Not sure about the need for first three stanzas, but I do like saw toothed mountains so yes, a ponderous picture of heavy issues sealed in Pandora's boxes. I like the rhythm, form and the way that you typically go for broke as in the golfer's lament - never up; never in!
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
thanks so much for your honesty my new found friend .. not a golfer so haven't heard to phrase ... b.. read morethanks so much for your honesty my new found friend .. not a golfer so haven't heard to phrase ... but i like it ... more brings to mind my present love life tho :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) not to be concerned for me tho .. i am old and past all that nonsense ...not! ;) ... sorry the V1-3 failed to touch you .... but i love your review!
E.
When I read you I walk away slightly disoriented much like the sensation experienced after a roller coaster ride. :-)
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
ahahahaha ...did you throw your hands up in the air going down??? great comment .. thanks for taking.. read moreahahahaha ...did you throw your hands up in the air going down??? great comment .. thanks for taking time!
E.
Since I live i the Appalachians, I can surely appreciate your vivid images of this journey with the mist in the valleys, so clear and colorful....you seem overloaded with equipment, not sure exactly where you're heading, but it really doesn't matter...one shoulder over weighted... moving, emotions, touching other as one hugs a tree, it;s more than just mountains.... it's the intertwining of people and moods.
Best, B
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
our relationships can be complicated can't they, Betty?! i very much appreciate you pointing to bein.. read moreour relationships can be complicated can't they, Betty?! i very much appreciate you pointing to being overloaded and off balance ... our sense of touch can move beyond fingertips can't it!? ;) ... peace and joy my dear friend .. thanks so much for your helpful review!
E.
"the weight loads one shoulder
then; another beyond balance
winding about the neck
like cobwebs" ... this stanza brought to mind myself, walking through the local countryside with my camera gear hanging about me. There is certainly something photographic (or even cinematic) about this poem. Some very interesting imagery, which will probably mean different things to different people, but that's OK - like looking at a surrealist painting. I'm a huge fan of Magritte, and your poem could easily be a written poetic interpretation of one of his works!... "frayed sayings much over done" is a delightful line!
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
thank you for your visit Robert and encouraging review .. my "voice" is abstract and so yes .. can b.. read morethank you for your visit Robert and encouraging review .. my "voice" is abstract and so yes .. can be many interpretations .. your comparison to the art of Magritte is very encouraging for me .. i especially like his works with portraits having their heads shrouded with linen .. tho they are more surrealist than abstract .. the rest of the day to ya sir! thanks again for taking time
E.
Mr. E, your writing evokes strong images that make it easy to picture someone trying to manage multiple pieces of overloaded luggage....and, in a hurry. I hope I interpreted it correctly. I hope you will stop by and review some of my work. I'm be interested in what you think. My style is much different from yours. Thank you for sharing your talents. Temp
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
i will be happy to walk down your streets ... right here at the Cafe' .. and thank you so much for v.. read morei will be happy to walk down your streets ... right here at the Cafe' .. and thank you so much for visiting mine .. more importantly, for letting me know your thoughts and reactions in reading ... yes! we can carry a boatload of luggage along our pathway can't we!? peace and love Temperance!
E.
I simply love the opening line :) Through touching we let life introduce itself to us I suppose, and many things can be done with touch. I like the direction your writing has taken me dear author :)) My favorite line is:
''hollow walls make spaces for souls and
demons just as easily''
You nailed it!
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
thank you for taking the time to read and let me know your impressions .. i feel pretty good this sp.. read morethank you for taking the time to read and let me know your impressions .. i feel pretty good this spoke to you in such a way .. yes .. touch has epic stories in just one open exposure ;) really like how you put it .. i also appreciate you pointing out lines that particularly spoke to you .. helps a lot my friend!
E.
the weight loads one shoulder
then; another beyond balance
winding about the neck
like cobwebs
These are the feelings which I had first time felt in those mountains, I was missing my other shoulder side. Very sensitive feeling, makes me feel how deep you think about, really felt like single mom. The depth for the touch I could see your intent in video song, can’t see how you are running, felt like you may fall, amazing capture of your emotion, how will I know about you until you express what it means I for you, as you never revealed. I miss you, great expression of your feelings in much more deeper way. Nice poem, feeling your love and thoughts.
Whoeeee! Your writes are satisfying and gratifying for the senses even the touch. A wonderful song to add a cherry on the cake. You are a craftsman of wondrous poetry which I find unique and have depths of messages.
Posted 2 Years Ago
2 Years Ago
thank you so much Sami! we are getting to be long time friends here aren't we .. the appreciation yo.. read morethank you so much Sami! we are getting to be long time friends here aren't we .. the appreciation you talk about is "right back at ya bro" ... and thank you for pointing out lines that stood out for you ... it helps a lot .. be well and stay safe out there!
E.
2 Years Ago
Yes siiiirrrrr. All true and well said. You are welcome sir Einstein.
This morning as I began to log in to WC, it occurred to me what an inspiring and comfortable place this has become for me.
There are so many talented people sharing, encouraging, teaching and learni.. more..