy you found me back ... right here at the Cafe' ... your walking my spaces is dear to me ... i need to catch up :) .. thank you for your review .. encouragement and presence ... here at the Cafe'
E.

[Chris Shaw]

Your final couplet is so moving Mr E.

The stuff of youth plays on your conscience as you age. Yes, plenty of time for reflection once we have matured and in our latter years. Plenty of time to delve into what we consider sinful. And everyone of us is guilty of sin.

Christianity is based on forgiveness and I am reminded here of how forgiving Christ was/is

A wonderful poem.

Merry Christmas.

Chris 🎄

[Einstein Noodle]

yes! Jesus teaches the greatest of these (gifts) is love ... first of our Father Creator and then to our neighbors as we love ourselves .. and so loving one's self in all our imperfections is a prerequisite eh!? Thank you so much for the visit, Chris .. means a lot ot me :) as for what we consider sin ... it's pretty well set forth, in my opinion .. it is not a subjective thing .. but objective fact ... what applies in our spiritual life .. applies in the material world ... we look inside and find out don't we?! very healthy and joy filled Christmas day and New Year to you, dear friend
E.

[Aneto]

What an incredible poem! Masterfully crafted, thank you! If I may take a guess as to the inspiration... Is it not a scene from The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis? That particular vignette was my favorite part of the book, I must say. :)

~Aneto~

[Einstein Noodle]

i am not familiar with the C.S. Lewis referenced but will check it out .. the inspiration??? mmmmmm just wanting to put it to a sonnet form ... a stubborn truth about all human kind .. we are in need and can find redemption .. become better people that the Creator means us to be ... peace and joy my new friend .. again.. thank you for taking time
E.

[FGFRANKLIN]

Every new generation disregards the lessons taught by the older one. Thus, we remain collectively and eternally stupid as a species. Ignorance would be forgivable but the young could know if they would listen. They live in denial or rush headlong into the social atmosphere, burning like meteors to their demise. I'm reminded of ee cummings' poem, old age sticks. If we survive long enough and are honest with ourselves I think we all have some regrets. But we can learn from our mistakes or simply brood over them. I much prefer the former as a course of action. Being of a contrite spirit is humbling but there is wisdom to be gained in such humility and forgiveness, both for self and others. I enjoyed the read. F.

[Einstein Noodle]

yes! there is much to be learned from our mistakes and misgivings .. wisdom, it seems, is not bound for our youthful years .. we gain it from suffering consequences .. and if, as you say, we are honest ... we can find peace, assurance and the forgiveness we all need. love on ya brother .. thanks so much for reading and reviewing ... means a lot to me
E.