She Loves Me ...She Loves Me Not

plagiarized cliche' with what i mean to be haiku ;)

she loves me      - 

  darkly dawn into grey

                                  oak limbs creak awake the day

                                  slightest light blinding

she loves me not -

  saffron crocus spreads 

                                        mirage  horizon blazes 

                                        pink and orange collide

she loves me      -

             mismatch of color 

                                        intoxicating wonder

                                        clematis climbing

she loves me not -

high noon in the sky  

                                    straight up blistering 

                                    monkey face orchid 

                                     

she loves me    -

low down cooling quiet

                            dusk approaches West Mountain  

                            lotus flower floats                               

she loves me not -

   fire born must go out

                                      nightshade turns to face the moon

                                      warming lights go out

she loves me        -

black velvet cloaks sky

                              mauve carnation vows deeply

                              dreaming bell flowers

                             

Author's Note

fun with flowers and haiku ... constructive critique always welcome ;)

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Hello Mr E. Your title grabbed me big time. Took me right back to when I would pluck the petals off daisy heads) replacing the she with a he though) On reflection how cruel that was. I really do like the haiku/senryu structure. There is so much that can be said in 17 syllables and far more between the lines too. These take skill to do well and yours are exceptionally colourful, flowery and scented. I have to say I do love the heady, intoxicating perfume of garden flowers. Imagery from dawn to sunset, complete with mountains and moonlight. A different kind of love poem, so very creative and very much enjoyed. I lingered here quite a while. Hope you are well my friend across the pond while Miss Covid is calling on us.

Chris

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you so much as always Christine ... you have a knack for seeing and feeling the whole of poems .. couldn't be more gratified for your review .. you are a dumplin' :) and very talented .. thanks so much for taking time to read and let me know your thoughts ... yeah .. Covid ... we need to remain updated on true substantiated facts about it but honestly .. i am pretty sick of so much coverage .. it sadly reminds me far to much of the body counts during the Viet Nam War ...we can't stay huddled in the cave any longer ... we risk life and limb every day .. all day ... before, during and after Covid .. we are well ..thank you .. and praying the same for you, yours and us all .. another day in the jungle right?! ;)))))))))))

[Chris Shaw]

Ha ha. Dumpling....

Hey fatty boom boom, sweet sugar dumpling.....

Can you remember those lyrics Mr E. You have put a wide smile on my face.

On a more serious note, I am so sorry that present circumstances are a reminder of Vietnam :(( That is a perpetual ache I would imagine.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha no ... i'll have to look that one up ;) we have well enough ache and pain .. i think it the far better teacher than joy however ... so glad we can chat ... right here at the Cafe' .. i went on a bit of vacation .. just returned a couple days ago and finally am back in my groove ... lots of reading to do :) love on ya!

[Nix is typing...]

I loved the stringing together of haikus!!! The imagery was great in this, I really like how you described...well I can't think of any other way to describe this, the ups and downs of a relationship. It was honestly the title that pulled me in, but it was the little haikus that kept me reading!! :) This was a great poem, Einstein Noodle!!!! :))))

100/100

Nix ❤️

[Einstein Noodle]

its a special treat when someone looks around my pages a bit to find something that leaps out at them .. truly, Nix, I appreciate you taking time .. glad you like it.. it was a bit of a challenge to find flowers whose meaning kind of matched the rising and falling in this .. thank's again.. love your avatar ears :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
E.

[Nix is typing...]

It was my pleasure :) I enjoyed the read
Thank you! I actually wear them everywhere, I get a lot of looks and compliments, although a lot of the looks are probably saying "What a weirdo" lol. But I try to embrace my weirdness :3

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahaha as well we all should Nix .. luv on ya! :)

[X]

You so beautifully described the torturous highs n' lows in the game called love--from dawn to dusk he does or he does not S***:)...such scrumptious images...each a paining of it own:)

[Einstein Noodle]

Kira! thank you so much ... i feel especially humbled and blessed by this review of yours .. i think your talents put you on a path to stardom one day ;)) love and joy my new found friend .. top o' the mahrnin' to ya!
E.

