The Deep

this is a lipogram i wrote for a class (same class the cinquaine was written for) the lipogram, for those who are unfamiliar with, is a poem using one vowel only. i chose "E"

"The Deep"

The endless Ether

left deep clefts                                        

heed me

keep knees free

                                     enter the descent

                                                                     Hell's decree bends the rent

See me!?

Steep we creep

Spent.

Endless Ether we flee

11/28/2018

E.

Author's Note

I struggled to have a theme ... would really like to know if you have a sense of one .. :}

Reviews

[AYVID N]

It’s a different kind of creative joy when we are able to produce worthwhile expression within the limitation of format and structure. For me that’s the supreme kind of satisfaction. I read the endless twists, turns and bends as we navigate, crawl, hurtle through the all pervading ether to our ordained ends. Appreciated very much, E 💕

[Einstein Noodle]

yes...that is so "it" my friend .. i was worried about theme coming through but the reviews seem to indicate it does ..and especially yours, Divya ..you wrapped it all up in a nutshell ..i sure appreciate your sensitivity and the time you took here to review ..i am encouraged ;) glad you enjoyed reading and pondering with me
E.

[AYVID N]

You must be encouraged if the result is such interesting poetry ;)
Thank you E, it is a pleasure to exchange thoughts on writing, a passion, an obsession but such a positive one for us 💕

[Einstein Noodle]

yes it is Divya .. truly an honor and pleasure ..its a bit after 1 AM here ..so i say ...top o' the mahrnin' to ya! ;) hugs!

[AYVID N]

Oh bedtime then! :)
GoodMorning hugs! And do grab a bit of sleep :))))

[Einstein Noodle]

headed that way now ;)

[AYVID N]

.......😉☺️😊.......

[lizardbrain]

Wow! very impressed with the picture you've portrayed within this poetic format.. and thanks for teaching me a new form! i'll have to give it a go.

[Einstein Noodle]

oh my goodness lizard! i hope it doesn't curse you :) not easy for me at all ... for a free verse person i think this is right up there with the sonnet on my difficult and re-write scale ... thanks so much for reading and letting me know your thoughts on it ... peace and joy!
E.

[lizardbrain]

it might force me to give at least a modicum of thought and revision to my poems that they currently lack ;)

[kitty]

I fear any sort of descent ~ especially into the unknown. Get the feeling of a fearful potholer ~ the fealr of being trapped! Your piece though short tells a lot! Cleverly put.

[Einstein Noodle]

hey kitty! thanks for checking this one out ... i feel pretty gratified all those things came across to you ... thanks for braving the descent ;) you are spot on my friend!
E.

[kitty]

The extraordinary is always a fascinating subject. We wonder too about the supernatural!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This is clever and witty and yet........................................................Enjoyed it but simply too difficult to emulate!

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks always for your time John ... sure appreciate it ... not an easy form for sure ... would not have even been aware of it where it not for the class i took ... thanks again for reviewing my friend! peace and joy!
E.

[Robert Trakofler]

This is fun i must try doing one of these when my brain is functioning properly.. (once or twice a month me thinks) death waits for no man nor bunny my friend :) and in my case he visits quite often:( brilliantly composed as usual. thanks for the thought food!

[Einstein Noodle]

its (death) a faithful and constant companion isn't it ;) ...at any age :( ... the form was definitely a challenge for me .. but a good one ... wresting out a theme was what had me doing all the revisions ...thanks for stopping by sir! peace and joy to ya
E.

[Lorry]

Firstly, since I came across your cinquain, I have got addicted and filled half a notebook. So I guess that this will be what the other half is for, but I doubt I will be anywhere near as sucesful as your amazing mind.This is just so good and original, that im beginning to doubt I am awake...i certainly wont be tonighy as I crumple page after page in a vain effort to emulate your excellence.

[Einstein Noodle]

flattery will get you everywhere my friend ;) ..but..seriously ..thank you so much for this generous review ..it is a form not easy for me for sure ... much re-write revise and then again .. sorry the cinquaine stuck in your head like a tune one doesn't like ...but good on ya for exercising it so ... :) i look forward to you posting one or two ..going to stop by your streets to see if i missed any ...peace and joy brother .. and thanks again for taking time here
E.

