The Deep

this is a lipogram i wrote for a class (same class the cinquaine was written for) the lipogram, for those who are unfamiliar with, is a poem using one vowel only. i chose "E"

"The Deep"

The endless Ether

left deep clefts                                        

heed me

keep knees free

                                     enter the descent

                                                                     Hell's decree bends the rent

See me!?

Steep we creep

Spent.

Endless Ether we flee

11/28/2018

E.

Author's Note

I struggled to have a theme ... would really like to know if you have a sense of one .. :}

Reviews

[AYVID]

It’s a different kind of creative joy when we are able to produce worthwhile expression within the limitation of format and structure. For me that’s the supreme kind of satisfaction. I read the endless twists, turns and bends as we navigate, crawl, hurtle through the all pervading ether to our ordained ends. Appreciated very much, E 💕

[Einstein Noodle]

yes...that is so "it" my friend .. i was worried about theme coming through but the reviews seem to indicate it does ..and especially yours, Divya ..you wrapped it all up in a nutshell ..i sure appreciate your sensitivity and the time you took here to review ..i am encouraged ;) glad you enjoyed reading and pondering with me
E.

[AYVID]

You must be encouraged if the result is such interesting poetry ;)
Thank you E, it is a pleasure to exchange thoughts on writing, a passion, an obsession but such a positive one for us 💕

[Einstein Noodle]

yes it is Divya .. truly an honor and pleasure ..its a bit after 1 AM here ..so i say ...top o' the mahrnin' to ya! ;) hugs!

[AYVID]

Oh bedtime then! :)
GoodMorning hugs! And do grab a bit of sleep :))))

[Einstein Noodle]

headed that way now ;)

[AYVID]

.......😉☺️😊.......

[Fran Marie]

An impressive piece so precisely penned..may have to try this form later on..an apt title for this intense verse..I so like the hell's decent..and the ether effect within your verse..nice Work

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks Fran...i'm happy you took the ride ;) it was a challenge for sure ... the limiting forces write and re-write for me ...please let me know when you get one posted ...
E.

[Island Hippy]

Aloha E, so incredibly clever as is the form and narrative. There is a street type quality - dark & punchy word choices, even within this style which makes it even more impressive. I really like this and the song seems so very fitting - what a great choice. Mahalo, Izzy.

[Einstein Noodle]

Aloha dear Hippy!!! :) thank you for mentioning the song too! I appreciate that! it is a dificult form to use and still make some sense form it ..i really am encouraged by your sensing the street in this and the darkness ... two important elements to getting something out of it ... Thanks Island!!
E.

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Wow you muse in sublime rhyme scheme here. Impressive format as well. It reads in great rhythm and intent. Kudos.

Soo nice to read from your inking again, pleez do comment/add your thoughts/ review my newest poem too. I like saying hi to poets and poetry.

[Einstein Noodle]

nice to meet you S .... i will definitely stop by your pages too!
E.

[CyranoDBergeron]

F*****g awesome. I think youre really close to a solid narrative. It looks like fun. Gonna try it tonight or tomorrow!

[Einstein Noodle]

hey Cyrano!! what a treat to have your visit ... and nice to meet you .... i feel pretty gratified by your response ... and much encouraged .. thank you for letting me know ... have fun with the lipogram! for me it was not easy ... one that required many rewrites until i thought if i do more i will loose it entirely ;) see you on the flip side
E.

[CyranoDBergeron]

Lol. Yeah I tried it last night with O. It was hard. You lose all your prepositions. So a solid narrative is really hard.

But its a great exercise

[Einstein Noodle]

i agree ... worth the effort :)

[h d e rushin]

ether, the rarer regions of space is also what the poets of the 18th century wrote about exponentially. In fact it took another 200 years before man could write a love poem about his or her emotions. And readers could grasp those references and believe them....great poem....dana

[Einstein Noodle]

wow! that's a rich history isn't it ... especially how long it took to be "proper" to write about emotions ..thanks dana!! and thank you for reading and reviewing ... we keep on learning that way eh!? love an peace friend!
E.

[Mrudula Rani]

Writing a lipogram is truly a practice in discipline and good taste.
At the same time such a struggle, not to use words that you find irresistible.
With your poems ( for your on line class) you are teaching me wonderful new lessons.

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks for reviewing Mrudula! i appreciate your time taken ... yes! the classes are inspiring and they do stretch me ... the one this came from is through https://www.coursera.org/ if you care to check them out... they are free unless you want a certificate.
E.

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you E. At the moment i have very little free time. But the course sounds very interesting and I am glad you are having wonderful time with the course, I am looking forward to your next assignment. .

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks! you are very kind. :)

[Stella Armour]

Now this is clever and different, a anew form to me i must admit and wonderfully done :)

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks Stella ... I just finished the class this one was used in ... its a free basic class on poetry but stretched me for sure. glad you enjoyed the read!
E.

[Sami Khalil]

E for vowels and for entertainment. I knew you possess many talents and disciplines, i.e. E for example.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahahahha :))))))))))))))))))) your review puts a big smile on me face sir! thank you!!!
E.

[Sami Khalil]

Hahaha. You are welcome...

[Dara]

Very deep and poignant write, here. To be able to do that and stay within the confines of the structure is simply amazing to me. The thought process behind it is intriguing knowing that there was a certain amount of time assigned to come up with just the right words. A great way to start my Monday with!

[Einstein Noodle]

your comments bless me Dara...thank you so much for reviewing this one ... it was challenging and rewarding ... give it a go Dara ... you may be surprised as I was/am ;)
E.

[Dara]

Thank you, I think I might have a go at it. Will let you know if I do :-) Yours will inspire me to do so.

[wordman]

pretty clever my friend,,liked it

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks for reading wordman! and letting me know your thoughts ... so glad you like it ... it wasn't easy for this shriveling noodle ;))))

[wordman]

lol,it ain't easy for any of us

[Einstein Noodle]

;) ...................