When I Die

thank you KWP for giving me that last line and word on this one... it is changed from "falling" to "fading" ... it takes a village eh!? ;)

When I die

the lure was educational                                     

                                                        

She wasn't trying to open discussions

So                           I said nothing

She carried the weight 

all the  power in her favor

all the world  .................................................and

the passing are no matter                      at all   

                             really

calm hand       

                       spine tingling fingers        

                                                                 cold  wrapping those

finely tuned strings of spun corruption

 'round and round and 

                                                         around the whole of things                                                               

those                     specific colors and       feathered flavors  

those                     specific species                       in it 

from the beginning and

now the end

fading ...................  

E.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Paul Bell]

I was drawn to the title. Oh, how we avoid death at all costs, especially talking about it.
Death in Western countries is just taboo. Actually, I think we would rather say people expired.
I think it is brave to talk about it, maybe make the journey more bearable at the end.
Tough poem this one, a thought for the day.

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks so much Paul .. I think you are absolutely right .. we should talk about it along with every other important subject .. it is as natural as birth eh!? i think its the perceived unknown and expectation of loss as well as our own mortality that makes it difficult. With Faith our goal is reset beyond the grave .. we strive to live for others and do all we can to conform to the wondrous "Golden Rule" .. or we go destructive .. harming ourselves and others to one degree or another. With just that mustard seed of Faith we know well the confidence of 1Corinthians 15:55 "O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?...." it goes on to say that the "sting" is caused by our sin .. our misunderstanding of what is really free and what isn't ... anyway ;) ... i really appreciate your review ... that it gave you pause .. to think and consider is more than i could hope for in a poem ... be well my friend and stay safe ...
E.

[Paul Bell]

I think it's a British thing, death is the person next door, he or she was old, so it was expected. We'll bow our heads and put it to sleep then probably go shopping to forget the experience.

[Einstein Noodle]

not just the Brits ;) ..............................

[Temperance]

How many times have we heard someone say, "When I die" and then, go on to state their wishes; be cremated or buried, give so and so this item or that, have a party and celebrate my life??? I haven't heard too many talk about HOW they want to die but, I'm sure many think about it. I think it's okay to talk about death. It is a given. It's okay to prepare those we leave behind. Very thought-provoking, Mr. E. Thank you!
BTW - my friend request didn't seem to work with you.

[Einstein Noodle]

i haven't met one yet, until now, you, who have had the experience of many people in discussions of death and dying .. i have found that most of us are uncomfortable with the subject ... i think it should be a part of any life ed. that may be our there. ;) thank you Ms. Temp ... for giving your time to read and review .. it's important .. as for the FR ... well ... we have just begun to be introduced; wouldn't you say?! :)))))))))))))))
E.

[Soren]

The title seemed to tie to the last line. She being death has all power. The ending of the poem to me reflected the delirium that often accompanies the death throes. Nicely done.

[Einstein Noodle]

i have been told by Ministers who have been there at the bedsides of many people .. that some do have such a great fear in them at the time .. i suppose it could be called delirium; but i have never really considered that ... may be another poem or two in that alone eh!? ;)
thank you for taking time Soren .. much appreciated
E.

[Lisasview]

Oh gosh dying... I read the review from Paul and others... Paul spoke of not talking about death at all costs...must be an age thing??? because that is what we actually talk about the most here... and now..
Important to discuss it..
Thought as it might seem... always best to discuss it..as your poem did...
Lisa, late now in Spain

[Einstein Noodle]

yes ... it is as dramatic and awe inspiring (with faith) as birth is in my opinion .. and even more important because as you say .. it tends to be neglected in every day conversations and discussions ... until it happens close to home eh!? love your review, Lisa .. thank you
E.

[Lisasview]

Thank you for understanding my review..
Lisa

[William Michael Reeves]

The lure? All the power in the world? I like the way you structure it so as I recite it out loud I can catch the emphasis. Are those strings of spun corruption the tingling fingers of a cold hand? I love alliteration and assonance.

[Einstein Noodle]

we have so many tools to work with don't we, William?! to help us find our voice and then say it like we see and feel it ... i appreciate you pointing those things out in this one .. thanks so much sir!
E.

[Susan 🦋]

When I die… I want to hear, well done. Good and faithful one, well done. And then I might have some questions. You tackled a tough subject here. Something everyone has to face.

[Einstein Noodle]

ji agree ... a much maligned reality ... mostly gets the gruesome face. dark clock and scythe ;) I also believe all those words that Jesus spoke ... to hear Him say "Good and faithful servant..." is the goal to maintain throughout life ... choices we make that draw us closer .. not farther from that saving Grace .. thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts Susan! much respect ma'am!!
E.

[Fran Marie]

I been reading so many poems about
death lately..we do try to avoid this
subject but yet we write about it
in poetry ..perhaps putting it in a
much better light it becomes easier
to accept the fact that we're re all
just mere mortal men awaiting that
final moment of taking our last breath
you have penned death in such a
beautifully manner.."oh death where
is that sting" nice work E

[Einstein Noodle]

oh my goodness!! I couldn't ask for more in a review! Yes! "oh death, where is thy sting?" ... funny how we, here at the Cafe', seem to have runs on a same theme ... a combination of our fellow poets happening to post them and our own choices of what to read in one sitting or another ... when I note it myself .. it just intrigues me .. like "Oh .. the Cafe' is talking about death today." :)))))))))))) luv ya Fran! thanks for taking time and sharing your thoughts .. peace and joy!
E.

[Fran Marie]

you re s o very welcome;

[Zoe Richardson]

"specific colors and feathered flavors." Beautiful! I think you have a specific reference in mind with these words. Interesting that death is woman, too. I like this one!

[Einstein Noodle]

YES! Death is a woman! an idea that sparked a lot of this one ... thank you Zoe ... glad you like it!
E.

[andrew mitchell]

When I die I want to die peacefully in my sleep just like my grandpa did, not screaming and carrying on like the other passengers in his car. :) Nice writing Gene.

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks Andrew ... for taking time and sharing your thoughts on it ... yes .. peacefully is the way to go .. i am convinced one's Faith has everything in the world to do with it. me Da, in his own bed, simply raised up one hand and I swear he was looking at his Lord's welcome ... there was an aura in the room .. my Ma and an Aunt were also present .. then he just laid back and breathed his last ... grateful to have been there ... never forget that scene. i tell my kids i am just going to walk off into the forest and simply fade into it ;)
E.

[Laura Kate]

I was also drawn to the title, taking about and accepting death may make it less unbearable for us when loved ones leave, or for when our own day finally comes.
I really enjoyed the fleeting nature of the structure,
and, the mummification of the poem itself as well as within.
Great stuff!
Thank you, Laura.

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks again Ms. Kate .. for visiting and leaving your reactions .. how else do we know right?! I am 72 and it has taken me this long to realize the goal in life is not on this earth .. but beyond the grave.. following the Golden Rule and piling up treasures in heaven instead of here ;)
E.

[Laura Kate]

Sounds wonderful :)
Laura.

[Miss Sharon]

A wonderful write my friend. Gives one much to ponder about. ~Sharon

[Einstein Noodle]

what a treat to have you stop by Sharon!! thanks so much! glad you found something in this one that put you a-pondering ;)
E.