The Omen; Not the Movie

a collaboration between Mattevelli and Einstein Noodle

I chose the place and yet
My freedom is not met.
An omen moved next door you see;
Chagrined the hope in me

He seemed alright at first,
but life's become the worst.
That morning music shreds my dreams
and drowns exhausted screams.

And when I leave for work,
I offer him a smirk.
He walks his dog on my side lawn
and waves, with no clothes on.

the garbage piling high'r,
I wish his funeral pyre.
I never get such luck in life,
here comes ten kids and wife.

The look of them all ten,
presumed a brooding hen,
but she was more up top than that.
I looked and looked again.

The diesel fumes explode
from trucks and cars and pets.
the worst of it remains undone
the relatives have come

I lay awake all night,
nightmarish dreams and fright
along with crashing breaking sounds;
now stench of green abounds

The mower that I'd lent
returned with a wheel bent.
And that same day my cat was shaved.
Who could be so depraved?

Those kids keep setting fires
and someone stole my tires.
I've set a chair with a clear view
to catch what next they'll do.

clattering trucks of
    fire    and opus
        deranged the climate of 
my scopus.
an omen moved in next door you see

with gaping mouth i stood
                            the gendarmes 

closing fast 
    batons ..........a' whirling
                                              twirling ......... whirling
damn they've come
for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Mattevelli and Einstein Noodle

Author's Note

Reviews

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Hahahaha- Help need an Exorcism here! Excellent, comedic collaboration between Mattevelli and Einstein Noodle. Demonic neighbors- oh no! The maniacal music, the sauntering with dog poop out of bounds- OMG! Eloquent, whimsical, clever verses with jaunty, infectious cadence and great rhyming. An ending to die for- “ damn they’ve come..for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” Superb!

[Einstein Noodle]

i feel rollicking reading your review .. thanks so much and so happy you enjoyed..neither of us have written much stuff on the lighter side so were both challenged ... so gratified you found it so Annette! thanks!
E.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

You are so welcome E! Maybe you’ve found a new niche?...:))

[Einstein Noodle]

:) .......................

[Patricia Wedel]

dear E... glad I read your collaboration... makes me thankful we have not met our neighbors. There are huge tall trees between our property... that are old Fir trees... so far we do as we please with the greatest of ease.
They have a dog they let out in the middle of the night that barks at the Moon. So glad you made me realize how lucky we really are. truly, Pat

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha ...we lived next door to a rental that was run into the ground by the tenants .. they were horrible .. even with our 8 foot hedge and our garage to block the view .. they were using drugs and traffic went in and out all day and night... they were finally removed and someone bought the place... really worked hard to fix it back up.. new doors, windows paint etc. ... we were so happy not to be thinking of what was there... however .. after a year or so a newscaster knocked on our door asking what we thought of the big drug bust next door ... we had no idea what had occurred ... in our very small town our "new" neighbors were a big cog in a meth ring ... apparently multiple police units converged on the place and arrested everyone .. we had no idea ;} one never knows eh!? thanks for finding this one .. it was cool working with Mattevelli ..neither of us does much humorous poetry so thats what we decided to do ... thank goodness for Fir trees eh!?
oh!........ we moved to a cabin in the mountains ...can only see a couple neighbors when the trees drop leaves ;)

[Carola]

😀 😆 neighbours from hell !!! i think most of us experience a family of those at one point in our lives.
i currently have a neighbour who hates cleaning her pool so she took us to court to chop down our fence line trees.

your poem is a fun read, lovely rhyme & i enjoyed it very much.

[Einstein Noodle]

oh my goodness ... i hope she did not win ... the rules are pretty clear about trees and shrubs and fence lines ..i am surprised it made it to court >;/
so glad you found this one ... and brought me back to it with your reviewing ..Matavelli and I both don't do much humor in our "stuff" and so decided it would be fun to collab on it and see what happens ... we are also political opposites so it was a very healthy exercise in real time ;) thanks for taking time my new found friend! see you around the block ;))))))))
E.

[Carola]

yes unfortunately the woman had a partial win she wanted 5 trees down but 3 were approved, but so far she has not signed her part of the 'deed of settlement'. go figure that out, & this was back in may or june.
she started the original court case in january 2014, we won her first application, then we won her appeal.
because she was very annoyed at her two losses she then filed for a 2nd application which they accepted. had the new (idiot) tribunal member bothered to read all our responses to all her fictitious claims, i'm sure it would've been refused, but he didn't bother to read them, he said so.
so instead, he ordered a compulsory mediation conference where we were both in separate rooms, with the mediator & our lawyer both running back & forth between the 2 rooms !!
anyway whilst she has not signed the settlement the trees stay - they are about 80 -100 feet tall & have been in place for about 20 or so years & she has lived with them for that length of time ! previous house owners planted our trees.
i intend to write in & complain about the tribunal member, just wanting to get the case closed, with all her fiction & lies i don't think it's fair.

