Father Nature -- a collaboration with Sleepless Volcano

Mother can't take all the credit now ... can She? :o

Father Nature

He stretched out owly after a night rent

tempestuously over indulgent

A carbon hangover clutching his heart

Footprints of greed wound his green shoots with darts

Ethereal mint mists wash carbon prints

wine sulfur,drunk raging presses the hint

Bloodied, his fists, as they beat in the sky

Now crimson, this life source, never will die

puce ore of the mountain shaping His jaw

shaking core shift plates he opens earths maw

Like ants, all life shrieks with blood, sweat and tears

Oyster-grey smoke giving birth to fresh fears

grind glacial brows unfurling earth shapers

lost, green life, buried under sky-scrapers

Despite the torment of stark, rough handling

up from his knees, our earth is still standing.

collab. with Sleepless Volcano 

9/18/16

 

"Birth of the New Man" by Salvador Dali....

Author's Note

Reviews

[barleygirl]

If I were to imagine a good fit for a collab, it would be you two & this proves it. You both have a similar way of presenting your thoughts & ideas with "out-there" nuance. I love the way you use "carbon" & other pollutants in such mind-bendingly creative ways. I love your artwork & your words conjure up a similar visualization of how father earth might be feeling with all humans' abuse heaped upon him! *eeeek!* (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Einstein Noodle]

your the best Barley Girl

[Delmar Cooper]

Resilient old earth, bless her heart. T'was I her I'd scratch our asses off my skin and have done with it.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha well .. the Law of Conservation of Mass states nothing created/nothing lost .. scratching us off the earth may not be the solution .. we'd just turn up somehow, somewhere ;) and it a He ..not a She .. it was Sleepless' idea to write about Father Earth .. at least give men a bit of time and recognition :))))))))))))))) thanks for stopping Delmar .. good to see you! this is an oldie .. thanks for looking back so far! i appreciate that sir!
E.

[Cherrie Palmer]

I don't know how I missed this. I enjoyed it great writing.
First and foremost let me say an excellent blending. A true tennis set of thought.
Nature is mostly depicted as the mother ever working for balance.
But..
I like this approach. it has a bold flair. You capture a bad day at the office, where only Time can tell the true toll.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha! "a bad day at the office" .. that's perfect, Cherrie! i love it .. yes, we thought it would be fun to work Father Nature over a bit .. i am positively tickled you found this and for your fantastic review ... we could have use that as the title "A Bad Day at the Office" by Father Nature :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
E.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ah the 'me too' movement giving way to the 'Me Also' movement as man gets a look in and some credit for nature. After all most growth on this planet is a work of male and female, so well said in an interesting rhyming piece.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha yes sir John ... me too!!! we can all take credit and blame .. glad you enjoyed reading .. thanks so much for taking time!
E.

[Neville]

First off.. if Dali wrote poetry and as far as I know, he didn't, then I imagine he would have been very proud had he penned this one... However, since you and Sleeping Volcano wrote it together yonks ago.. I'm sure he is looking down and thinking yeah.. now that's poetry... That's exactly what I am thinking as I struggle to find some kind of surreal compliment for ya both... So give me a minute will ya...

This whole page is composed of three various artistic forms of expression.. Dali has always been an influence on me personally and you chose one of my fave paintings by him to represent these fine words... While ELP's manic Tarkus is the perfect music to accompany your splendid poem... and no.. Mother cant take all the credit... there is uncle **** too ya know.. Purple violet squish my brother and write on now ya hear....... N :))

[Einstein Noodle]

oh what a big smile your review gives me Nev! thanks so much for finding this to read ... the Volcano is something else to be sure .. we have a few done together ... i am going to make sure he revisits this just to read your review ... couldn't be more please sir!!! thank you so much for all the encouragement and inspiration you have given me ...pleasure to be knowing you .. right here at the ol' Cafe" :)))
E.

[Neville]

.............Now ya got me :)ing too mate... N :)

[SleeplessVolcano]

Neville - Delightful to read your review! It has been a while since the Big E and I penned this. I should pull closer my hidden poetic pen again for I've been slacking a bit lately....:)

Einstein - we should do a collab again :)

[Neville]

My sincere pleasure & true.... and what a delightful idea that is.....N :)

[Einstein Noodle]

Sleepless! yes you should rosin up your pen!! and i would love to do another .. actually Richard is trying to teach me proper English sonnet writing and, tho i perceive it will tax his patience .. i am gearing up ... how about we work it together?

[Neville]

get ya kit out the both of ya....i MEAN YOUR PENS.. :)

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahahaha perhaps we can make it a threesome Sonnet?????

[Neville]

I am far too shy... and fear I must sit this one out :)

[Einstein Noodle]

:(.........................

