Lost love

I once had a wife,a beautiful daughter, we lived in eastern France, it was 1988 and I had recently bought us a huge villa with glass doors and luxurious furniture right at the sea shore, me and Ella would hold hands and walk up to the balcony and just watch the calm blue waters sleep under the shady clouds that hid the sun above the horizon. 

Our 6 year old baby girl was at school and I was alone with the love of my life, I felt her soft cold hand in mine. "Steph, I love you" She said unexpectedly. i watched the waves splashing over each other below. The ocean seemed infinite from were I stood and it was so blue. "that's why we're married" I gave her a friendly punch with my free hand, she laughed and pressed her hands tightly within mine, something was odd about her and I was starting to get suspicious, I took control of her arm and walked back into our bedroom, the curtains danced over the frames of the opened glass door, it was starting to get windy outside, I released her hands and sat at the edge of our bed, she stood infront of me covering the entire window/door. 

"I need to tell you something Steph and it's serious" She kneeled infront of me brushing her palm on my bearded cheek, she looked up at me, her eyes wide opened and her eyebrows were elevated. 

she wore this diamond collar I bought her last year when I arrived from Chicago, it made her big blue eyes glow . After a long pause of silence I realised they weren't just glowing, tears were filling them up. "when you were away last month on that business trip to Istanbul, I met a man... He helped me with the groceries back at the centre of the city then... We talked.. And he was nice to me so we exchanged phone numbers infront of the store." She took a long sigh, I got up and walked up to the window as I placed two fingers between my now closed eyes giving her my back. I was a heartbeat away from jumping over the balcony into the ocean but her sweet feminine voice spoke again. "the next week I met him infront of Eliza's school, we laughed and... It all..." She rotated her palms as she got up to her feet trying to find a simpler way to tell her husband that she cheated on him. "get your stuff and leave my house" I interrupted her maintaining my cool. She stood were she was in her blue silk dress that sparkled, her short hair refused to reach her shoulders but it suited her circled face. 

She wore a giant pink hat that put her forehead in shadows. She looked at me and I was losing my temper. "Steph baby I just confessed and Im sorry it won't happened again" She pleaded gently placing her hand on my cheek once more. I pushed her towards the bed. "get the f**k out!" "and you're never laying eyes om Eliza again. She mine!" I snapped, my green trousers and my untied shirt that exposed my tanktop made me look like a badass. "after all these twenty years" Her voice cracked, silent tears walked down her pale cheeks as she laid across the width of the bed looking at me, I scanned her along with the edges of the bed. 

"I was always loyal to you!" She yelled pressing he long finger against her chest. She got up and walked out of the room leaving me standing with my thoughts , I turned around washing my face with my palm as i gazed at the ocean through the opened glass door from within the room. This was my third marriage that ended like this, maybe I was just too rich and too soft. I refused to believe that, I rushed outside the bedroom grabbed her before she turned to walk down the stairs "you think I'm soft huh, that you could take advantage of me?" I whispered, our eyes locked, she screamed and shouted at me to let her go. "you wanna go?!" I yelled at her sweet little face as I pushed her down the luxorious stairway , 

I watched her dive in slow motion through thin air. The sound of the tremendous impact got me back to my consciousness. she had fallen to the first floor, I watched her blood as it slowly painted the wooden floor beneath her head In black, her eyes wer wide opened and her lips were all of a sudden dry and far away from each other like her legs and her arms. I dropped both my knees to the floor and watched my wife's corpse from above the stairs. I cried as I drowned in my confused emotions when the door bell rang. I felt my heart thump at every single part of my body, I was weak.

Reviews

[Dante Carlisle]

My first question is why you need to put the year in there? It seems like an added bit of trivia that we don't need to know. If you decide to add a timestamp to the story, tell us the general timeframe through setting and the references in the story.

I definitely enjoyed this. The way you paint the setting is fantastic, and needs no tuning to tell the truth. There are a few grammatical issues and typos, but nothing serious that take away from the story.

One critique I could think of is take away some of your description from the dialogue. You don't need to tell us how they were talking to each other or reacting. You showed us perfectly.

Your protagonist went from zero to sixty in no time flat. Perhaps give us a bit more time to chew on his emotions. Show him breaking something, or displaying his confusion before it flashes to rage.

Some food for thought. In all honesty, this one definitely hit me and I enjoyed it. Keep writing.

[Otro1]

i really admire your reviews

[Dante Carlisle]

Thank you for the feedback. I try to review the way I'd like people to review mine.

[Quinn W]

I'm so glad this is fictional! I was really scared for a second until I read a previous comment. I like that this is an individual scene and that you gave a little background at the beginning. Loved it!

[Otro1]

Thank you really appreciate your comment :D

[Jack]

Great story overall. Your descriptions are beautiful and the ending was great(very sad).
However there are a lot of capitalization errors through your entire piece. Great story though!

[Otro1]

thank you, i'm so glad you enjoyed it. Anything to please my readers.

[Dust That Drifts Throug..]

I really love this story. This one hit me. You captured the emotion between the two of them.

[Gloomy Child]

Is this real? I went through something like this and it sucks.

[Otro1]

lol, no its pure fiction but i really hope you liked it. and im sorry if anything like this happened to you...

[Otro1]

should i continue? feel free to review or comment.