Alone

do take the time to watch the dance video ..it is so cool...says i! ;)

 Peering

The pair pirouettes on

                                  the pier.

The lightning wasn't quite right

             

they

couldn't quite focus on point.

I am not sure what happened to them.

They just kept spinning 

on their own

in the mist.

                      Alone

10/15/2017

E

Author's Note

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

I wandered the words slowly, with the music playing. How beautifully painful it seemed, with the shadows of the dance all around them, the spinning, the movement, yet somehow disconnected. Together and yet alone. Breathtaking.

[Einstein Noodle]

God bless you my friend...so gratified you played the music and watched the dance as well ... really happy you enjoyed that whole experience ..thank you so much my friend!!!
E.

[An owl on the moon]

It's always a joy to visit your world, my friend. Always! :)

[Moonie]

I like how the last word adds more depth to the poem, makes us focus on their relationship...they seem so happy, pirouetting and dancing, but even when together, each of them can't help but feel lonely...

[Einstein Noodle]

yep! it was a last thought to repeat the title in closing ... sometimes it works and sometimes not .. thank you for pointing it out ... i kind of like it that way as well ;) your review reflects your sensitivity Moon ... thats exactly what i am trying to convey
E.

[wordman]

it all blended well,enjoyed the read

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks wordman ..did you get a chance to watch the video? its pretty cool i think ... you might enjoy it too.
E.

[wordman]

i did watch it

[wordman]

well i did see it,and yes it is pretty cool my friend

[Einstein Noodle]

:) ...............

[CookieMisfit1969]

Wow, how can few words delicately paint moving pictures in the reader's mind? I love it. Keep up! :)

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks Cookie! nice to meet you! '69 was a very good year ;) glad you enjoyed the dance ... i will stop by your place soon
E.

[CookieMisfit1969]

You're always welcome around here :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A lovely, flowing dance of a piece that uses such atmosphere to create an image in so few words. Sublimely done fellow says I!

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahaha thank you says i! glad you enjoyed the read ... your review gave me a fine chuckle for the morning ..
E.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Forgot points! Now they’re in at 100! :)

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Great alliteration, original form, lovely flow- lines dropping off like dancers dropping off the pier into the mist...hauntingly beautiful imagery of each dancer isolated- not making contact. “The lighting wasn’t quite right”- yes, relationship out of focus. Just..can’t..connect.. Great poem E.!

[Einstein Noodle]

so glad you saw the scene and felt it ..most appreciated Annette! ... and thank you for the points .. i don't pay much attention to them but when someone is inspired to give them it is very encouraging .. thanks so much!
E.

[Neville]

What a wonderful series of images you have conjured up for me....Perpetual motion, wrapped in mist, super. Thank you E N

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you so much Neville ... so happy the conjuring worked for you ... i feel pretty gratified my friend .. and encouraged ..so thank you again!
E.

[Neville]

My pleasure mate

[Paul Bell]

Adulation, and i suppose, consolation. Not very good bedfellows. But life is like that. Every great dancer needs a lesser dancer to make them shine.

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you for taking time Paul! i had not thought of one of the dancers being lesser ... but certainly true is one thinks about it ... i am probably having false memories but i think it was Mohamed Ali that said in an interview later in his career that the one that will beat you is out there ... "i just haven't met him yet" ;) have a great day sir!
E.

[AYVID N]

A sad poem, profound and deep. Indeed when the lightning isn't right, they'll just keep spinning in the mist on their own, alone. Its a lonely future, a charade for the two. Loved it!

[Einstein Noodle]

exactly my friend...thank you so much for your read and review ... so happy the emptiness came through :)
E.