Warring Sides

A poem describing how bipolar disorder manifests within me and what it feels like.

Warring Sides

5/20/15

 

Last night, sleep evaded me

Warring sides that won’t agree

One is locked in anxious thought

The other’s constantly distraught

 

Depression is a common curse

Same old song and same old verse

It often plagues the ones who know

The horrors a soul shoves below

 

Enjoyment seems so far away

Further out of reach each day

You spiral downwards, lost and drained

You hit rock bottom where you’re chained

 

Alone, this sinking feeling’s tough

Just one extreme should be enough

But then the spiral upward hits

You start to wish you were back in the pits

When mania takes hold of you

Impulsivity guides what you do

The misinformed believe you’re happy

When, overall, you just feel crappy

 

Sleeping is a thing of the past

Who knows how long that will last?

A racing mind of angry stress

A never ending game of chess

 

So, here I sit on sleepless nights

Trying to win a losing fight

You can’t really see your own spiral reverse

By the time you catch signs, you’re already immersed

 

Bipolar disorder’s a lifelong fight

Trying to hold your sanity tight

A constant search for the even keel

Your warring sides both jerking the wheel

Author's Note

I do understand that bipolar disorder manifests differently in different people. This poem describes how it manifests within me. I wrote and published this for those who can relate in order to let them know they are not alone.

Thank you for reading,
Amaris