Black Sea

Collaboration with Zahra and advice from "M"

The Black Sea

Floods wash over blood sands

Breakers defy stone dams

Heights strive to contain our lands

Fighting moon's pulsating hands

 

Her hands forever unfolding

birthing waves mesmerizing

fertile dark ground holding

key of life's ever molding 

in the unburied's dwelling,

sounding timeless echoes,

obstructed secrets wailing

within pending throes.

God is weeping as He sees

Man created to live in light

sinks below light's decrees

making choices founded on night

Pontus Exinus crossings meet

gold calved nations with sulfuric streets

worms suffocate in our Devil's dark seat

anoxic, pro-toxic, sheep's bleating replete

weeping in agony well worth the pain

hoping the truth all Men regain

knowing as well things will remain

a battle well worn over each domain

E. with Zahra and advice from M

Author's Note

the density layers and rich cultural history inspired this one; here is just one spot to read more: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Sea

Reviews

[.]

-- for me, the fourth stanza is where the soul of these beautiful symphony resides... -- in everything, we (as in us human beings) do have a special talent for wrong choices... -- most of the problems in the world today and most of the problems in our personal lives can be attributed to bad decisions... -- but still... sometimes we are able to transcend our human limitations and "regain" our lost momentum and thrive... -- i thank the three musicians who played a role in crafting this piece... -- it has depth, it has intensity, and it is very giving -- much like the black sea...

[Einstein Noodle]

yes ..that verse is at the crux of what we are trying to say ..and if choices are based on darkness ..how deep the darkness is :( so glad you read this one serah! so glad it has touched you so!
E.

[.]

-- me too... i'm glad i did...

[Kelly Scheppers]

I wholeheartedly agree with Chris. The insight and presence you both give here are truly seamless to perfection!

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you Kelly! really appreciate your review .. makes me feel encouraged to write again! :)
E.

[Kelly Scheppers]

...and that's a really good thing!!! ; )

[Einstein Noodle]

:) ................

[Chris]

Sharing vision takes insight and presence... You both did well. Accepting advice and working with it demonstrates the respect with which it is held.

[Einstein Noodle]

you cut to the chase sir :)) absolutely in need of one and another ... yes??
i am always honored and happy for your visits Chris .. wishing you and yours a fantastic day, November and beyond!!
E.

[Pryde Foltz]

God is weeping as He sees
Man created to live in light
sinks below light's decrees
making choices founded on night

Seamless and deeply meaningful co-write. Bravo. I have recently arrived at the opinion that it is okay for a man to be simply a man, in the same way it is okay, actually rather splendid, for a bird to be a bird, a tiger a tiger. All this is happening in the vacuum of space, you know. It's a miracle. And the awareness and enlightenment thing … it quick shot to anywhere. But it is a practice not meant to shook. Again great write, you two:)

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks Pryde! glad you read this one ;) yes ..we are what we are and thats OK for sure ..but humans have a level of conscience ... and deliberating that animals do not .. i suppose one can argue they do but it is not based on facts we know ... i think enlightenment is very pointed ... quite purposeful and directive ... we get to choose :) love your comments .. you always cause me to take another look :))
E.

[Cryingkate]

Oh Dear ! Oh MY !
I do Believe You found your Niche. yup your all wet my boy !
Your soaking wet in Your Metaphoric, Ocean of Poetry.

Wow your white water verses must be your greatest ever.
Well Done there Salty :-)

[Einstein Noodle]

Dearest Cry Baby ;) i am so very humbled and gratified by your remarks ..thank you so very much ...you are an inspiration and encouragement always ..so glad you like this one! thank you again!!!
E.

[SleeplessVolcano]

Aaahhhh.....where is my passport? I need to dip my feet in in this sea ASAP....lol

Captivating piece you guys......the sea gives life but also takes it. It lets light through, but also harbors darkness.....it gives us life, but also causes death......so many images captured so well in this poem....

In the last line, if the 'r' in worn was dropped, it sounds to me that the positive spin towards the end would be expressed just a litter bit deeper with "won" than with "worn" but that is just my insomnia induced opinion.....:)

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you sleepless! for your thoughtful reading and advice ..not so concerned with being positive at the end but i see what you mean .. wanted an impression of a struggle that goes on over and over and over ... we sometimes refuse or can not learn the lessons very well it seems to me :) thank you again my friend
E.

[...]

We are the black sea...mmm and it's so dark and tumultuous in here, emotions waxing and waning, reeking havoc...but still, we have eyes to see, hearts, hopes... Yes we keep repeating things, mistakes. Our flesh is the shore. The ground beneath our feet. If would just walk in a different direction...explore :) I love your writing, E :)

[Einstein Noodle]

ooooooooo you are the adventurous spirit aren't you :) searching inside all our light and darkness can be all the Halloween we need ..and more eh!? the Black Sea has a very definite line between life and death ... for us to come upon it must be terrifying ..would you agree? ;)
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

life can mesmerize, it can also be filled with so many secrets...and then it can wash out farther to the deep blackness or it can wash us ashore where we can get our feet on the ground and move forward...never a certainty in those waves.

nicely done...

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you jacob! and i agree ..life can be mesmerizing ... (love how you put that) i appreciate your reading into this one .. truly so much of life is like that ... thank again sir!
E.

[Einstein Noodle]

if you would like to visit Zahra's page this is her link :
http://www.writerscafe.org/mysticflight98

and this is a link to M:
http://www.writerscafe.org/DismaleAlloy

i must also give thanks for KWP and her suggestions (which i used) thanks girl!! :)