-- for me (someone whose first language is not english), this poem describes the anatomy of evolution... and the concluding lines reveal that despite all the commotion caused by people who make a lot of noise or lie, human beings continue to evolve... because those who create a cacophony are not the architects of evolution... they're merely "ingredients"... and their importance is not substantial in the larger scheme of things... it's "relative" to other ingredients... -- -- mammals still turn into human beings and human beings get better with time despite the presence of noisy rotten apples...
-- from this perspective, the poem does a fantastic job of describing the intricate details of the process of evolution... -- the collab is flawless... (one cannot tell who wrote which lines)... so well done both of you... -- the two of you are 'thinking' people... and there aren't too many around so thank you for writing this intensely thought-provoking symphony...
Posted 8 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
oh my goodness serah!!!! your review captures my breath .. well read ...so intuitive and precise .. .. read moreoh my goodness serah!!!! your review captures my breath .. well read ...so intuitive and precise .. seems the honor to be ours for your reading .. no kidding!!! can't wait till Nisreen reads this .. thank you to the max!
E.
8 Years Ago
-- my privilege, E... -- i love pieces that delve into the depths of the human condition... and once.. read more-- my privilege, E... -- i love pieces that delve into the depths of the human condition... and once again... you and Nisreen did a fab job... -- very seamless collab... :)
The Blues in saxophone relief
twenty tons of krill eating teeth... oh my, my imagination just got the better of me again my friend and what a catalyst these words proved to be...good on ya both............. N
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
thanks for your encouraging review Neville .. imagination can run away with us at times ... i just r.. read morethanks for your encouraging review Neville .. imagination can run away with us at times ... i just read this again and honestly.... not sure what it means ;} but it sure was fun working with Nisreen ... peace brother!
E.
6 Years Ago
I know exactly what you mean, if you know what I mean & my pleasure, my friend.... N
I find that when you tackle the large subjects, cosmology, evolution, life itself; you come into your own as a poet. This combined write is seamless and intelligent. Makes the reader do more than think. Makes them consider the large subjects. Excellently done both of you.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
thanks so much Ken! such a treat to write with Ms. Nisreen! and i sure appreciate your reviewing sir.. read morethanks so much Ken! such a treat to write with Ms. Nisreen! and i sure appreciate your reviewing sir .. and kind remarks
E.
Evolution at its finest! We are all small fragments of the universe....truly not as important as we pretend to be. Those who make the most noise are not necessarily the most important. Such a thought provoking write...and the two of you blended ink so well I can not tell who wrote which lines! Lydi**
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
thanks Lydia! so glad you enjoyed the trip ;) i couldn't agree more .. we are so very small after al.. read morethanks Lydia! so glad you enjoyed the trip ;) i couldn't agree more .. we are so very small after all .. i think those who do not come to that point loose out on the best part of the journey ... such peace in humility and acceptance ..love your comments ..thank you again!
E.
So much imagery...a very well sculptured poem. ..loved reading this, !
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
thanks Katrina! and i am so pleased to meet you ... will be stopping by your place asap .. glad you .. read morethanks Katrina! and i am so pleased to meet you ... will be stopping by your place asap .. glad you enjoyed the read for sure ..and your encouraging words
E.
what a kind and wonderful thing to say! thank you so much River!!! i will be sure to stop by her pla.. read morewhat a kind and wonderful thing to say! thank you so much River!!! i will be sure to stop by her place and yours ... love and peace!
E.
8 Years Ago
If only I was her and she is me :p
8 Years Ago
well your eyes are stunning ... as hers ... i am honored to know you both .. ;) already subscribed t.. read morewell your eyes are stunning ... as hers ... i am honored to know you both .. ;) already subscribed to you my friend .... i see Nisreen has closed her page ..i guess you will have to fill the void :)) thank you for letting me know in a cute and wonderful way
8 Years Ago
lol .......... Nisreen was wrong to close her profile she was overwhelmed with trouble but now shes .. read morelol .......... Nisreen was wrong to close her profile she was overwhelmed with trouble but now shes back :)
8 Years Ago
i for one am very thankful ..such a unique style ..
I agree with Dara: the images both you and Nisreen weaved
into this, is astounding. amazing execution & word play.
personally, for me, the first few stanzas reminds me of
the song/film "the yellow submarine" - either way...
this is indeed a wonderful collaboration by both of you.
Thank you for sharing (:
~ xx - barrie
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
The Yellow Submarine!! i saw it when it first came out ..with my first "real" girlfriend .. :) tickl.. read moreThe Yellow Submarine!! i saw it when it first came out ..with my first "real" girlfriend .. :) tickled this caused you to think of it ..thanks you!
E.
What I like about this is the sharpness and clarity -- seamless as a collab, I cannot see where one ends and one begins. The whale imagery is stunning. The world doesn't need us -- we should take heed.:)
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
we had to work at it ..your review certainly makes it worthwhile .. and no ..we aren't all that impo.. read morewe had to work at it ..your review certainly makes it worthwhile .. and no ..we aren't all that important in the schemes of Mother Nature :) ...Nisreen is such a free spirit eh!? thanks again for taking time KL ...
E.
A commentary on evolution… It really doesn’t need us to just keep right on going, does it? If anything, we’re just so much noise from self-important, squishy bags of mostly water. We keep talking about saving the planet. The planet doesn’t need us to save it. If we were suddenly gone, the planet would save itself. The truth is, we need to save ourselves by treating our only planet better.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
yes ..our lives are so much about attitude ... the dinosaurs were wiped out ..what makes us think we.. read moreyes ..our lives are so much about attitude ... the dinosaurs were wiped out ..what makes us think we may not be on the list ;) human blood is mostly saline ..in a solutuion much like the oceans' ..i think that is fascinating ...and gives me a wonderful feeling of belonging .. thanks for reading Mom! and for your review ..always appreciated
E.
a fascinating piece, I am quite fond of whales and octopi and other deep sea creatures, not the subject matter here at the cafe unfortunately so this was a special treat.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
oh what a treat to see you here TL!!!! truly happy about that ... i agree ..the creatures of the sea.. read moreoh what a treat to see you here TL!!!! truly happy about that ... i agree ..the creatures of the sea are fascinating ... reading your review reminds me of Cannery Row .. one of my all time favorites ;) all those tidal pools ripe for collections .. love ya!
E.
It still amazes me that we know more about the surface of the moon, than we do about the surface of the sea and all that lives and dwells within !!
A wonderfully penned and thrilling venture beneath the vast blue yonder !
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
thank you ... yes the oceans are another world too ;) appreciate your reding and review Tom! thanks .. read morethank you ... yes the oceans are another world too ;) appreciate your reding and review Tom! thanks again!
E.
This morning as I began to log in to WC, it occurred to me what an inspiring and comfortable place this has become for me.
There are so many talented people sharing, encouraging, teaching and learni.. more..