CHAPTER FIFTEEN

 

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: ENCOUNTER

 

                        The season and weather weren’t the only things changing. As the leaves started falling and the air got chiller and stuffy, my time became consumed in activities and depended on the company of others. It was hard to deny any change happening to myself when I spent my nights and most of my days alone sitting on the corner of my bed without thoughts or speech. I was too inverted and ignorant to see my slow transformation and how it was affecting the others around me. Everything revolved around the loneliness, the silence, the thirst for danger, and the past. My emotions were simplifying as my thoughts became muted if not infuriated. The strange feeling at the back of my head that had started a few months ago had engulfed my mind and dulled myself so all that I was capable of was complete silence, committing daring acts, and wallowing in anger. I never wanted to be this way. Why hadn’t I seen the change happening? It felt so normal…

                “EVERYBODY!” the room was spinning with the uproar of mixed laughter as the beer in my hand swooshed in the brown bottle with my imbalance standing on the bar stool.

“Yeah?” called some droopy voice. Squinting didn’t help me see where it had come from or make me look any smarter. I went sprawling into a fit of giggles, the bottle slipping out of my hand and rolling off the counter with an earsplitting crack.

“I FORGOT” another carousel of laughter spun thickly around me, hiccupping with the muffled sounds. “Jade, can I get another one of…whatever you’ve been giving me” my vision was blurry, smacking my palm on the counter to serve as a reference point when I lowered myself back down onto the seat.

“Samantha, I think you’ve had enough” Kurt came into my sight, swaying my head back in forth to get a clearer view on him and going into another squirt of giggles. Nick had introduced me to him awhile ago. His real name was Steven, but everyone called him Kurt. Of course, Kurt was an appropriate nickname. Frizzy, knotted hair of dirt blond hair was scattered over his dipped head and fell into his rugged, pale face. Through the tangles of matted hair, his eyes were laced into a tight, smoldering scowl. Blue eyes that shimmered modestly and hid their beauty under a numbing stare were mysterious and draining. The ripped, wrinkled clothes he wore hung loosely on his decaying silhouette. He was the perfect rendition of the infamous Kurt Cobain.

                  “Hey, what inspired you when you wrote ‘Heart Shaped Box’?” the bitter coating in my mouth was beginning to dissolve, beginning to panic. “I need another beer, now. Whoa, I feel like I’m floating” more giggles, flapping my arms to hit Kurt in the shoulder. My stomach was bubbling abnormally, but I felt so high, high enough that my pain and memories slipped away. Beer had just become my new best friend.

“Sam! Damn how many did you have? Sam?” dialogue was bubbles in my ears, giggling spasmodically as I analyzed Kurt.

“I’m one of your biggest fans. How’s heaven? Um…You like the Meat Puppets, right? They’re pretty sick and uh… puppies are… what the hell?” I grabbed the edge of the counter before I fell forward onto the floor, now aware someone was shaking my shoulders. Growing more agitated with the absence of alcohol, I was getting ready to chuck something.

“Sam, let’s go”

“Huh?” my mood changed drastically, my body feeling like it got hit by a truck and should have been in a coma. A coma didn’t sound so bad at all, letting my lids flake over my eyes, a mixture of purples and oranges still swirling on the inside of my lids. “I want… uh”

“Sam, let’s go” whatever hands were grabbing my arm, I let them carry me away. Walking became a challenge for me, running into a few booth corners and tripping over a wire. Cold air stimulated my lethargic senses, the way it trickled down my throat and brushed against my teeth made me forget that I wanted more beer. “Sam how many did you drink”

“Hmm” rotating my head into Ian’s direction, forgetting who he was for a moment.

“How-many-beers-did-you-have?” sucking my lip, I looked to the sky.

“I think… the sky is pretty” I felt like I was at the bottom of a snow globe, looking to the curved top that was decorated by smudges of glitter.

“What are you doing?” I was jumping up and down, flailing my hands above my head.

“I want to touch it”

“What?”

“The sky” I wanted to cry, jumping higher and thrusting my hand harder into the air, hoping I would jab the sky.

