Now

Photo by Tara Brach

Now

is harsh lamps; lit in fading black moon rain

this bed should be my place of comfort 

and rest ......... 

this room            this room ............._

                                                             _

                                                                _

                                                                  _ has

graven ash faces with long, large, ears and

old man hairs    uncut        and 

only hear whirring ............ beeping ........ clicks and pricks

that seep through the fogs

blending neural walls bland

stone tears 

past remorse now

rays iris' colors to shrouded gray  -   in stark relief.

waiting

                                      THEY

should know me better

some sleep             please           I just need

one fleeting moment           

                                    PLEASE!

please, please burn down the lights

kill the floods up front!

it's harsh            smelling of burned umber and metal filings        crisp and unclean

          charcoal crimson 

weeks and weeks of layered body oils and stink

splintering bone, like broken thorns piercing

those places ...........................................

the watching plods

in agony

in horror

in apathy

this now.

4/28/22

E.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Relic]

Yes, my father was in and out of hospitals for many years and I can relate to this. I remember that horrible light behind his bed, the constant beeping, the nurses coming in and out. I can only imagine what it must have been like for him under the haze of the drugs going through his system.

You caught the emotions in this splendidly. Excellent work.

[Einstein Noodle]

aw Relic!!! i am so humbled and gratified for your reading and sharing about your Da ... yes! one can only imagine what it is like ... when one is present ... yet unaccounted for ... love ya man ... good on you for being with your Da in that most hard time for family and friends actually eh!? peace and joy and thank you for this visit
E.

[Cherrie Palmer]

When I read this I cannot commit to one theme
But my mind travels and comes back to memories with a bitter edge.

[Einstein Noodle]

yes ... it's abstract to a point for sure! i hope memories with those edges are less sharp ... some things never loose that deep cut .. :(
E.

[W. Barrett Munn]

Yes, I agree that LSD is a highly underrated drug but mescaline is better.

Stay Mellow, Yellow.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahahaha you ol' hippie you !!!!!!!!!!!!! i love your say on this ... it is balls up to another wall ... would you read my collaboration with Frieda? "mushroom clouds in magic lands" ... you might get a kick out of it .. thanks for taking time .. this one has nothing to do with LSD nor the drug culture ... but i love your commentary ...
E.

[Einstein Noodle]

ps. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQNBQI3UDag

[Einstein Noodle]

ps. my collab with Frieda has nothing to do with drugs either ;) ...

[W. Barrett Munn]

I was kidding. It’s a great write but it can leave you disoriented as if on drugs.

[Einstein Noodle]

i think we may both have had a trip or two eh!? .. in many ways .. thank you for your kindness and time .. luv on ya sir!

[Red Brick Keshner]

I feel the distress and the dissonant thoughts in its ragged pattern and rhythm. Love the contrast with Chopin's nocturne. My dad had his collection of 78 rpm's (his master's voice) and myself a motley set of Deutsche Grammophon cassette tapes. Found it to cumbersome to lug along a record player. Those where the days. Thanks for sharing, Richard.

[Einstein Noodle]

yes! i too recall my parents 78s ... thick as peanut butter and about 10 inches diameter ... i still have a few of my LPs and actually have a record player that will play them! ;) thanks so much for stopping by ... so ... do you go by Richard??
E.

[Red Brick Keshner]

I was addressing you. Apologies for the confusion, Richard. /Frederick.
P.S. I do have a cousin named Richard & the fam used to confuse us.

[Neville]

I sincerely hope this reflects your ability to scribble so eloquently and with such incredible versatility on a seemingly infinite variety and range of topic/subjects my very dear Friend (please note the deliberate CAPITOL F folks) .. and is far removed from any autobiographical legacy you ae planning to leave behind .. otherwise, I shall have something very serious to say sir ...

Now then, where woz I .. Oh' yeah .. I think I can relate to these words Gene and just want you to know that the terms bloomin brilliant would be something of an understatement if applied on their own below this little masterpiece of yours you have so generously shared ..

Neville :))

[Einstein Noodle]

ah ... we share a brotherhood do we not, Nev!? i am thoroughly humbled by your remarks and so happy you saw something in this one ... love and joy to you and your family ... stay safe and well my friend!
E.

[Neville]

the pleasure, as always, is entirely mine :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Could you be describing the experience of not being able to sleep due to arthritis or some such physical ailment. The mechanic breakdown of the body and the balms that should heal but no longer does the trick. The physical pain hijacking the mind and taking it to dark places. I observed in myself that dark thoughts accompany illness. I have yet to ascertain which comes first; the illness or the thoughts.

The work is extraordinary and original. The metaphors masterfully applied.

(Peppermint oil has remarkable healing properties)

[Einstein Noodle]

i love peppermint ..have a bottle on hand all the time ;) your thoughts remind me of the eternal discussions on whether the emotions or the thoughts are first or not ... i believe it''s all in the mind .. up to a point .. we just aren't meant to last forever are we?! ... thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful review .. it's super encouraging for me .. thanks so much! glad you enjoyed reading
E.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

“graven ash faces with long, large, ears and
old man hairs uncut and
only hear whirring ............ beeping ........ clicks and pricks
that seep through the fogs”

Poe speaks in you dear E. …The Tell-Tale Heart…Cask of Amontillado…we die, we die, both you and I. Pity…
Your haunting verses as they pause and ..walk..down…to a stony peace, are indelible. Deathly, captive imagery burns a hole in the psyche. Hospital..last stop- all out. I get it totally. “Quoth the Raven “Nevermore”. Amazing work my friend, literally and figuratively, the descent into frailty and more..immortalized.

[Einstein Noodle]

yes!! the hospital room .. dahlink you have made me day with this sensitive read and your review .. can only gasp and say ..... thank you ;))))))))) love and great peace to you my dear friend!
E.

[Chris Shaw]

Hello Mr E, somehow I missed this one but pleased to come across a new write from you. A hospital setting (was in there myself yesterday,) harsh lights, high tec equipment beeping. I read your lines three times. So it has come to this. Old age has a habit of creeping up on us. Maybe this person in the bed is in his last moments, just begging some peace and quiet and for the lights to dim before he goes on a new journey? Makes me realise how time flashes by, we ain't getting any younger and to seize the moment. Live for the day.

Hope you are well my friend. Take good care of yourself and be happy.

Chris

[Einstein Noodle]

i am well ... thank you for expressing your hope for me .. and i send it right back at ya! ;) i am 73 now and past the family Irish curse of men not living past 72 ;))))))))))) and only recently do i look in the mirror and see someone older than 45 or maybe 50 .. it makes me smile ... when the machine breaks down we tune it back up as best we can but the decline is most certainly inevitable .. dust to dust eh!? love on ya Chris .. i am grateful for all your support .. right here at the Cafe' ..
E.

[supernova_thoughts]

One word. Beautiful!
I admire how you put your thoughts into writing.
Makes me go back and reread everything.... just to come to various conclusions every single time.

[Einstein Noodle]

what a smile your review puts on me face ... thanks so much for taking time ... love and peace and safety
E.

[supernova_thoughts]

You're welcome!☘️

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

A great wry sublime muse here, old age frailty and more. Kudos for this brill poem!

Plz also check out my two newest poems and then pleez comment on one of these two poems that you prefer. Thanks

[Einstein Noodle]

i am happy to do that ... thank you for your visit .. and sharing your reactions with me ..it's important :) ......
E.