Black Sea

Collaboration with Zahra and advice from "M"

The Black Sea

Floods wash over blood sands

Breakers defy stone dams

Heights strive to contain our lands

Fighting moon's pulsating hands

 

Her hands forever unfolding

birthing waves mesmerizing

fertile dark ground holding

key of life's ever molding 

in the unburied's dwelling,

sounding timeless echoes,

obstructed secrets wailing

within pending throes.

God is weeping as He sees

Man created to live in light

sinks below light's decrees

making choices founded on night

Pontus Exinus crossings meet

gold calved nations with sulfuric streets

worms suffocate in our Devil's dark seat

anoxic, pro-toxic, sheep's bleating replete

weeping in agony well worth the pain

hoping the truth all Men regain

knowing as well things will remain

a battle well worn over each domain

E. with Zahra and advice from M

Author's Note

the density layers and rich cultural history inspired this one; here is just one spot to read more: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Sea

Reviews

[.]

-- for me, the fourth stanza is where the soul of these beautiful symphony resides... -- in everything, we (as in us human beings) do have a special talent for wrong choices... -- most of the problems in the world today and most of the problems in our personal lives can be attributed to bad decisions... -- but still... sometimes we are able to transcend our human limitations and "regain" our lost momentum and thrive... -- i thank the three musicians who played a role in crafting this piece... -- it has depth, it has intensity, and it is very giving -- much like the black sea...

[Einstein Noodle]

yes ..that verse is at the crux of what we are trying to say ..and if choices are based on darkness ..how deep the darkness is :( so glad you read this one serah! so glad it has touched you so!
E.

[.]

-- me too... i'm glad i did...

[Woody]

fascinating collab, E. in light of what's happening in all corners of the world, today, your fourth stanza springs out of the page to slap some sense into suicidal mankind, if that makes sense.

[Einstein Noodle]

glad you have pointed that verse out ..and yes ..some one needs to slap sense into some very thick sculls .. no doubt about it ..thanks for taking time Woody! love and peace!
E.

[Scott Metro]

Notice the eyes of the lady in the video...the remnants of Ariana...the great nation state that gave birth to Persia, Mesopotamia, Sumaria, the Germanic tribes and all peoples north and west in Europe...beautiful !!!!....
Excellent write my friend.!!!

Scott

[Einstein Noodle]

so nice to have your visit Scott! thank you! and the connections you make are gratifying to the max .. it is an incredible area ... so full of the makings of creativity and demise ..thank you once again for reading and reviewing .. it means a lot! :)
E.

[ANTO]

The Enlightenment seems so long ago - as if it happened on another planet. Where did the human race go wrong - now we seem set on reversing back to the dark ages.
This is so strong - any points of meeting here are invisible joins. A great collab. Well done guys.

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you so much Anto! truly gratifying to read your review ... we "go wrong" ..and we "try again" ..right!?? :)) love and peace sir!
E.

[ANTO]

yep - thats what defines us my friend but I cant help wondering if we havent done this before - step for step - word for word - murder for murder

[Einstein Noodle]

yes ...i am convinced you are right about that ... a too well worn road :{

[Tom]

It is indeed a land of ancient culture and wonderment !

An intriguing read Einstein !

[Einstein Noodle]

yes it is!! on doing a little reading about the Sea and the land and the history and myths and what ifs .. i am struck by the splendor ... so glad you appreciate the inspiration for this poem .. thank you again sir!
E.

[Tomás Ó C..]

Love the roll of the poem off the tongue as it is read...

[Einstein Noodle]

man!! thank you for your thoughts and impressions big T .. when it rolls off the tongue in such a way one could not ask for more .. so appreciate your visit and review!!
E.

[andrew mitchell]

Wow! You both built a power poem here considering whats going on in Paris. Brilliant work

[Einstein Noodle]

appreciate the visit andrew! i can see your connection with current events for sure ... universal truths really do exist don't they!? thank you again for taking time to read and review!!
E.

[andrew mitchell]

You are most welcome E

[Einstein Noodle]

:) ..............

[R Smith]

It is poetic perfection my friends, truly one I will read over again in my library right here, incredible writing :)

[Einstein Noodle]

Richard!!! if its in your library speaking for myself .. i am fully rewarded :)) could not be happier for your visit, comments and appreciation .. the Black Sea is quite magical isn't it?!? thank you again sir!!
E.

[KWP]

the team is back :) lovely to see

this for me is a poem built on description but I think the imagery is lacking ... what is happening here is you are 'telling' the reader what's going on and I feel it could certainly be enhanced by using all of your five senses to invite the reader right in and enjoy

take for example

Floods wash over the sands ... now that tells me yes there are floods washing over the sands - but It really does not give me a pristine description ... how big were the floods, where did they come from, was the sand dry and arid before the floods hit? were the floods silky or foamy, were they a rush as they passed?

Then you say breakers defy strong dams ... again if you use the five senses of sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste it could perhaps be described much better ... and the word 'strong' as a descriptive word threw me right off for poetry

I think perhaps the words were written for the rhymes and this for me allows the poem to lose it's message to the reader

another ... weeping in agony and well worth the pain ... very telling, for a poem to be great the reader must feel enveloped in each and every way I think

anyway ... just some thoughts ... take em, eat em or chick em out the second story window

with much love of course X

[Einstein Noodle]

i take them to heart KWP ..perhaps i will give it another go adding more of what you are asking for ..it would be a challenge and probably make for a bit longer read ... i will go back to the drawing board to expand meself ;) thank you for the thoughtful and thorough review .. definitely will try to change "strong" at the very least!
E.

[Einstein Noodle]

ps. changed it a bit! what do you think? ..it is about rhyme ... i like to stab at it once in a while ...:)))

[KWP]

yes :) I like it ... the very first line now sets the tone ... what do you think of the word fortified instead of strong? The line heights strive to contain out lands could be 'we guardians endeavour to protect cherished land?

there's definitely more imagery which makes me feel like I can touch it with my minds eye :)

hope your night is fab X

[Einstein Noodle]

the night is coming on here ..and it is blessed my friend ..love your comments and already changed strong to stone ;)) ... thank you for the mail and am looking forward to hashing things out .. love love love to you and all those around you :)

[Dara]

I found this to be especially poignant considering the recent horrific attacks in Paris. Your carefully chosen words produce a flawless collaboration. Beautifully done!

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you Dara ... it certainly does apply ... to the past and present and sadly the future as we have such difficulty refining our lives towrds the "Light" :)
E.

[Bright Ocean Star]

E and Zarah, every stanza was beautifully crafted, but for some reason the last two stanzas stand out and grab me, especially the fifth stanza. There is a beauty and depth to this message that is important for everyone to meditate on and consider. Thank you for this beautiful and serious compilation.

[Einstein Noodle]

and thank you Bright One!! certainly appreciate your time and kind words of encouragement ... working with Zahra is always a treat for me and M adds a nice touch of opinion when asked for ..thanks again for reading
E.

[Bright Ocean Star]

you are welcome. :)