[Neville]

I have been asked, so many times.. I just can't do it.. tis an affliction & true.. kinda like a literary stage fright.... :(

[Einstein Noodle]

awwwwwwwwwww that's OK Nev!!! i still love ya :)))))))))))

[Neville]

as I do you Gene :))

[SleeplessVolcano]

lol I tried my hand at a few sonnet once, and thought I had the hang of it, and then I realized that a sonnet is very much like football....you get American, you get soccer, and Australian...lol....one has to go to sonnet school it seems to get the big picture! I think sitting at the feet of a professional like Richard may just do the trick.....:)

[Neville]

I shall keep my eyes open for your next collab...

[Einstein Noodle]

alright Sleepless .. sounds like your up to it ... i'm getting ready to sign off for the day so i will mail you tomorrow ... Richard will for sure hold our noses to the stone .. its not gonna be pretty i'm thinking :)

[Neville]

.......... Yeah :)

[FOih;]

This is awesome. I really can't think of any more constructive thing to say, other than to express my awe.

[Einstein Noodle]

your finding my collaborations today! ;) you should check out the Volcano's pages .. you having enjoyed reading and your reaction is all one could hope for ..thanks big M ..for reviewing and letting me know
E.

[Cryingkate]

When i saw the collab from You and Volcano i said: "I have got to read this"
Chucking at you two being so cute and spitting and sputtering like two Dino Rex's at the movie Drive- in All I can think of is see It's the men's fault = Father nature tearing up a storm while the Matriarchy is feeding the sparrows next to babbling brooks and Nurturing all of life. So what's another simile. Ying and Yang. The Good seed and the bad seed?. polarity of good and Evil. Get it boys? it's your fault..... Not the Sweet innocent Virgin

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahahaha ..i have to get the Volcano over to check your vitriol ... ;) when we started i was thinking that Father would be all that...virgin included but we kind of got our testosterone rolling of its own accord .. you know... a MAN thing .. thanks Kate .. you have given me quite the fine smile and chuckle this morning .. you make it all worth it! .. now i'm off to tattle on you to the Big V
E.

[Cryingkate]

I loved it E. I really did. It felt like sitting on my back porch and watching you two playing on the hillside

[Einstein Noodle]

The V says i'm trying to make him the bad cop when i tattled on you ;) when i was young (isn't that a divine opening?) when i was young my friends and i use to take refrigerator boxes to the golf course (big hills there) and fight inside and roll down the hill inside and when it tore open we slid down the hill on top of the thing .. it took all morning or afternoon which ever it was .. life was easy then .. simple things .. happy kids ;)

[Cryingkate]

Are you going to pay my Medical bills? If not that please stop giving me Laughing Stitches..... And Tell V. suck it up.... He should be used to getting the Blame.... :-)

[Cryingkate]

typo.. that= then

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahah you tell him ... i'm not your little boy! ... (but maybe i can be .. hee hee!!)

[Einstein Noodle]

ps. send your med bills to Mr. Obama .. i hear he's sitting pretty for the poor mans advocate .. rrrrrrrrr!

[B]

The earth bleeds out
and what happens but an audience that seldom acts sits and watches

i love the imagery here
so strong

[Einstein Noodle]

some things are so overwhelming that we do sit in silence .. but nature and responsibility are surely hand in hand with human beings .. if we do nothing ... who else is there?! thanks so much for checking this one out .. tho it is completely different in theme your poem reminded me of it :)
E.

[Ken Simm.]

“I really wonder what gives us the right to wreck this poor planet of ours.”
― Kurt Vonnegut
I think that says it all. This is the kind of work that saves lives. And that is why it should be written. Extraordinary.

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks Ken...really appreciate your reading and encouraging review .. working with the Volcano on this one was a treat for sure ..
E.

[Ken Simm.]

Well done the both of you on a fantastic, intelligent write.

[Einstein Noodle]

:) .....thank you so much!

[DaughterNature]

First, I have to say that I love the color choices! They're interesting, powerful words that add a lot to the imagery!

But you know me - I'm a stickler for form! I feel like the rhymed couplets work for this, but some of the rhymes feel forced or trite ("tears" and "fears" is a little much, eh?). Also, it reads like you were aiming for 3 or 4 iambic feet per line, but it's not clear which, and some of them modulate pretty far from the iambic feel. I always say: read it out loud, and you'll find the feet that need help. ;)

[Einstein Noodle]

again...i love your input ..it is always helpful .. as we all strive to do better .. perhaps our agreement to stick to couplets would have been better served if we also agreed on feet ;) i will let the Volcano know ... thanks Daughter!
E.

[DaughterNature]

Of course :)