“Sam, you’re drunk. You can’t touch the sky” I was out of breath, collapsing to the ground, swaying my torso back in forth.

“I can touch the sky if I want” I muttered under my breath, placing my head in my palms to ease the bickering pounding in my head. Ian watched over me, frequently swatting my shoulder. I heard laughter usher from him, smiling in glee to his happiness.

“Don’t fall asleep”

“I do what I want!” blinding highlights flashed into my eyes “NO! It’s them!”

“Who?” Ian nudged me.

“ALIENS” I screamed, watching a black figure climb out from the darkness. My insides perked from groggy, believing what I had just said. With legs of jell-o, I ran screaming as tears bit my skin.

“Sam!”

“No, no. Not again, please” I sobbed, running in blinding darkness, unable to decipher the shouts around me. “No, please just kill me! No, I don’t want to go back! NO!” I was caught, locked in someone’s arms.

“Sam, it’s okay” the voice was warm, letting my heartbeat die down to the smoothness in the tone.    “No one is going to hurt you” my feet dragged on the ground as the person carried me back to the curb. “Stay here. I’m going to get you some water. Stay here, okay? Don’t sleep” he clutched my face, nodding in hopes that I would repeat the action and take in what he said. “Stay” he slipped away from me, disappearing through the door to Joe’s Bar. It was a small family restaurant and bar that Nick’s friends hung out at after school. Here I discovered alcohol and how I could become so disoriented that I could forget everything and let the loneliness seep into me.

            I bent between my knees to vomit all the spoils of alcohol I had consumed the past few hours. The barf fest seemed to go on for days before I came to painful, dry heaves. It didn’t burn so much as the shots I had taken earlier but the pounding in my head was unbearable. My thoughts were a bit clearer, laughing softly to myself then groaned when I remembered the ruckus I had made minutes ago.

            “Here, Sam. Drink up” I shook my head, clutching my stomach. He laughed, shoving the glass in my face. “It’s water”

“Oh” it washed down smoothly and the taste of bile and beer almost vanished in the one glass. “Thank you” he passed two more glasses over, gulping down both of them. “How did you know” I paused to groan and knead my knuckles into my forehead “I was here?”

“I didn’t. I always come here. I haven’t for awhile and—why are you asking the questions” he was flustered, trying to support my depleted body resting on him. “What are you doing here? You’ve never had alcohol before” I scowled, my face sinking into his warm chest that smelled of spice. “You’re too skinny to drink it. How did you drink so much and not pass out? You need to know your limits” I nodded, rolling my head onto his shoulder. There was still the urge of vomiting floating in my stomach and the cramps in my head only worsened. But having Ian’s muscular body and warmth cradle me lessened both.

“I’ll be careful next time” I grunted, closing my eyes.

“No next time for you… HEY!” he gave me a shake in which I returned with a displeased growl. “No sleeping. Let’s walk” he got up, slinging me up onto my wobbly legs and keeping his hands on my shoulders until he was sure I could stand on my own.

“At one at night?” my head slammed into his shoulder for balance as he began walking on the sidewalk of The Village shopping center. Most of the shops and restaurants were closed but there were a few that had kept their business for fun and the enjoyment of others. It was small with only one tiny movie theater and small, hokey, family restaurants but it was a warm and friendly atmosphere.

“It’s actually twelve fifteen. Isn’t that a bit early for someone to get hammered?” he chuckled, not seeming to mind me leaning on him and trying to sleep without him seeing me.

“Maybe, but who cares. Beer tastes the same whether its 9 or two thirty” he sighed. “Ah, the light is so bright” the street lamps were posted every ten feet or so but they felt like tanning lamps boiling my skin.

“Sorry, can’t do anything about that.” My feet were dragging on the pavement, but Ian was patient and didn’t make any remark about our slow pace. “Are you feeling any sober?”

“Not really. Well, I don’t feel like jumping off tables or touching the sky anymore” he laughed, pulling me out of the way of a fire hydrant.

