Now

Photo by Tara Brach

Now

is harsh lamps; lit in fading black moon rain

this bed should be my place of comfort 

and rest ......... 

this room            this room ............._

                                                             _

                                                                _

                                                                  _ has

graven ash faces with long, large, ears and

old man hairs    uncut        and 

only hear whirring ............ beeping ........ clicks and pricks

that seep through the fogs

blending neural walls bland

stone tears 

past remorse now

rays iris' colors to shrouded gray  -   in stark relief.

waiting

                                      THEY

should know me better

some sleep             please           I just need

one fleeting moment           

                                    PLEASE!

please, please burn down the lights

kill the floods up front!

it's harsh            smelling of burned umber and metal filings        crisp and unclean

          charcoal crimson 

weeks and weeks of layered body oils and stink

splintering bone, like broken thorns piercing

those places ...........................................

the watching plods

in agony

in horror

in apathy

this now.

4/28/22

E.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Relic]

Yes, my father was in and out of hospitals for many years and I can relate to this. I remember that horrible light behind his bed, the constant beeping, the nurses coming in and out. I can only imagine what it must have been like for him under the haze of the drugs going through his system.

You caught the emotions in this splendidly. Excellent work.

[Einstein Noodle]

aw Relic!!! i am so humbled and gratified for your reading and sharing about your Da ... yes! one can only imagine what it is like ... when one is present ... yet unaccounted for ... love ya man ... good on you for being with your Da in that most hard time for family and friends actually eh!? peace and joy and thank you for this visit
E.

[ProphetsMother]

Old age can be a lonely time for people because they are often left with days by themselves. and solitude is best time to reflect so when you have a whole life to recollect.. I feel it can often lead to madness. An ode to our elders may they never be alone

[Einstein Noodle]

yes it can, for sure... many aged people, without family or friends are forgotten souls .. nursing homes, lonely corners .. death beds ... we watch peers die off the older we get ... this poem is meant to focus on those kinds of things but the flip side is the wisdom accumulated through long living .. sorting things out to find the greatest satisfaction is found in small simple things ..thanks again for taking time.. see you around .. right here at the Cafe'
E.

[Scott Kris]

It’s a horrible place to be stuck in “now” sometimes.
We are told to live in the moment. Yet some moments are meant to live beyond…. Somehow.

Powerful emotion here.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Scott.

[Einstein Noodle]

yes ... some "moments" can seem intolerable, unbearable .. without Faith; we can easily loose hope ... thank you for visiting .. i am not sure we have met before .. will knock on your door presently Scott ... your review helps me ... thank you!
E.

[Soren]

"Stone tears" vivid and expressive. The last "splintering bone like broken thorns piercing" evokes visceral images that are strong and painful. Nicely written

[Einstein Noodle]

i really appreciate you pointing to the words that especially struck home .. it helps a lot .. thanks so much!
E.

[Michael]

Odd how places to heal are clinical to the point that it feels so sterile and alien. Moving and descriptive - reinforces my feelings about hospital.

[Einstein Noodle]

yes, not a nice place to be no matter .. but necessary in many cases ;) and yes .. sterile, clinical ... alien .. love that my friend .. thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and taking time .. right here at the Cafe'
E.

[Dennis Wolf]

Life's never really good without the baggage, though for the most part we'd like to be free from it, but then what will fuel the creation of beautiful art, when the pink glasses view is boring?

I've never before read this kind of poetry on here... It was interesting and... Effective.
Thank you for sharing.

[Einstein Noodle]

wow! so gratified you found this then, Dennis ... for the most part i am abstract but do try to have an anchor in there too ... i'm afraid i am not always successful and what i write simply rolls off the ducks back so to speak ... thanks for your visit and review .. for taking time ... love and peace
E.

[Dennis Wolf]

Heck it happens to us all.

It was a good read.

