chapter 50: feeling the aura of death

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Chapter 50

Feeling the aura of death

 

  

 

 

     She came home he next day. She entered the door and looked worn and weary, almost shriveled. It looked like the week she had been gone was years taken toll on her. She looked very bad. That only made my heart and thoughts sink lower.

     “Mom!” I said. “Are you ok? Are you sick or something?” Maybe that wasn’t the best choice of words, but it was all I could say. She was stunned by my first words. “No! Of course not! Why would you ask?” she said. “Because this paper I found says otherwise.” I said, and then handed her he report I had found. “Oh…..you mean this then.” she said. “Yeah, what is it then?” I asked. “Well Amber, its all correct.” she said with a sigh.

     “Why didn’t you tell one of us? Especially me!” I asked. “It only would have worried you. I only have but very few days to live.” she said, “I’m sorry.” She sounded pathetic. I didn’t know what to think. I had just gotten what I had always wanted when I found my mom, and now she won’t be around much longer? That was terrible news.

     “Now I’m going to rest for the night dear. I ach and I need rest.” She said. “But mom…..” I said to her. Almost like asking to finish the story. But there was nothing left to tell. There was nothing anyone could do for her now. Tears started for my dry eyes. “I know, I know, death waits for no one. But I’m tired, let me rest.” she said, and started to climb the stairway to her bed.

     I looked over at Derek with the tears started to drop. He knew I was about to run. “Midnight! Come!” I called. The tone in my voice alone made him jump up and to my side. Then I bolted out the door to somewhere unknown. Midnight obediently followed. Derek didn’t even try to stop me. He knew it was pointless to try and he also knew I would come back eventually. I just needed to be away to think.

Running through the dark in the forest with tears in my eyes and a canine at my side. What a familiar thing to me. I had done it many times before. I ran to Kilala’s village to se her. I ended up staying with her for the night. She comforted me, almost as if she knew what I was going through. Then again, I had never met Kilala’s mother before. Maybe she did know what I was going through then. I didn’t want to think about that though.

     I slept in the hut with her and Midnight slept at my side. I still don’t think anyone was looking for me. They did know I would come back sooner or later. I always did. It was the only predictable thing about me. But I bet they were still worried. I was so upset and sad again.

     Why was she going to be taken from me? What reason did God have for that? I just met her and now it was time to say goodbye? It shouldn’t have to be that way. All I did was pray, barely any sleep that night.

     I went home late the next morning. I entered through the door with Kilala to see my mother lying helplessly on the couch. The couch haunts me as it turned into her deathbed. She was barely holding on. Derek claimed she refused to die until she saw me one last time.

“Amber,” she called out in a weak voice, “come her daughter.” I did so. She grabbed my hand as I knelt down beside her. “There’s a box,” she started,” upstairs, in my room hidden in the all. There is something in it for you and Sammie. The combination is 12-19-30.” She took a deep breath after saying it. I listened closely.

     “You’ve suffered enough…..I know. Everything will be fine from now on. Do not worry about me. I can now die happy now, I found you again and had my final chance to see you.” She smiled, and I did too, tears now streaming down my pale face. “I love you Amber.” I sniffled. “I love you too mom.” Heart-warming. “Goodbye only for now~~~~~” then she faded away to somewhere else.

I put my head down on her chest as I still held her hand. The room was silent and the air was heavy. We all stood still and time was still too.

     We took her to the ancient Wulfin burial grounds after a sorrowful meeting with the chief. Even though she wasn’t a Wulfin Indian at al, they honored her all the same. They had there set the date and made her spot in the grounds. A centered place, decorated with the memoirs of her, me, and my father. She was buried right next to him. What a great thing they were able to do.

     The day came for burial, just the next day even all he preparations were made. We all went and the wooden coffin she lay in in the center of our circle. They all said their prayers and did what they needed to do by their Indian ways. I didn’t understand most of it, but I didn’t need to. Whatever they did was fine.

     They lowered her into the ground and then let the dirt roll back in. They covered it the rest the way. We all stood around to say our last goodbyes. After a while, it was all over. She was gone. It was over. I was sad, but her last words stood still in my head. She was right. Everything will be ok. It wasn’t a goodbye really. I knew I would see her again some day. But for then, I was just sad to see it go. But it would be ok someday. I knew it would.