A Winter Poem

Cinquain: poem of 5 lines with syllabic counts of 2, 4, 6, 8 and 2 respectively.... the captcha for this one is "plainish" :))))))))) gotta love it right?!

My snow

December's moon

Beleaguering too soon

the hearth that holds a fiery heat

now cold

E.

11/12/2018

Author's Note

this is a poem i submitted for an on-line poetry class ... (for beginners) ;) and this is the first Cinquaine i have written

Reviews

[Intothemilkyway]

This is so beautiful. A very nice poem just right for beginners who want to try writing a poem.
I loved how you used simple words but in the middle you added some nice adjective which goes so well with this short poem.
I like it, short and straight to the point.
It shows that once summer goes everything becomes dark , white and mostly dead but with a little vitality.
Not everyone likes winter and so we all wait for those little sunny days of spring and summer when we are the most happiest.

But overall winter has it's own beauty just like it's shown in this poem.

[Einstein Noodle]

i am so grateful your review brought me back to this one ... glad that you note the form ... if we can be allowed .. i am particularly happy with this poem .. and so doubly glad you decided to read it and leave your impressions .. which have great value says i! thanks so much my new friend! peace on Earth!
E.

[gram linski]

Great piece, never mind Cinquaine, how about Cinqestrellas

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha Cinqestrellas ..... wasn't she the maid that went to a ball ???? ;) glad you found this one gram ... thanks so much for taking time and reviewing .. joy and peace sir!
E.

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

I'm not too good at this
but I love to read new
forms of poems with you.

Cheers 😊 my friend

[Einstein Noodle]

same here Benita! but i like to be challenged by form and tradition ... it helps broaden and deepen my natural inclination to free verse and abstract thought ... which can be useless due to no one knowing what the heck i may be talking about ;)))))))))) so happy to have your visit ma'am ..top o' the mahrnin' to ya!
E.

[Richard🖌]

What a fine effort, Gene!
Spot-on syllable-counts, great imagery, flow, and the theme is held throughout … good stuff! : )
Though, rhyme is not required for this form, your two line rhyme lends an interesting touch.
"My" snow infers a personal theme, which allows the reader leeway in interpreting this piece as metaphorically about human inference, or about Nature, with the snow being yours in your yard/land, etc.

I like this very much, and for your first Cinquain it's excellent, indeed … thanks for the deeelightful treat, buddy! ⁓ Richard 🍃
A+

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks Richard :) the way you point things out really helps ... yes ... human and/or Nature ;)))))))))
E.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Final attempt. For now!

The Meaning of Life

Deep breaths
as we hold on,
embrace the will to live,
dance with joy at simply being
alive!

29/01/19

[Einstein Noodle]

i think i like this one the most my friend .. the breath, the dance, the embrace of "being" .. wonderfully philosophical ... and mystical at the same time ... thanks so much for sharing them here sir ... i agonized over one and put the form away ... in the forget it drawer .. you have inspired me to move it to the haiku and senryu drawer ... one that does not get used routinely .. but every now and again ;) peace on ya sir!
E.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thanks 'E' I do like to try new forms so thank you for the inspiration. Will post them properly.

[Einstein Noodle]

:) ..................

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Second attempt. Might get it sometime!

Embrace

Feel me
and hold me close,
enough to feel you breathe,
to know what lays with a heart
of gold.

29/01/19

[Einstein Noodle]

L4 needs a syllable ..prhaps you meant to write "within" instead of "with" ???? the story of love's expressions ... the bones of poetry eh!?
E.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Yes thanks 'E', I had seen it and amended it and you were spot on!

[Einstein Noodle]

;) ..................

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Not sure I have nailed it?

Dream

If I
could only feel
your sweet kiss on my lips,
then I would be a happy man,
always.

29/01/19

[Einstein Noodle]

by george i think yee've gottit! this is a "Dream" i am well aware of from me youth ... so many lovely lips to sip ;)
E.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed and now we take what we can from memories lol! Many thanks.

[Einstein Noodle]

yes...the memories ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Another novel technique and a pertinent topic indeed as we endure winter's tongue. Think I may try this one! Looks fun!

[Einstein Noodle]

spot on John!!! ;) I see you posted it above ... love on ya sir!
E.

[Kelly Scheppers]

However did I miss this? There you go again, sweeping me off my feet. I love it, Gene!

[Einstein Noodle]

awwwww and such lovely feet they are dear Legs ;))))))) you made my day with your favorable review dahlink ... peace and joy and hugs

[An owl on the moon]

I am always in awe that five lines can speak a whole story of a world. Here it is in cold contrasts with a memory of warmth and light. What a beautiful vision!

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks Owly! i appreciate your encouraging words .. the form was, for sure, a challenge for me ... had to do the work re-work thing quite a bit ..but worth the effort personally ... really glad the contrasts hit you .. very gratifying sir! peace and joy ... and eternal warm fires in your hearth ;)
E.