“Seriously, what made you drink so much to that extreme?” I shrugged, I wasn’t drunk enough to divulge my issues and emotions. It was a surprise that Ian hadn’t bickered at me to fess up all the details of my past after my less than subtle interview. It was almost disappointing that the news of our pregnancy left no impression on him.

            “Stuff” I found myself seated on a bench with my head laid in Ian’s lap. Laying down soothed the headaches and smoothed the fray of nausea and absence of substances in my stomach. Nudging my head into his thigh, I tried to clean up the fog in my mind so I could concentrate on the things around me like the muscle in Ian’s leg flexing under my face and the stiff, cold bench holding my body from the ground.

            “Stuff?” he murmured, it was hard to hear when one ear was pressed against his leg and the other was under my lengthening hair and a throbbing headache. I could feel his fingers combing through it. It was getting longer, almost touching my shoulders.

“Yes, stuff” I could feel questions coming to play, the clotting in my head worsened so I snug my head on his thigh and wrapped my arm around his leg like a pillow. The past months, Ian and I had trampled the awkwardness so we could be together as friends. Now it was bearable to be with him without stirring heartache or bringing up haughty topics. I still loved him like he still highly worried about me, but loosened his grip when he finally admitted that he couldn’t control or save me though he fought it for awhile. A couple times he accompanied me on raids in which I would ditch him an hour or so into the raid and come home with a brand new motorcycle. His cousin, Adam, taught me how to dirt bike one summer so it was easy to pickup on controlling a motorcycle. I had a black Kawasaki Ninja 250R and a Harley Davidson VRSCD Night Rod waiting beside my cabin. Ian wasn’t very excited to hear about those and that didn’t quicken his release on me and neither did the news of my visit to the museum even though the Province Center welcomed me and the books with open arms and took my promise to translate them to the heart. They always overlooked my slight rule breaking; no one was allowed to leave the mountain unless authorized. And they implied that they would look the other way if I happened to be driving down. Causing disturbances and endangering myself at the bottom of the mountain was becoming a hobby for me.

            “I think you need some help” he carefully said, stroking my cheekbone across my temple. “You’re hurting yourself and—“

“What are you talking about? I’ve never hurt myself” I opened my eyes, staring over his knee to an abandoned boutique lighted by the orb of light floating from the street lamp. His leg stiffened so it felt like lying on concrete.

“Oh really” I squeaked, pulling my knees tighter against my chest with Ian’s hand gripping the inside of my thigh on the spot of a fresh cut. He hadn’t forgotten the cuts I had done to myself. “If I find out you hurt yourself or hear something bad has happened to you”, he slid his hand back to my head to run his fingers through my hair. His fingers had made the wounds burn, hopefully they hadn’t started to bleed again. “It would kill me” he breathed. There was no use in arguing, keeping my mouth shut as he speechlessly continued ruffling my hair and running his fingers over my skin. It was obvious how drunk I was. If I was sober, I wouldn’t have tolerated his touch or the minimal space between us. Lately I had been keeping to myself, spilling a few words that sufficed to continue a conversation. I hardly had company at my cabin and did my best to keep it that way unless that company was Nick.

            Over the months, Nick had become my sidekick; he was always alongside me in presence, chatter, and memory. Sometimes in the middle of the night Nick would invite me to play videogames with him, help me with my new injuries (getting hurt was becoming a daily ritual) and sneak past Ian. We fitted together like pieces of a puzzle and the thought of being separated from him was unbearable. He felt like family; something I constantly ached for.

            “If you actually feel that way, I won’t” the beer was corroding at the walls I had built so tall and thick around me to serve as a barrier between me and everything else. I felt social, wanting to tell Ian my every secret as if we were back in high school on a Friday Night, sprawled on my bed.

            The advantages of caring and spending time with me was still a mystery to me. Ian didn’t seem to be in any hurry or in annoyance as he stroked my side and flaked out his jacket over me. His breathing was just as quiet as the buzz of the streetlamps and creaking of cars passing by. I told myself that I only enjoyed his company because I was intoxicated and didn’t have enough mind cleared to find myself and take in Ian’s words that I heard months ago.

