Afraid

A brief over view of why i feel the way i do. This is what i can blam without hearing an 'Its not true"

I have always feared Love

Always feared Touch

Scarred as a child by a horrific way of touching

Touched by someone whom I did not love.

Night fall came everyone shut there eyes ready to gaze into a peaceful sleep

My night came with horror

I shut my eyes not to fall into my dreams but to ease the pain, to remember life before this moment

Long hours of the night I sat there and endured what a child should never

Wishing this moment wouldn’t last.

Opening my eyes when it was all finished to see invisible scares which only my eyes could see

A man who scares a child is in no way a Man.

I have always feared Love

Always feared Touch

10 years later

Many guys later

I still carry the scares

Scares of an unwanted touch on my flesh

I live blind by the torment

I am not able to see true reality.

They say “I love”

They want to touch my flesh as they once did

Those words were always a time machine for me

All I do is run

I can never trust again

I have always feared Love

Always feared Touch

Guys come and go

All I have to blame are the scars

Can they really be seen?

Can you smell the touch of the mans figures on my skin?

Was it the hotness of his breath on the side of my face running up my ear?

What was wrong with me 10 years later?

I have always feared Love

Always feared Touch

Guilt falls upon my shoulders

I will never find love

The scares will follow me

This is who I will be

I will always fear Love

I will always fear Touch

Author's Note

Im not a writer, i find it hard to put my ideas together to make it understandable. I just throw what i feel in sentences.

Reviews

[Apatheia]

This is really well penned. From what I read it's totally understandable how you (or the person in this poem) feels. Some scars are invisible, but like most scars they'll either go away or fade into something you can work with. Thank you for sharing.