"Seasons" (in collaboration with Zahra)

our first attempt at the "Renga" a few changes r/t advice taken from N. Esse

"Seasons"

Chrysanthemums pierce
new earthscapes warming springshine
rainbow emitting

Daylight greets verdant yearnings
Floral colors scatter forth,

Exploding petals
Drinking rain and sun
Picnics woven in between

Ringing laughter and raindrops,
And Rejuvenations sprout

sprouting seeds seeking sleep
trailing wind and stars
east to west serenely

Zephyrs caress fuchsia morns
Vibrancy flows in gardens

compost drying. fruit and
brown stems withering
juice drips down cornered lips

arid grounds smothering with
surreal autumn golds and reds

rainbow paints the hills
grounds below hungry
to fatten before winter

anticipation gliding
through athirst landscapes of fall

thirsty roots reaching
preparing winter's breaching
lost warm days for now

winter circle glorifying
mystique nights of wintertime

ice crystals riding
Procyon, Sirius and
Betelgeuse blowing

trees adorning snow's attire
welcome gentle warmth's shower

silent blankets covering
lone caw of crow
robins herald new world

perched on sanguine beginnings
spring joyfully flutters wings

Author's Note

the three stars mentioned are called the Northern Triangle
from Poets.org renga is defined as:
"To create a renga, one poet writes the first stanza, which is three lines long with a total of seventeen syllables. The next poet adds the second stanza, a couplet with seven syllables per line. The third stanza repeats the structure of the first and the fourth repeats the second, alternating in this pattern until the poem’s end."

ours is comparatively short and we held to three lines with seventeen syllables with a couple of these in 5-7-5 .. hope you enjoy our attempt :)

Reviews

[ANTO]

I loved the linking of the stanzas - each leading to the next without losing the completeness of the piece. Very skilful writing. Like Bright Ocean Star Im a sucker for celestial references so we share a favourite stanza - having said that I was buzzed by
"perched on sanguine beginnings
spring joyfully flutters wings" too. All in all a fine collaboration you two.

[Einstein Noodle]

the two lines you quote are Zahra's ... she has been such a blessing to work with .. thank you Anto! for taking time to read and review .. your words encourage me to keep trying! :)
thank you again!
E.

[Zahra]

Thank you very much ANTO :)

[JessyJacob]

I really cant praise you for how much time you had spent on learning and writing to meet the Northern triangle, just beiieve in your dreams, though people make fun, this is my belief, faith and Hope. i want to learn from you poetry. How you make things so nicer to others, caring for others , make for yourself too, I just want to tell this.

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you so much jessy! I appreciate you and the time you spent reading and reviewing this poem .. Zahra and I have worked on several poems and for me it was a learning experience each time .. neither of us had done a Renga before .. i miss Zahra ... she left several years ago .. i appreciate the mention of the Northern Triangle .. we learn all kinds of things around here don't we ... right here at the Cafe'
E.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'Seasons' collaboration with Zahra'
Einstein Noodle,
So this style is renga? I enjoyed it. The two of you really took me along on the many graces of seasonal change. Oh we need all the sweet beauties you both mentioned. How do we fathom so much blessing. Hardly know. Thankyou so much for the reminder of all the riches just outside our door in any given season.
Kathy

[Einstein Noodle]

WOW, Kathy!! what a treat you found this one and brought me back to it!! thank you so very much!! Zahra and i did several poems together .. i haven't seen her about for a number of years now .. your visit reminds me to check her out and see if she is here or not .. renga can run on and on, many of them with 50 verses .. neigther of us wanted to be that windy ;) thanks again for this wonderful visit ... peace and love always!
E.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Hope you can look up your friend. I truly enjoyed the beauty of this writing form and the two of you did it well. Yikes did not know how ongoing it can be. Hope you are doing well and staying happy.
Kathy

[Einstein Noodle]

she is not to be found :( but i am sure is doing well ... she lives in the Mediterranean Region and we did several poems related .. i learned a lot from her. ;) luv and more luv darlin' :))))))))