“Sam. Can you do me a little favor?” I nodded, not sure what I would commit myself to, but I felt eager to do so. “Well, you know about the raid Tuesday?”

“Of course” a cozy bed that still smelled of dust despite six washes didn’t compare to the luxurious comfort of laying my head on Ian’s lap on a bench. I let my eyes fall, just for rest and to relieve the pounding in my head.

“Come sleepover Monday and I’ll give you a ride the next day” he was trying to convince me with his cheery tone, making the whole scam seem like a little friendly sleepover and “everyone wins “ deal.

“I was planning to go early. Like Monday afternoon” I yawned, Ian wiped away the drowsiness by rubbing my cheekbone with his thumb and passing over my eyes to bend a few eyelashes.

“That’s really early”

“Just a little” his jacket was warm as an autumn night wind passed through. My stomach was beginning to calm but my head still felt as though my brain was rattling in my skull.

“My favor is this” he tilted my chin up, forcing me to roll so I could see him through the webs of light from the street lamps and the darkness. “Let me come with you on this raid. But you actually have to stay with me… And no more motorcycles!”

“Why? I’m fine on my own” he clutched my shoulder, keeping me from rolling away from his coaxing glare that was still vibrant through the hazy dimness.

“For now. It’s not safe… The aliens have gotten closer to the mountain and we’ve noticed that security has been tighter”

“So?” he gave a grunt as he shifted, murmuring an apology and something about his leg being asleep. “Can’t be any worse now? Or is it?” I grabbed his shirt, “You can’t go down there if it’s bad” he laughed, throwing his head back. I grimaced from the sudden movement, my head going into a flurry of pounding.

“You? You don’t want me to go down? So you’re going to ignore me but boss me around” I didn’t find it funny, giving a harsher tug on his shirt.

“I mean it” it would be hard for him to take someone who is drunk, seriously.

“Well so did I” he snapped back, his voice injured. “And I still do. I don’t want you running off on your own. Just one raid, for me?” I sighed, able to detect the pleading pout on his face from his tone.

“Fine” he sighed, returning back to stroking my face and running fingers across my shoulder.

“Thank you. It’s gotten bad. We don’t know why they have taken a more aggressive attitude. You got the memo right? We’re supposed to be collecting materials for the gate” I narrowed my eyes, grabbing Ian’s hand and slamming his palm onto my forehead. The heat was lavishing.

“What gate?” I pressed firmly on his hand to squeeze all the warmth I could out of his skin onto my headache.

            The air became frigid and assertive, latching onto my skin and soaking into my clothes. My teeth chattered, a sign that Ian took as I needed a back rub. His free hand ran the length of my bony back, smoothing the creases of my shirt and making a soothing friction to warm me.

            “The provinces voted to build a fence and install cameras at the bottom the hill” I gaped, releasing the pressure on Ian’s hand on my forehead. The idea was so stupid in its simplicity and negligence. The aliens would laugh at the fence before they effortlessly leaped over it or pulled it down with one stretched, green finger. Were we so desperate that we would waste time building a useless fence then to patiently come with a better idea? But was there a better option? If they did venture about the mountain there would not be any weapon or hiding spot that could ensure our survival or defeat them. It was all a hopeless mess…

“Yeah, because a fence would stop them” I snapped, a cold breath of autumn blew onto the newly exposed spots of my body as I pushed up from Ian. He hadn’t expected my rage. “This is careless” I put my face into my hands, shaking my head.

“It’s all we’ve got” it was hard to accept his words when it was the truth. There was only so much we could do. But I expected more when there was the pressure to protect the thin strain of human existence and the two reasons I was living.

“Ian, there’s nothing that can stop them. Do you think if we put a fence on the planet, they wouldn’t have come in?” I was shaking. It was a minor thing to get angry about, but that failed to occur to me in the moment.

“Of course not. Sam, calm down” my fingers brushed through my hair, Ian was pulling me into his side and my head was pumping in the new anger.

