There are number of lines here that I don't like. Because I did not think of them first. This whole write takes the reader on an almost staccato development. Bouncing (as the format emphasises) from one thought pole, one concept to another and yet the whole is satisfying as far as structure is concened. Subject however is another matter entirely. I find the formost feeling I get it one of unease. I maybe way out there but I feel you do not intend the reader to walk away with a feeling of contentment. You wish to continue the thinking as perhaps the inner child, as some one else mentioned, does. In any event it is striking workmanship.
Beluga smile indeed.
Posted 8 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
yes .. definitely unease and a thinking thing:) i so appreciate your candid remarks .. and your visi.. read moreyes .. definitely unease and a thinking thing:) i so appreciate your candid remarks .. and your visit
E.
6 Years Ago
ps so glad you listened to and watched the video ;)))))))
The child's voice gets lost in the pounding gavel of decisions made on their behalf? That's what I'm getting out of this. Got me thinking again. And a little origami always gets my attention.
what a treat for me that you are walking my streets, William. Thanks so much! Yes! children's voices.. read morewhat a treat for me that you are walking my streets, William. Thanks so much! Yes! children's voices do get lost much of the time .. here at the Cafe' even insignificant (in the scheme of things) people like me can roar a little ;)))))))) .. thank you for appreciating the origami as well ..it's quite the art isn't it?! love and joy sir! love and joy.
E.
2 Years Ago
Very happy to walk your streets. I'm really into origami. I told paper. Billigami folds words. Are y.. read moreVery happy to walk your streets. I'm really into origami. I told paper. Billigami folds words. Are you into origami as well? Is that your model in the pic. I've been having difficulty posting pics but a couple of mine are there. If you see origami with one of my poems it's one of my sculptures.
2 Years Ago
no .. i have not gotton into it in such a way .. i liked the pic and thought it fit the poem ;) than.. read moreno .. i have not gotton into it in such a way .. i liked the pic and thought it fit the poem ;) thanks for the tip on your art in origami ..i will pay attention to that when reading your "stuff"
dear Gene... now that I read your poem again...
I think of how I learned to make an Origami hummingbird...
if you are successful you can flap the wings. Children
love that. truly, Pat
Posted 4 Years Ago
4 Years Ago
i'm tickled pink you brought me back to this one Pat ... thanks so much for searching me pages .. an.. read morei'm tickled pink you brought me back to this one Pat ... thanks so much for searching me pages .. and reading again! i am not surprised it is a hummingbird you recall making
Love the aliteration and the sombre tone in this one big 'E'
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
thanks so much John ... i triple appreciate you finding this one ... so glad you found it worth the .. read morethanks so much John ... i triple appreciate you finding this one ... so glad you found it worth the time and effort sir! yes.... somber issues makes for somber thoughts and feelings .. i had quite a bit of it when writing this ... thanks again John, for taking time to review
E.
You're too damn good for the rest of us to bear/bare/
dana
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
getattatown hd ... now your just jiving me ;) i'm tickled you liked this one .. small voices are goi.. read moregetattatown hd ... now your just jiving me ;) i'm tickled you liked this one .. small voices are going to take over the world one day eh....if we don't destroy them all first :(
E.
I believe that the child inside You is still alive like You are still a little child, free from pain, smiling to his simple toys... from the title, image to the video, all deeply emotionally touch my heart, and I feel You in each line of Your poem, sad... actually so sad, for once You wanted to back there, oh! I understand it! there is no need for all Your words to be understood by all, it's understood in our hearts, each of these "trite noises" does have the right, to live to dream, to be anything they want, even animals... and each small voice can reach over seas and up into the skies.... can make a difference in this world, just looking at that photo hurts my heart and bring me tears... yes, I also grew up watching Sesame Street...
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
i appreciate you taking time to look for this one...and for such an in depth reading and analysis .... read morei appreciate you taking time to look for this one...and for such an in depth reading and analysis ..those small voices need our support all the time don't they ... yes..it is a sad thing those voices are drowned in all our "adult" noise ;( so grateful for your visits Light
6 Years Ago
I'm happy that when I commnted back to Your review it appeared to the right page (Related Writings)... read moreI'm happy that when I commnted back to Your review it appeared to the right page (Related Writings)... and You are, most warmly welcome.
