Soldier

A sad poem.

Soldier

We call our men heroes after they're dead
After they've all been buried with stones at their heads
But years later we forget they existed
And a letter's in the mail saying a new boy's been enlisted

Crawling through grass with shots up ahead
The gun on his back feels as heavy as lead
The man on his right has fear in his eyes
Cause the enemy's waiting to end their lives

For the past few months he's been living in fear
As he wonders how the hell he even got here
Yesterday his best friend died in his arms
And reality him with terror and alarm

Now he's shaking as he lies there and waits
Driving away thoughts of what could be his fate
Sometimes he wonders why he bothers to try
Cause he knows he could well be the next one to die

Quick as a flash there's a shot from behind
And the pain's enough to make him go blind
He collapses to the ground as the last thing he hears
Is the loud ringing of fire in his ears

Now all he is is another white cross
Among all the others, his name becomes lost
He's one more of those heroes who fought for his life
A soldier whose purpose was only to fight

Reviews

[Confuser]

Amaris: I enjoyed it very much! It has great imagery, flows well throughout, thinking of the death of a soldier in war brings forth loads of emotion, and it is very sad. I thought it was very good writing. Thank you so very much. Keep writing. Dale

[CC Faye]

There are lines in some stanzas that are not in rhyme, like this line. 'And reality him with terror and alarm'
The poem is more like a short story and it's simple to understand, though there wasn't any excitement or any style in this point.
Try to wrap things up, and give the poem a little boost. The poem's story is common, so try to add something that is different.
The poem is a little rushed.
The character was just thinking of how scared he is because he's going to be in the battlefield, and quick as a flash, an enemy shot him dead, so try to slow things down and explain his adventure before he got shot.

Good luck and improve this poem!

[DeathIsRelease]

I like how your poem starts off with criticism and then you talk about the letter and I get a little confused but I keep reading to find that your writing a story about a boy. I love how you brutally bring a cruel, scary reality to life and then end with a ruthless, crushing ending. Even though there was no hope the sadness of the last 2 stanzas still has an impressive impact. I really liked your poem good work :-)

[Alfred Kukitz]

I was thinking of my uncle while I read this poem. He fell at St. Lo, France 30 July 1944. He's buried in France at the Normandy cemetery. I'll visit him this year.

I sometimes wonder why I did not die in Vietnam. The finality is devestating.

Regards,
Al

[Amaris Grove]

I am truly sorry for your loss.

[Devanshu Rajput]

A great tribute for those martyrs who sacrifice their live for the sake of their countrymen. It is indeed the irony of our world that, we often forget the names of those soldiers.

Your piece is a magnificent piece of writing.

My humble regards,
Devanshu

[Amaris Grove]

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

You are welcome.....

Devanshu

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem told a sad truth. My father talked to dead friends when drunk lost in the Korea war. Even as a child. I felt his sadness. I followed my father footsteps. Learning war steal a part of us that can't be returned. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Amaris Grove]

Thank you. I've never been in the military, but have known a bunch of current military and veterans. I'm actually dating a marine veteran right now. I wrote this back when I was roughly 16 though, before I really spoke with anyone in detail about war, so I'm not entirely sure what sparked this piece.

[Coyote Poetry]

Television, real life and people had known war. Many teachers for us. The poem create place and thoughts for the reader.

[Amaris Grove]

I am glad my piece is relatable. Most of what I write reflects my personal feelings at the time, but sometimes I write to inspire or bring attention to what I feel are important topics.