“I—I can’t believe this. It’s just—“sobbing didn’t make my opinion any stronger. “We can’t do that, it won’t help and it’s a waste of time. Plus, it was just egg on the aliens. They’ll see the fence and want to come up here even more. They’ll know humans live up here” I gritted my teeth, “And I won’t have that when you and Nick are here” he ran his hands across my arms to warm and appease me.

“You’re right, but do you think anyone will listen. Now it’s a matter of security” he sighed, “I’m not very dazzled by the plan but it’s one more thing between them and the people I love” a kiss met my skin, gasping in the icy air. This was another contradiction to a monologue with Margaret that I heard from him a long time ago… “Don’t get upset. I’m sure they’ll come up with something better. Just don’t worry” kneading my knuckles into my scalp, I breathed in the scent of Ian’s cologne in his clothing. I basked in his warmth, relaxing in his arms and forgetting the regret I would later come to dwell on. There were plenty of other things to worry about, but I didn’t want to think about a single one. All I wanted was the focus to diminish in drunken happiness of this moment with Ian.

“I’m not upset, I’m a little concerned” Ian seemed amused, giving a few low chuckles and caressing a few fingers across my face. My breath came out in a mist, hitting my face before I shut my eyes and snuggled my face into his chest to savor the touch one last time before I pulled away. “I think I should go back home. I’m sorry I ruined your night” my leg felt like cooked noodles, stomping it over the bench edge and throwing myself up to stumble over the curb. A scrape on the knee couldn’t compare to the other aches and pains hiding under the effects of alcohol.

“Sam, what are you talking about” he yanked me into a tight hug, spinning me around to face him. “I’m having a great time with you. It’s the first time in awhile that I’ve had a connection with you. You’ve been so quiet lately” our hands laced together, “But if you’re not feeling well. I’ll take you home” a friendly smile and affectionate interlock was hard to deny, finding myself dreading the end of our time together.

“Yes, that would be nice. Thank you” he pulled me along the sidewalk, swinging our arms as I giggled watching myself trying to keep up with Ian. I took giant steps, slowing Ian. A spurt of excitement or energy bloomed within me, feeling desperate to make every second count and take advantage of my vulnerable, sociable side. “Ian”

“Hmm?” I tripped on my own feet, Ian yanking me back onto my feet without missing a step.

“You never told me how you and Margaret met” I had been selfish the past months, so introverted to become involved in his life. It wasn’t fair to Ian to take care of gloomy me and I not be interested in his affairs.

“I haven’t?” he cocked his head in unease, raising an eyebrow as he cut a quick glance towards me. I nodded eager to hear his story. A modest, shy smile spread onto his face as he swung our arms harder with the clamping cold grasping my limbs and the air washing my face to energize me more.

“Okay, um—A year ago, I was going to the bar with some buds and…” he scratched his head, squinting his eyes as if he really forgot when he met his fiancée. “Oh, she was on the side of the road with some of her friends. Her car broke down so I offered to help out and it went from there.”

“Oh” it wasn’t as spectacular as I imagined it, but I was too intoxicated and frazzled to judge and coax for more details. “That’s nice, and how did you propose?” the same troubled expression flickered on his face and his fingers started to pierce into my hand instead of swinging our arms harder.

“I planned an entire day. We water skied, walked around the lake and then at sundown I popped the question” I giggled, leaning on his shoulder. He sighed, “And then you came” he murmured under his breath. I grew somber, going downcast and folding my arms across my chest.

“I’m sorry” fresh tears were flowing at the bottom of my eyes. “I ruined everything”.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that” There was a screech of burning rubber that caught our attention. A black SUV had turned into the street we were walking by and was racing, out of control, down the road. “Sam, get back!” the car was swerving, my head hurt trying to watch the car as I stopped on the curb with my toes hanging over. “Sam!” the car squealed as it suddenly put on the brakes, fishtailing with  the end coming towards me. My reflexes were slow, watching the end of the SUV skidding towards me. Ian threw an arm around my waist, spinning around with me on his hip away from the car slamming into a street lamp that I had only been a few inches from where I had been.

“OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!” shouted a man climbing out of the wrecked car with his buddy running up the road until collapsing with his face in his hands. Ian kept me behind him, not really sure what to make of this and preparing himself for any violence.

“What’s going on?” he tried to appear masculine and confident, but he was just as confused and weary as I was. Feeling extra groggy now from my burst of excitement, I leaned onto Ian’s backside as the man who had ran up the street returned to his ill partner.

“We—we saw a thing! It took our friend!” he was shaking his hands out in front of us, taking a step towards Ian. My insides numbed, pressing my myself harder into Ian as if it could take back the words. “WE SAW IT! By the hills at the bottom of the mountain, we saw the thing take our friend…Oh my God!” I knotted my fingers into his shirt, hyperventilating at the news and growing overly worried for Nick. He was probably at the lake or wondering through the forest while this alien was on the loose.

“Wait, hold on… are you sure you know what you saw?” Ian pushed me back as he took a step away from them. He stiffened at the unpredictable movements of the man who was either crazy or drunk.

“Are you kidding? He got our friend—and he’ll get you too!” now it was getting personal. No one threatened the people I loved.

“Not if I say so” I growled, slipping around Ian to stand in between Ian and the two men. Ian grabbed me by the elbow, tucking back into his side from the aghast man. He still had his protective drive on me.

“Fine. We better go to the Province Center” Ian hesitantly approached the car that the two men were scrambling into. “It could be nothing” whispered Ian in my ear as we slipped into the backseat and buckled the seat belts. Someone had been taken—

            Their names were Jack and Michael. They had been racing up and down the mountain when one of the cars spun out of control and drove off the road. The driver, one of their friends, was soon to be kidnapped by an alien. Jack and Michael went to aid their friend when they saw an alien pulling him out of the car and upon seeing them, the alien raced over the hills with their friend. Frank sent some patrol cars to the spot, scanning the area but found no traces of the alien or the friend’s return.

            Ian was talking to the two guys still overly upset and disturbed in front of the Province Center. They were debating amongst themselves how they were going to tell his wife, who had just had a baby, about her husband’s kidnapping and unlikely return. I still had the picture of their lost friend floating in my head. A young man in his mid twenties with bright orange hair that lay in curls around his long face of peachy skin and freckles. His eyes of aloe shone brightly with his smile while holding a tiny baby girl swaddled in a pink blanket. If only he hadn’t been there, then he would have been waking up beside his wife and a timeless day with his daughter.

            My hands were shaking and my stomach was beginning to go rancid from the night of drinking and lack of sleep. My head felt it was about to explode since it felt as though a dozen jackhammers were chiseling away at my skull from the inside and out. The light of a an early morning was disgusting, squinting my eyes as a shield against dawn. Every noise was amplified, finding squeezing my head between my legs very effective on blocking out the loud, muffled sounds and most off the reminders of a disappointing night. In the sunken mist, I began to sob lividly at another victory and murder of the aliens who had stolen a husband, friend, father… and human being. Every part of me wanted him to be walking up the mountain without a scratch or worry with him and the alien to suffer as much as he has made others suffer.

            “Samantha, let’s go home” Ian yanked me into his arms from my wrists, I felt grotesquely sick so I let Ian escort me to the car and buckle me into the passenger seat next to him. My head lolled to the side in dizziness and nausea, the lightness in my head hadn’t gone away yet since I was still crying. “Don’t be sad. It will be fine, I’m sure they’ll find him or… “

“I’m mad!” I shrieked through my sniffles, wiping my tears with my fist and in my fury and kicked the glove box. “Those things” I gaped, too emotional to speak, and threw my face into my hands. “They—they took someone important. How’s his family going to go on without him? I don’t know the guy, but I know enough to know it’s going to be horrible” Ian patted my hand, waggling his head so he could meet my raining eyes.

“They’ll find him” my palm slapped the door handle, the thumping in my head was accelerating and there was nothing to ease it. I wanted to hit something, just to take some of the energy stored from frustration and force it out.