[Nearly Blonded]

i like how everything in the poems kind of connect. very similar to nature and the changing of seasons. you can truly feel the seasons as the poem goes on and i really liked the imagery here as well. :)

[Einstein Noodle]

wow! you found an oldie Nearly! thank you so much for taking time .. and reviewing ... i don't think we have met yet and will come knock on your pages as well ... this was our first Renga ..a great way to write in collaboration ... Zahra hasn't been around lately .. thanks for bringing me back to this one ... we had fun writing it
E.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Wow, this is held up as one of the most important of the Japanese art forms. You have both tackled it sublimely and the picture you paint indeed fits the theme so well!

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks for reviewing John! i appreciate you taking time ... happy you enjoyed reading ... Zahra is focused on school these days but I know she appreciates your encouragement as well .. kind of miss that girl :)
E.

[Neville]

a little collaborative masterpiece if ever there was....and thoroughly enjoyed.. I feel as if I've been searching for these lovely words since they were first posted.. now that's wot I call love.. in fact a dead Renga for love... sorry about that Gene.... Neville :)

[Einstein Noodle]

wow..i had to refresh my nog on what a Renga is ;) i sure appreciate your wandering around my pages sir! its encouraging by itself but even more so when you have a positive response to what is written ... thanks once again my friend! "dead Renga" indeed :))))))))))))))))))))))))
E.

[Neville]

always a pleasure my friend, and always mine.... :)

[TL Boehm]

So, I've read a few of this type in my lifetime and know its a job to get a flow for all four - wrap it up and make it beautiful - that being said, its exactly what you did. This is a lovely poem - consistent imagery throughout - like a little dance. Well done.

[Einstein Noodle]

honestly struck by your review TL .. i have much respect for you ... i was actually getting ready for being corrected (with respect of course) and feel so gratified that you like this one ..working with Zahra is continually a challenge and treat for me ..she brign so much to the table .. your avatar is stunning .. piercing if i may say so! thank you for finding this one TL ..really glad for your visit! :)
e.

[TL Boehm]

Ya know, I so rarely "correct" a soul here. I'm not really qualified to do it since nobody died and made be poet laureate of the interwebs. So I read what I like, what I have time for and I comment on the way I feel or what I like about the poem. That's not to say that if you sent a read request and I didn't read it - I didn't like it. My usual method is - if there is a pink bar - I usually pass. If there's lots of cursing, pass. If there are vampires - hard pass. And if I get an RR from someone who has never bothered to review me ever - pass. Everything else I really try to read and even in the usual passes there are exceptions. In your case, I remember trying to write a couple of these winter to spring things and it was cumbersome. This collab of yours was very clean. :) Peace.

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks TL! i hear ya!

[DaughterNature]

Yay, I love renkus! Although, I would really recommend doing a linked-style poem with 3 or more poets so you don't wind up alternating, as it can lead to a repetitive feel in the poetry.

[Einstein Noodle]

yes! when learning about this form i did note that there can be a whole lot of poets contributing in a round like fashion .. i see your point! more would add more ;)

[Moonie]

There is one word to describe such poetry....the word is "cascading"... a very gentle and eloquent poem... you met the challenge head on....:) :)

[Einstein Noodle]

Oh my goodness Moon's Fairest!!! could not be more happy with a response such as yours .. feeling pretty good right now :) (but not too much of course!)
Thanks Moon's!! :)))
E.

[Matching Socks]

Nice job you two.
This is a difficult format follow and you've delivered expertly.
Beautiful images and comparisons.
Well done.

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you Ana .. truly appreciate your taking time .. so glad you found some good stuff in this one! :)
E.

[sharonlee]

A visual symphony. Carried me away from the chaos running rampant in my mind. Thank you both for that.

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you Sharonlee! chaos needs a symphony doesn't it!? ;) so glad that reading this brought a deep breath to you ;)
E.