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you! :)

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Gene… there is a time to Rejoice and lie in the Autumn Sun… even the Roses sleep in the Snow.. and Spring will bring ❤️ love to your Door.. tenderly, Pat

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you Pat! love is all around us isn't it!? ... but I wish for you too a special dose at your door today!
E.

[Patricia Wedel]

Thank you Gene… a Rose on the Trellis is worth the Wait…. at the Garden Gate… gently, Pat

[Sami Khalil]

I felt reading a powerful biography of a soldier, perhaps in a far off war experience and in a foreign country. I truly felt the message in between as I translated it; the massacres, the horrors and the agonies. Hard to achieve peace with except through God Almighty. It is doable. I hope the author's past remorse turn into forgiveness and release from this bondage.
Masterful.

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you Sami! what a wonderful, sensitive review .. it's an honor it touched you in such a way .. thanks so much for letting me know ... yes .. one hopes at that moment .. we see clearly the forgiveness offered by our Creator and God .. and accepts it .. blessings brother!
E.

[Sami Khalil]

Wow! All true and well said. You are welcome muchly.

[William Michael Reeves]

Now, is when I found this poem late. That I hadn’t checked earlier I hate. It took me to memories of sleep deprivation due to hospitalization. I tried communication but found no resolution, so I accepted my fate and for release, I did wait. Then after another read I found realization in your jumbled feed that perhaps you lead this puzzled reader to concede, I really don’t know what it’s about. How ‘bout fate, just before checking in at the Pearly Gate after a long spate of frustration in a home of rehabilitation? Maybe I don’t need full comprehension, though it does make my brain bleed to ponder ‘pon it and ruminate. That is why I think your poem is great!

Billigami

[Einstein Noodle]

life is difficult isn't it .. at times ... thank you for wading through my muddle and finding value in the memories it inspired ... your impressions are of great value sir .. thank you for sharing them!
E.

[Lisasview]

Hi there,
Boy oh boy do your words bring back a flood of memories.
My dear sweet mother, what Alzheimer’s and lived in a very nice place with great care, luckily for only a short time, and died at 85…saw her every day…but the lights and the noise must have been so difficult for her.
Before that she lived in a darling - quiet home for over 50 years, surrounded by a beautiful garden and things she loved and then all of a sudden, or so it seemed, she was no longer herself.
As I write this I am reminded of being in the hospital 3 times as a child…and how I feared the noise, lights and SHOTS… always seemed to be at night…horrible…
Your poem was so well written my dear friend…
So well in fact as to bring back many, many memories.
Lisa, on the train going home from Galicia

[Einstein Noodle]

God bless you for standing by your Ma, Lisa ... mine too suffered from Alzheimer's ... we were fortunate that Ma remained her very sweet self throughout ... that is not always the case ... I am a retired Nurse and was fortunate enough to have had the means and ability to care for her at home until the last year of her life ... she went into Hospice .. and like your Ma had a nice, cheerful room large enough for us to bring some things of hers to help her adjust ... including her favorite chair ... not sure how much she recognized ... we felt better tho ... thank you for reading and sharing those things this poem brought to your mind ... we are fortunate to have been loved and loved back, our Ma s .... thinking of you right now Ms. Lisa ... peace, love and joy!
E.

[Lisasview]

Hi there,
Thank you for appreciating my review...
My mother was in a fabulous place with many of her personal things around her.
Including images of herself on the covers, etc. of famous magazines. She was a photographers model (that is what they called it then.) Everyone loved seeing them.
I also, brought a reclining chair that she enjoyed to the assisted living place. She passed away in a about a year after being there.
There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of her and so wish that she was here so I could share what is going on in my life with her. Breaks my heart...
Lisa, in Spain

[Einstein Noodle]

I hear and feel you, Lisa ... what an exciting life she led ... you must have learned and experienced many varied things growing up ... hugs and luv to ya ... we are so fortunate to miss those in our lives who we loved and loved us .. miss mine too!

[Lisasview]

Yes, she...and my father were amazing.
Thank you,
Lisa