[Lorry]

You're welcome. Think i'll stick to a collection of my favourites, but might be a while as I will dither on what makes the cut.
Perhaps a top five, that way I can call it 5x5 :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Wonderful use of words. Each line with reason and a purpose. If we dance with the devil. The devil shall lead. Thank you Einstein for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Einstein Noodle]

yes Coyote Man! we do not win taking on the devil ... once engaged we already lost :( then the shame, fear, guilt, anxiety locks us up ... a bit of the devils fun ... a taste of hell on earth perhaps .... thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts sir! top o' the mahrnin' to ya!
E.

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked this poem and you are welcome my friend.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear E... a beautiful Concerto of love in the waking and falling deeper in love. The clefts of romance are symbols of composing a dream come true. As ever, Pat

[Einstein Noodle]

oh Pat! i love your review ...yes..the love bug is all you say isn't it ... our poetic minds and hearts are full of it eh!?

[Patricia Wedel]

Yes... romance is the rising of the Sun like honey on a bun... sweet and content ...

[barleygirl]

The thing I like most about your poem is how you use double-e words quite a bit. Not sure if this qualifies as a theme, but if this were a song, this would certainly be your sweet note "eeeeee"! *smile* I admire you for seeking further knowledge & practice & community, in regards to your writing. You have a strong sense of community, when it comes to your approach to writing! *smile* Fondly, Margie

[Einstein Noodle]

well Ms. Barley ... at least reading did not drive you screeming eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek into the mire ;) i know you are a well grounded girl and so i appreciate you taking time with this one ... it is certainly abstract and multi-layered and many meanings can be drawn ... i think it is very sensitive of you to divine that sense of community ... i had not thought about it in writing this one but it is certainly true about me ... tho i am a classic introvert ... that sense of being and in community is with me always ... like our experiences with our furries ;) that same sense is in you my friend or you would not "see" it in me ... i love you attentions .... they always make me happy to know you .... right here at the Cafe'
:)
E.

[barleygirl]

I am sitting at my computer with the lazy sun just barely clearing the ridge finally, to spill some warmth on my back thru the window. And your words do the same on my front side! *wink! wink!* Like a sweet splash of Bailey's Irish Cream in my coffee . . . speaking of which . . . I think I need another cup to ward off this chill!

[Einstein Noodle]

awwwwwwwww .... i like the front ;) and some Bailey's ... its a golden moment with the sun on your back ... hugs and Happy Happy New Year my friend!

[Tamara Beryl Latham]

Wow! This is thought-provoking. I read it a few times and it reminded me of our existence from cradle to grave, although that may not have been your intent.

I was reading where you reference increasing your vocabulary to stave off Alzheimer's and I recently found that coconut oil helps with this condition. Check it out! I take coconut oil capsules.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahaha no ...have not heard of coconut oil ... would it work better if i rub it into me noodle? ... just kidding ... i will look into that ... i like and eat coconut from time to time ... but don't like to take much in the way of supplements .. though i know they can be very good for a person ... my referencing Alzheimer's is an attempt at a bit of humor on myself .. not suffering from it at this time ... and not meant to be disrespectful either ... i was care giver for me Ma as she slowly declined to the illness ... we were so fortunate to care for her over about 10 yrs in our home with the last year in Hospice care .. it was difficult but extremely rewarding as i think back on it ... glad you enjoyed the poem and i like your take on it ... its pretty abstract ;} thanks again for taking time Tamara ... much appreciate it
E.

[Tamara Beryl Latham]

No, just take the capsules. Check out the information on Alzheimer's and coconut oil on google.
read moreNo, just take the capsules. Check out the information on Alzheimer's and coconut oil on google.

Happy New Year.

[Einstein Noodle]

i will.... thanks Tamara!!

[Tamara Beryl Latham]

Happy New Year!

[Chris Shaw]

So creative Mr E. The layout of your words really enhanced the feelings I got when reading them. I felt I was taking downward steps into the unknown. Lipograms look very challenging to me. Just using one vowel must have taken some creative thinking. Not sure I would be up to this task. All good wishes.

Chris

[Einstein Noodle]

it was certainly challenging ...trying to come up with something more than just words and a vowel ;) i'm sure you would create something surprising and wonderful yourself