"The Line" in collaboration with Sleepless Volcano and editing by Richard

"The Line" in collaboration with Sleepless Volcano and editing by Richard

A Poem by Einstein Noodle
"

an English Sonnet

"



The Line


Drawn there in rows, they wait on news to come;

the kids play hide-and-seek, while parents paced.

Is no one there to beat their silent drum?   

So thick the dread, all hope is soon erased.


A shout collides on empty space today,

with steel resolve for havens not their own.

A mother gives her babe to thieves in pay,

foul reaping fruits fermenting sin thus sown.


Now, strangers' hands are raised in muted cries,

demanding place to have in have nots' angst.

The child reveals his wide, bewildered eyes,

a light that hopes to shine upon their ranks.


Although the lines are muddied down through time;

alone, a child will pay for all this crime.

© 2019 Einstein Noodle


Author's Note

Einstein Noodle

My Review

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Featured Review

To be honest, my main complaint about sonnets is that they are usually too fluffy in content. It's like poets are concentrating on nailing the form, but the message is often lukewarm romantic tripe that sounds like every other sonnet. Well, let me tell ya, this sonnet does NOT suffer that malady! You have something to say & you say it with such powerful intensity, the reader is completely forgetting to look at whatever traces of "sonnet" might be there to inspect & admire! This is a great poem & I congratulate you all on your poetic efforts & for having such heart (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

oh my goodness dear barley!! how you have made this effort more than worth it .. i agree completely .. read more



Reviews

And that line is indeed a thin one as we sit in our safe havens thinking we are immune. Such a sad snapshop of part of our sad world as people flee towards us seeking a better life. A precise sonnet and one that says more than I love you, I love you, I love you!

Posted 5 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

God bless John! your sensitivity touches me ol' heart sir! thank you so much for all the support you.. read more
A powerfully emotional write. The collaboration is so good it is impossible to tell who wrote which lines...seamless. Yes, the children suffer and no matter which side of the political fence one is on, that is sad. Lydi**

Posted 5 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

yes it is :( thank you for reviewing .. i am super happy that the non-political is evident .. and a .. read more
Lydia Shutter

5 Years Ago

So many years...and good ones they have been, E. May we read each other for many more.
Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

yes indeed Lydia! many many!! love on ya girl! :)
nicely nicely done such a these times reference in a past times tone makes for a very interesting read with an extra AHA! punch at the end! Cant say I was ready for this one hit me completely by surprise! what a gem of a write guys A big Bunny fedora wave to you folks! This has everything I love most in it rhyme and rhythm and awesome content with an excellent exclamation point ending.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

wow! the big Bunny fedora wave!!!!! what greater honor i can not imagine sir :) thanks s o much for .. read more
This really puts political agendas in perspective... no matter the stance we take on an issue like this, we can't deny its usually the children who pay the heaviest price! Bravo on the collective effort!

Posted 5 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

thanks Travis .. appreciate your reviewing .. i think you are absolutely right about the downfall of.. read more
and YOU finally did it!! wohooo! congratulations dear E! I was seeing Your poem here and there and was aiming to come and read it, but didn't know it was a Sonnet what a surprise! one thing You and Sleepless Volcano surely did, making the Sonnet seems easy, simple and smooth, and when I say this I mean it in the good way, many times You may read a sonnet and get the complicated complex feelings, and here I don't feel ANY! well done both of You, You and him with no doubt collaborate excellently, I don't feel two in this one, I feel one person, one pen! warm and happy congratulations for both of You~~

Posted 5 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

i know!!! he needs to see what became of his idea! ;) i will look back and send them to ya asap!
Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

i know!!! he needs to see what became of his idea! ;) i will look back and send them to ya asap!
Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

this is the first one we did together ;)
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/rIGt2mAk3/1513084.. read more
Intriguing write, to say the least.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

Hi Aurora! I am not sure we have met before?? Thank you for reading and commenting .. always an hono.. read more
Always the children.
Twenty first century, not a lot has changed.
Actually, free movement has probably exasperated the vile trade.
Great collab.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Paul Bell

5 Years Ago

Free movement is definitely not working, sooner we're out the better.
Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

;) ......................
Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

ps. i miss read your comment sir! a brain fart as they say .. i glossed right over "exasperated" :}
Gene,
You and SleeplessVolcano said a mouthful here for the ongoing atrocities and unfortunate fate of our neighbors from south-of-the-border, and for our country, as-well.
Sometime, somehow, there is great hope for a beneficial solution on the horizon to make things right and just for all.
Beautiful sonneteering, you two -- virtually spot-on in every aspect of proper poeting. Bring your heroic couplet into conformity with the rest of your lines and verses, and it will be literally spot-on … music's perfect!!!
Thank you ever-so gratefully for the honorable mention of my name, but there was little left for me to "edit". : )

Thank you graciously for composing in this powerful form for our pleasure and awe.
I would hope more will be inspired by your efforts to learn and compose in the wonderfully amazing Sonnet! ⁓ Richard 🍃

Posted 5 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

is it the first line of the couplet and rhythm you are referring too?? or plainness of the second li.. read more
Richard🖌

5 Years Ago

I'm referring to your Heroic Couplet (last two lines in your poem) being a size smaller than the res.. read more
Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

ahhhhhhh i will make those changes sir! thanks again! :)))
To be honest, my main complaint about sonnets is that they are usually too fluffy in content. It's like poets are concentrating on nailing the form, but the message is often lukewarm romantic tripe that sounds like every other sonnet. Well, let me tell ya, this sonnet does NOT suffer that malady! You have something to say & you say it with such powerful intensity, the reader is completely forgetting to look at whatever traces of "sonnet" might be there to inspect & admire! This is a great poem & I congratulate you all on your poetic efforts & for having such heart (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

oh my goodness dear barley!! how you have made this effort more than worth it .. i agree completely .. read more
Which is the more important point here, its tragic content or the form in which it's written? Pausing - because this needs the thought two first-class writers have seamlessly used in achieving a goal. Can but congratulate you both for using academic skill yet, highlighting a modern horror for which there should be global and eternal disgust.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

thank you emmajoy! i appreciate your reviewing always ... sonnets are work for me ..and so i am pret.. read more

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Added on June 3, 2019
Last Updated on June 13, 2019

Author

Einstein Noodle
Einstein Noodle

Pork Rind, AK



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