[X]

Your words brighten up this otherwise gray gloomy morning...you spoil me...I feel the same...have a wonderful day my friend 🌻🌞🎶

[Eilis]

What a lovely and stirring collection of haiku. I especially like the rhyming aspect and the way you give a definite tenor to the different moods of love and heartbreak.

The ‘she loves me’ haiku are soft and subtly sensuous while the ‘she loves me not’ haiku offer a sense of the sadness or loneliness of being jilted. I love how you created that effect with your imagery and showed rather than told about the heights and depths of love.

A great offering from you, E. Lovely to read you today!

[Einstein Noodle]

wow....Ellis...thank you so much! i am humbled and so happy you saw all that .. wow .. i am so pleased! thank you!!
E.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Excellent stamina in this one as you keep the threads together in the seven haiku and blend in the moving of the earth and flowers in colour and scent. Ends on a high-she loves you!

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you so much for your appreciation of the challenges in this .. and that's what it was for me .. rather than a flash of "inspiration" ... so happy you see what my attempt was .. the high note in closing was random :))))))))))))))))))))
E.

[Laz K.]

"fire born must go out" -- my guttural response to this was, "Ain't that a goddamn truth?"
That's what my first thought, and it almost made me laugh out loud. But, I guess, that's a good thing - that your poem had such a markedly strong effect on me...:)

[Einstein Noodle]

yep .. ain't it the truth indeed ;) glad it gave you a bit of a chuckle ... life is a fickle mistress ..thank you for taking time Laz .. i don't believe we have met before .. i will repay your kindness and take a peek at your streets .. right here at the Cafe'
E.

[Corset]

I love this, very creative and all the corresponding haikus are gorgeous, my jaw dropped when i looked up the monkey face orchid !!!!! so gonna order one, heh ,yea right now :D

[Einstein Noodle]

OHHHHHHHHH i am so glad you looked that up, Corset .. they're incredible aren't they??!! and of course i am happy you enjoyed this mish mash attempt .. thank you so much for reading and taking time to review .. love and peace always!
E.

[Coyote Poetry]

Wonderful use of words and thoughts. The words danced to meaningful thoughts and wonder. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry my friend. I did enjoy this poem.
Coyote

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks again my friend! for taking time .. this one was a bit of a mind challenge and fun for me .. God bless!
E.

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked this one and you are welcome my friend.

[Laura Kate]

I like the pace that you created with this piece, and the motion I can sense of the flower twisting and turning, back and forth, like a pendulum, like the nature of this love, it can't quite find its grasp. Hot and cold, light and dark. I'm happy that the poem ended on a petal of love, even though this may be behind the view of dreams. I really enjoyed this, and its beautiful imagery.

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks LouBelle! thank you very much for taking time and for your encouraging review .. i am happy that you enjoyed it ... i had fun working it out ... and it felt "right" when i posted it .. but having others enjoy the experience is what its all about after all .. ain't it!? ;) love and happiness my friend
E.

[Laura Kate]

Absolutely, that's why we do it... ain't it?! :)))

[Einstein Noodle]

yep :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Cherrie]

I like the way you alway lead the reader. The quick and easy banter, of pairing moments within the day to emotions.

[Einstein Noodle]

hey kiddo :) i was just on my way to read another chapter of your book ... thanks for stopping to read and review ... tickles me innards even more so as we have met in person ... when I am done I intend to visit FB and visit that poetry group .. thanks ever so much for our long friendship here and now in our magical Ozark Mountains as well ... love and peace
E.

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

I love this I laughed and smiled
but I had to look you up because
writers cafe said your account
didn't exist I was like that isn't
correct so I had fun with that
haha...

But here we are
I found you once again
my friend and I haven't
been on here in awhile
and I have new poems
just been too tired to
post anything.

I hope you and
your family is well 😊👍



she loves me -
darkly dawn into grey
oak limbs creak awake the day
slightest light blinding
she loves me not -
saffron crocus spreads
mirage horizon blazes
pink and orange collide
she loves me -
mismatch of color
intoxicating wonder
clematis climbing

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks for stopping Benita! yeah! i'm still here .. i love this place! so many wonderful art to read and artists to get to know ;) thank you for hanging in and re-finding me ... not sure what glitch may have caused that .. we are happy and well here in the Ozarks .. have not had to change my life style much at all as i am content to be home most of the time anyway ... peace and safety