Afraid

A brief over view of why i feel the way i do. This is what i can blam without hearing an 'Its not true"

I have always feared Love

Always feared Touch

Scarred as a child by a horrific way of touching

Touched by someone whom I did not love.

Night fall came everyone shut there eyes ready to gaze into a peaceful sleep

My night came with horror

I shut my eyes not to fall into my dreams but to ease the pain, to remember life before this moment

Long hours of the night I sat there and endured what a child should never

Wishing this moment wouldn’t last.

Opening my eyes when it was all finished to see invisible scares which only my eyes could see

A man who scares a child is in no way a Man.

I have always feared Love

Always feared Touch

10 years later

Many guys later

I still carry the scares

Scares of an unwanted touch on my flesh

I live blind by the torment

I am not able to see true reality.

They say “I love”

They want to touch my flesh as they once did

Those words were always a time machine for me

All I do is run

I can never trust again

I have always feared Love

Always feared Touch

Guys come and go

All I have to blame are the scars

Can they really be seen?

Can you smell the touch of the mans figures on my skin?

Was it the hotness of his breath on the side of my face running up my ear?

What was wrong with me 10 years later?

I have always feared Love

Always feared Touch

Guilt falls upon my shoulders

I will never find love

The scares will follow me

This is who I will be

I will always fear Love

I will always fear Touch

Author's Note

Im not a writer, i find it hard to put my ideas together to make it understandable. I just throw what i feel in sentences.

Reviews

[Ahmad Cox]

Thank you for posting this poem. I could feel the emotion in every line

[unshakenScene]

this really tells about the pain and its good

[Rufus "Mr Blaque" Lacy,..]

This poem really shows the pain of a past incident that can live with you forever, its tough to overcome a serious tragedy. You how expressed the pain very well, lovely writing and troubling imagery at the same time.

[emmajoy]

I can't and won't analyse the writing here .. but can comment about the torment you've written about. Tis tragic sad, dear woman, and how i'd like to think that writing about such a lifetime's sadness you just might, maybe, have exorcised some of your pain. You show amazing courage and that in itself is proof that there's true light deep inside you.

'I have always feared Love ~ Always feared Touch ~ Guilt falls upon my shoulders ~ I will never find love'

You say you're not a writer, you are, believe me - you are.

[Ees]

I haven't read it yet. I just scrolled down and read the "Author's Note" and I just want to say that for some reason poems that are broken into stanzas are easier for me to read and understand. I am really sensitive to format, though... Now I am going to go read it for real!

"Scared as a child by a horrific way of touching"- did you mean scared or did you mean scarred? Scarred sounds more natural, but scared works too.


"Night fall came everyone shut there eyes ready to gaze into a peaceful sleep" Try:
Nightfall came-
everyone shut their eyes, ready to gaze into a peaceful sleep". Those are just the words that you wrote, reformatted a bit, one spelling change and a comma added. The imagery that it paints is very powerful- to close eyes and gaze into sleep- very strong!

Yeah, you misspelled scars as scared- just a typo thing, but important in this poem!

The poem is brave and it is very strong. It just needs a few fixes, like in the spelling errors, possibly in separating it out into a few stanzas and looking at the words you chose to use, because sometimes your language gets a bit repetitive.
Great job on getting it out and conveying it in a poem that was easy to foillow.

good job,
Erin

[Allycat]

Such a meaningful and emotional piece, I really enjoyed it.
great work!

[Tree]

I think you did a good job, expressing yourself. This was deep, painful
and powerful. Writing can be a healing thing. It has been for me. Keep writing.

Diego

[Brittany DeFranco]

This is very emotional and meaningful, I love it

[That_Guy]

powerful write. Your fears would absolutely be justified. I hate to quote Justin Bieber.... but... Never say never