She Loves Me ...She Loves Me Not

She Loves Me ...She Loves Me Not

A Poem by Einstein Noodle
"

plagiarized cliche' with what i mean to be haiku ;)

"
she loves me      - 
  darkly dawn into grey
                                  oak limbs creak awake the day
                                  slightest light blinding
she loves me not -
  saffron crocus spreads 
                                        mirage  horizon blazes 
                                        pink and orange collide
she loves me      -
             mismatch of color 
                                        intoxicating wonder
                                        clematis climbing
she loves me not -
high noon in the sky  
                                    straight up blistering 
                                    monkey face orchid 
                                     
she loves me    -
low down cooling quiet
                            dusk approaches West Mountain  
                            lotus flower floats                               
she loves me not -
   fire born must go out
                                      nightshade turns to face the moon
                                      warming lights go out
she loves me        -
black velvet cloaks sky
                              mauve carnation vows deeply
                              dreaming bell flowers
                             

© 2020 Einstein Noodle


Author's Note

Einstein Noodle
fun with flowers and haiku ... constructive critique always welcome ;)

My Review

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Featured Review

Hello Mr E. Your title grabbed me big time. Took me right back to when I would pluck the petals off daisy heads) replacing the she with a he though) On reflection how cruel that was. I really do like the haiku/senryu structure. There is so much that can be said in 17 syllables and far more between the lines too. These take skill to do well and yours are exceptionally colourful, flowery and scented. I have to say I do love the heady, intoxicating perfume of garden flowers. Imagery from dawn to sunset, complete with mountains and moonlight. A different kind of love poem, so very creative and very much enjoyed. I lingered here quite a while. Hope you are well my friend across the pond while Miss Covid is calling on us.

Chris

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Einstein Noodle

4 Years Ago

thank you so much as always Christine ... you have a knack for seeing and feeling the whole of poems.. read more
Chris Shaw

4 Years Ago

Ha ha. Dumpling....

Hey fatty boom boom, sweet sugar dumpling.....

Can.. read more
Einstein Noodle

4 Years Ago

ahahaha no ... i'll have to look that one up ;) we have well enough ache and pain .. i think it the .. read more



Reviews

Intriguing and delightfully descriptive!
I enjoyed this, the actual process of reading adds an interesting impact.
x

Posted 4 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

4 Years Ago

:) thanks sharonlee! :) happy you liked a day in a life ... love and joy my friend! :)
E.
This has to be the most creative poem I've read on here, and definitely one of the best poems I've ever read. It's so open to interpretations. It makes me think of the circle of life, how the flowers correspond to the different hours of the day, and how these flowers would come and go with the seasons, just how our doubts about love and other life decisions come and go. It isn't unfortunate to get those doubts, but rather it's unfortunate if we aren't able to resolve them by nightfall. :))

Posted 4 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

4 Years Ago

yes it is moonie! :) resolution has lots to say about life doesn't it?! :) thanks for taking time to.. read more
Very creative sir Einstein Noodle and worthy of applause in the poetic sense. The questioning is vital, the maturity and realization from younger days till the seasoned years with multi-dimensional experiences, the correlation between sights and sounds, smells and so forth with a relationship and or certain individual, the meaning, meanings flowing through our understanding that we tend to hold on. You are amazing sir...

Posted 4 Years Ago


Sami Khalil

4 Years Ago

Wow. Good singer and songs. Handsome man like yourself...
Einstein Noodle

4 Years Ago

ahahahah bro love eh!? :)))))))))))))))
Sami Khalil

4 Years Ago

:::::::))))))))))))))
Really liked the way the descriptions matched each "She loves me" and "She loves me not." Glad the former prevailed in the end.


Posted 4 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

4 Years Ago

:) .......well ... that is the hope and the dream eh!? thanks for visiting John .. glad you enjoyed!.. read more
left side: simple human conundrum
right side: the complexity of nature at its best with your soft, flowing language,
between the lines resolve yet questioning, as the human tries to understand what he sees...it's pure personification on the right side, and on the left the human thinking only of himself and what may or may not be given to him.

Bravo! Mr. E.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Einstein Noodle

4 Years Ago

Sir jacob! this is the best review i have received since i have been here ... in the sense that it i.. read more
You don't need to pull the leaves from daisies to know she loves you E, how could she not with such a beauutiful description of a day in the life of your thoughts? (I'm sure you only count out the loves/ me nots on the petals and leave them intact too for others inspiration.)
I can almost smell that garden from here 😀

Posted 4 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

4 Years Ago

well ... she says i cough and hack like a braying mule, can't hear, can't drive and i fart .. i don'.. read more
Lorry

4 Years Ago

Sounds like it must be love to me 😀
The hours of the day accentuated with love and the beauty of nature. Your Haiku are so lovely, E....so filled with precious imagery and the syllable count is spot on. She loves you in the moonlight, in the morning, and at dusk....what a romantic thought. Wonderful work. Lydi**

Posted 4 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

4 Years Ago

awwwwww .. so pleased you followed the day through Lydi ... i am glad you enjoyed reading ... thanks.. read more
How would this work in the 21st century where kids wouldn't know a petal from a pedillo. Though that might be a bit harsh. Could this work by text. Do you love me, or do you not.'' Reply.'' I hate your guts. Then she goes and marries that other guy, it will never last ten years later. lol.
Like the idea of Haiku's in your presentation. Really should pop into the neighbours garden and grab a flower and practice my petal plucking, though I don't know if this breaks the restraining order. Let's give it a try, what's the worse that can happen.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

4 Years Ago

go for it Paul ... be daring! :))))))))wear a mask!:)))))))))))))
what does "pedillo" mean ... read more
Paul Bell

4 Years Ago

Reclusion is the new going out. We better not complain, I hear in Qatar they hang you for not wearin.. read more
Einstein Noodle

4 Years Ago

i fear this will get more crazy before better ... but ... this too will pass eh!?
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A nicely painted series of haikus, dear E! Quite inventive with the addition of the side "cliches" as you call them. Luckily for you the final petal plucked is in your favour! Well done on extending the series and keeping them all in a cohesive whole. A task that many others fail to achieve. Its a picture painting in words and most suitable for those used to staring at walls these past few months. Much enjoyed! :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

4 Years Ago

thank you so much Jamilla ... of course she loves him ... he's going back to dream land as night fal.. read more
dear E... I thought of Cary Grant calling Joan Fontaine “Monkey Face” many times during the Movie “Suspicion”. An endearing Romantic movie with a somewhat happy ending after many mishaps). Your verses are perfect matinees each and every one that would surely result in “she definitely does” love you.
Spring fever has you in a love chain of Daisies.
truly, Pat


Posted 4 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

4 Years Ago

ahahaha i will have to check the movie out .. those are two classic stars! your reviews are always s.. read more

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735 Views
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on May 17, 2020
Last Updated on May 17, 2020

Author

Einstein Noodle
Einstein Noodle

Pork Rind, AK



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This morning as I began to log in to WC, it occurred to me what an inspiring and comfortable place this has become for me. There are so many talented people sharing, encouraging, teaching and learni.. more..

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