Brilliant! Your deeply moving poem and video brought me to tears E...our world has moved so far away from these ideals- so many voices ignored now. Your words are relevant and important. “Rights cast out to sea”- so true. I wish our President could read and watch this, but who am I kidding? He’d dismiss it as “fake news” anyway. Small voices must be supported and encouraged to be raised and heard. Kudos for your courage and your heart my friend!
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
hm not sure that he would Annette ....he has come out in favor of rights of the unborn .... and this.. read morehm not sure that he would Annette ....he has come out in favor of rights of the unborn .... and this is more a humanitarian commentary than political ... the system of balance of power created so many years ago works ..we do have minority leaders that assures all voices are heard ..the problem in my mind is all the divisives techniques applied to race, and social standing that goes on .. and actual hatred for a chosen President ... seething for having lost ... to me once the election is over ... we come together hammer out the differences and forge the best law and use responsible fiduciary action that stays in budget (money we actually have) and pay our debt ... congress has been feckless for decades if you ask me ... afraid of being called names and so do nothing ..pitiful! love your take on this one Annette .. it can be seen many ways as most poetry is ... so is life eh!? really appreciate your review ..stimulates me onward ;))
E.
This does it for me my friend on so many different levels. A real treat to consider at any time of day. Now one of my favourwrites for sure.....Cheers, Neville
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Neville ... thank you so much for finding this one and i am so gratified it had such a positive effe.. read moreNeville ... thank you so much for finding this one and i am so gratified it had such a positive effect on you... much gratitude my friend
E.
I agree with Ken Simm. I was in tears but was uneasy but very interesting to read different
I'm so emotional lately I weep and cry at anything that's sad or uneasy but I enjoyed reading it. Thank you. God bless my friend.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
hi Benita! so happy to see you found this one and reviewed ..sorry about your ups and downs as you r.. read morehi Benita! so happy to see you found this one and reviewed ..sorry about your ups and downs as you ride them out ... its ok to cry over nothing (seemingly) my wife and mother of our 4 children died at the age of 30 ...that loss touched and changed me deeply ... sometimes a TV commercial triggers the weeping .. over the years it happens less .. but its OK .. it has made me more compassionate and empathetic than i would have been .. love and big hugs my friend ... don't forget deep cleansing breaths ;)
E.
I'm sorry about your wife Thank you this is a lot more intense then I've felt with anything I've lo.. read moreI'm sorry about your wife Thank you this is a lot more intense then I've felt with anything I've lost ones to cancer and suicide I felt this way when I was heart broken by my Daddy because daddy was my first word I said as a baby I got hurt so bad I hated objects was in so much pain I prayed and wrote a lot but because of the pain I had a short fuse but was oddly enough still extremely serene and peaceful inside I never hurt others and my energy serene and peaceful it still is no matter what mood I'm in was because it was merely pain but I healed but it isn't my Daddy it's someone else I have to be around that's chipped away at my heart.
7 Years Ago
keeping you in my prayers Benita ... for comfort and assurance for peace and joy for health and heal.. read morekeeping you in my prayers Benita ... for comfort and assurance for peace and joy for health and healing always!
Sounds like a version of the People versus the Big Gov.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
sounds like we are on the same wave Kate! ;) thank you for reviewing .. have the greatest day ever!<.. read moresounds like we are on the same wave Kate! ;) thank you for reviewing .. have the greatest day ever!
E.
The paper tiger origami - an allusion to the U.N. perhaps.
The gavel of judgement will fall upon us all for collectively turning a deaf ear to the children's pleas.
Emotive necessary write E.
thanks Tony! i like you take on the UN .. i think the US has carried the financial burden for the UN.. read morethanks Tony! i like you take on the UN .. i think the US has carried the financial burden for the UN for wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too long .. they could get together to talk on a web site for far less .. and wouldn't have to wait for everyone to be there
E.
8 Years Ago
Well saving cash via webinars and virtual confs makes far too much sense to be adopted anytime soon .. read moreWell saving cash via webinars and virtual confs makes far too much sense to be adopted anytime soon mate!
Anyway it'll be message by drums and smoke signals if we end up back in the stone age.
Welcome E!
(sorry about the extra portion of pessimism lol)
This morning as I began to log in to WC, it occurred to me what an inspiring and comfortable place this has become for me.
There are so many talented people sharing, encouraging, teaching and learni.. more..