“Did anyone find me? They’re not going to find him! There’s nothing we can do” I leaned back, hiccupping as I looked out the window, closing my eyes from the blurs of trees and fog. The hiccups hurt, trying to hold my breath to keep my chest from bobbing and stifle the hiccups. My mouth felt like a dry river bed as my tongue glazed dryly over the tissue, remembering how the alcohol had flushed in with every gulp or sip, but always left me thirsty.

            “Sam you should eat more” the plate of spaghetti had more emotion then me, oozing on the decorative plate and swallowing my fork. The hangover had retreated over a long shower and nap, but I could still feel its mellow effect swimming in my blood. “Sam, are you feeling well?”

“I’m fine” I grunted, picking up the fork between two fingers and giving it a twirl to splatter sauce on the table, “Sorry” then decidedly began spinning it into the mass of noodles. I could feel everyone’s stare burning and scrutinizing me like a magnified glass. The sound of forks etching on plates and glasses clanking on the table had faded away so there was just air waiting to be penetrated with discussion or Nick slurping his pudding cup.

            I sighed, pushing the plate of spaghetti away with a half filled glass of water. It was an obstinate move that should have made Ian complain and thrust the plate back, but no one moved or spoke. The news of the kidnapping had dampened the mood, everything seemed to be going slow as if time was chugging through a tube of molasses. It was probably the fear that the aliens were growing curious and the possible threat of an invasion that stole everyone’s voice and slowed every movement.

            “Samantha” Ian shook my shoulder, disrupting my deep thought and mindless stare at the table. The plates had been cleared and the chairs were pushed in. The dinner party had been dismissed and I hadn’t heard it, too involved in my daydreams to keep attention. “Do you want to sleepover?”

“No, that’s alright. I’ve interrupted enough for today. Thank you for everything” the chair shrieked as I kicked myself back, walking to the door with Ian following closely behind me with a tampered step.

“Are you sure?” he dodged ahead of me, holding the doorknob without opening the door for me. “'Cause we don’t mind at all. Or you can stay a little longer?” I sighed, shaking my head. He opened the door slowly, the sky was bleeding ebony already. The clouds had been pushed aside and the warmth of the day had finally lapsed, giving cold a turn to rule the world.

“Bye, Ian”

“Wait!” I slowly turned from at the bottom of the steps just as Ian landed from his leap over them. He gave a glimpse to the sky and then returned to an attentive stare at me, “You’ll take in what I said, right?” he grimaced, shifting his footing in the doorway. “I got a call while you were sleeping. They found a trail of blood in the fields” my hands were clutching the hem of shirt, holding my breath and looking to the wooden bear still sitting on the porch. “You’ll be careful and go on the raid with me? You believe me now about the aliens, now?” images of the kidnapped man and relapse of the hours spent in a cramped office just waiting, stabbed my thoughts. I winced from Ian with a nod. “Okay, good. Good night Sam. Hurry home” I let the growing shadows hide me as I stomped through the forest over the crunchy leaves and pine needles. It sounded like I was parading through a field of potato chips with every step or twitch of my foot. I walked as slowly as possible so sunset could race ahead of me. The ball of fury that I had been storing up in the pit of my stomach began to grow until it spawned onto my limbs and overpowered personal thoughts and trampled any other emotions. The thought of the kidnapping was ravaging through me and the only logical incite I could pull from the clots of anger was that I needed to do something. If I didn’t, it would be Nick or Ian next.

            I was running—deeper and deeper into the expanding darkness until I could find something worth stopping for. An anemia coiled away from my head and detached itself from my limbs, thus completing the fearless and indestructible evolution. There was no voice in the back of my head telling me to go back where I could probably still see the light of Ian’s house or hesitance crawling onto my legs to keep me from running blindly through the forest with the risk of tripping or running into a tree where I would then be alone in the dark with the leakage of my blood. It felt so good to run, to not have any thoughts or regrets, to feel empowered and free… to be alone.

            There was no reason to stop and let my thoughts catch up when I knew somewhere, someone was mourning for their lost one.

             It scared me how easily life could be disrupted…especially when least expected.