Chapter 20: Relapse: survival

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Chapter 20

Relapse: surviving

 

  

 

     As I lay there on the ground, out cold, my old dreams of hope, wisdom, and happiness, were quickly and painfully doused and replaced by a thick layer of nightmares, fear, and dread that completely covered my mind. I was out on that spot for quite some time. The whole time, my senses were aware of my surroundings and everything. I just couldn’t respond or move.

     I constantly felt animal fur brushing against my exposed skin. I felt the wind and leaves fall over or on me. Even at one time, I could feel soft cold rain splattering as it hit me. The sun would weave through the clouds and I would have periods of warm sunrays shining on me and warming me up. Then other times, the sun would disappear behind the clouds, leaving me in the cold darkness.

     The whole time I could think freely and openly, but I still couldn’t react. Surprisingly, I didn’t worry about myself; I mainly worried about Derek and the animals. I really wondered why Derek hadn’t found me yet. Had he even looked? I thought something might have happened to him. But I didn’t know anything for sure. I hoped they were ok.

     After about at least four days, I did eventually come out of my small coma. First one eye opened, then the other lazily followed after. I slowly sat up and looked around. It took my eyes a minute to adjust after being shut for a while. No one was still around. Not Midnight, Sheilla, or Derek. Where were they?

     I stood up and stumbled a bit, then fell back down. I wasn’t able to stand, but I gathered every last bit of my strength and started to crawl. Well, at least you could call it crawling. I tried to make it the one hundred yards or so back to the cabin on the ground. The pain was tremendous as I dug my fingers into the wet dirt and dragged my self, inch by inch, back towards the cabin across the rocks and dirt.            

     Unfortunately, it was all I could do with having no strength. It was the biggest time when I wished that the situation would have just been over and I could have relaxed with no pain.

     As I crawled, my mind kick started and I was able to think clearly again. I was functioning a little unstable though, thanks to my searing wounds. My first thought was: I did this to myself, I feel like a monster! I seriously need some help.

     I continued to crawl, drawing closer and closer. I finally came to the door and was relieved to even have made it that far. I tried to bang on the door and yell for help. But all the banging was more like a muffled small thud and the yelling no more than a faded whisper.

     I was alone and afraid that death was near to come. No one answered to my small cries. That left me in a small wind of tears. I was really unstable then and my body was in terrible condition obviously. Things were definitely looking grim for me. But don’t feel too bad for me. I had to have survived obviously. I’m telling the story now aren’t I?

     It was a gruesome scene and one of the roughest times for me. I really believed that I was going to die. I was in terrible pain from cuts and was bleeding all over. I was even weak and starving. Brutality was my murderer, but will and God were my saviors.

     Unfortunately I passed back out in my mood there in front of the door. I did of course wake back up again. This time though I had more strength. I was actually able to open the door and go inside, by crawling of course. I pulled myself up onto the couch and lay there. Derek wasn’t in there though.

     I painstakingly reached over to the handcrafted table next to the couch and grabbed my PDO. I dialed his number as quick as my fingers would let me. I put it to my ear as it connected me to him. It rang several times, and finally, after a suspenseful build up, he answered my call.

     “Hello?” he answered in a frantic way. “Derek….. It’s me.” I said weakly, trailing off from my original thoughts. “Amber!” he yelled, “Where are you? Are you ok? What’s going on!?!” he asked. That was too many questions for me. My mind was over whelmed by it. I thought what to answer for a moment. “J…j…. just c...come h…ho…home. Ok?” I said slowly into the phone.

     He paused for a second, and said nothing. “Alright, I’ll hurry back. Your in the cabin, right?” he asked. “Yeah, I’m here now.” I told him. “Ok, don’t leave. I’m coming back as quick as I can, ok?” he asked. “Don’t worry, I won’t leave.” I said. As if I really could. I had troubles enough getting back. Nothing could possibly have motivated me to leave again from the cabin, unless it was on a stretcher.

     “Good,” he said, “I love you, just hang in there. Everything will be ok, I promise.” he said. It was an empty promise. But you’ll see that later. He hung up and I just dropped the phone. It hit the couch and then slid down onto the floor. I was too exhausted to put it back. It didn’t matter anyways.

     This was amazing to me: from a normal teenage girl living in the city with a great life and many friends, and very popular. To this, in pain and misery covered in wounds alone in the woods ready to die from trauma. Wow. That was a big step…. Up or down. I don’t know which one.

     Anyways, I had hoped that he came back soon. I didn’t know how long I would last. I still didn’t know where he was, but I had a feeling he was looking for me. I had hoped he would come soon. I fell asleep on the comfort of my couch. My only thought were: “hurry Derek, I need you badly now.”