[Einstein Noodle]

not only does it not sound fair; but some kind of mean insanity ... they must be magnificent trees ... she is a thorn in the side eh!? sorry you are going through this dragged out neighbor episode .. and the sad thing is that no matter how the end is.... most likely two neighbors will never talk again.... but sounds like in this case .. that is a good thing ;}

[Island Hippy]

Oh those neighbors haha! This is brilliant, light and a lot of fun to read. Easy rhyming and flow! Never had neighbors quite that bad but can empathise with the lawn mower situation. Many mahalo.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha! so glad for your reviews always hippy girl! thank you! i have been very lucky with neighbors in my life ... closest one was around the corner and two homes down ..and they didn't last very long ... if the birds were chirping they complained about the noise ... they thought because it is a small town they could retire there with everything their way .. our town was filled with young families and lots of kids .. who ran around relatively safe .. and made "noises" ;) that was long ago tho ... i like your new avatar ...is that you and yours?

[Island Hippy]

Haha, then there’s those neighbours too! When I was first married we lived in San Diego and it was such a shock to live in what felt like a very crowded space. Compared to village living in Hawaii, but I have to say I loved the color and how culturally vibrant it felt. Mahalo, ae that’s my lad Kalani and I, he was about 7 months then he’s 10 months now. Lovely to chat E x

[Einstein Noodle]

he's a cutie! i worked as a travel nurse and was in San Diego for a while ... great place! i was surprised at how clean it seemed...for such a big place ... and more than once i saw coyotes run across the road while i was on my way to work ..

[Cherrie]

HA!# this was great. What fun, loved the meter the poem seemed to pick up speed as we barreled down the lane. Just awesome. Reminds me why I live out of town.

[Einstein Noodle]

glad you had fun reading..we tried to stick to a type of hymn verse and have it kind of fall apart at the end.... i learned in a class its kind of what Emily Dickinson did with poems in the vanguard of Modernist changes ... cool fun to work with Mattevelli ... thank you for taking time Cherrie! peace, love and joy!
E.

[wordman]

lol,i wondered who lived next door to me

[Einstein Noodle]

you recognized them eh!? :)))) thanks for taking time and having a bit of a chuckle with us wordman!
E.

[wordman]

i was talking about me living next door

[Einstein Noodle]

ohhhhhh! :) so your the galoot! clean up that damn driveway sir!!! ;)

[wordman]

leaf blower broke,can`t bend my back,lol

[Einstein Noodle]

:) .....................

[The Iron Horseman]

Don't you just love those kind of neighbours? :)
This is a great bit of lighthearted craziness. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks for the smile.

[Einstein Noodle]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa not really Sir Iron Horseman! .... ;) so glad you enjoyed our bit of fun... neither of us much good at humorous poetry we decided to help each other get one out here...i feel gratified it gave your a chuckle ... top o' the mahrnin' to ya!
E.

[The Iron Horseman]

My pleasure.
What, Saint Paddy's day got ya? I don't think there are any noodles in Irish Stew! :D

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha nope..nary a one ..and it was corned beef and cabbage this year for us ..and a fine amount of potato of course! Mulligan Stew next year ;) stop on by if you have a hankering to! :)

[The Iron Horseman]

Thanks for the invitation - I'll bring the green beer!

[Einstein Noodle]

:) ...................

[KWP]

:D this is different for you E - what a nice fun collaboration between you guys ... lighthearted. The little story within suit the rhyme and rhythm. Got a good vision of a shaved cat - so glad it wasn't one of the doggies X

[Einstein Noodle]

yes...very different and a challenge for me ma'am... Mattevelli is a form guy and also not that inclined to humor...so we had to work on this a bit ..glad you got its lighthearted aspect ...yeah...no doggies damaged nor endangered ;))) thanks for reviewing dear friend
E.

[Rita L. Sev]

Having had difficult neighbors - and received bad omens - this is truly a terrifying thought! A great rhythmic piece!

[Einstein Noodle]

yes...could be for sure ... but don't worry too much Rita...the cops will come and take YOU to jail .. not them ..and you will have three squares a day .. meals and walls arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! :)
E.

[Coyote Poetry]

Bad neighbors. Can be a real bear. Your description made me see and believe the terror of the new people. I liked the ending. A amazing poem shared my friend.
Coyote

[Einstein Noodle]

trying for some humor in it all..glad you enjoyed Coyote Man! peace love and flowers to ya!
E.

[Coyote Poetry]

You did well. I enjoyed this one.