Moods

sit there, arms folded about your knees

sit there and sulk

and still you are beautiful even when your mood

settles on your face like bad makeup

your glances dance with the fire of your anger

and your tongue spews threats and accusations

but your beauty shields me from all harm

and i find wonder even in your wrath

 

cry. . . . blackmail me with tears knowing my heart

is your ransom already paid

advertise your disappointment with a trembling lip

and sniff your sadness with jerky breaths

you will soon want refuge in my arms

and rest your head on my shoulder asking for promises

then there will be crumpled sheets and anguished gasps

as you lock me within your legs and lift your eyes to god

 

pout . . . .  no offense is greater than one against you

you know you seduce with a look over your shoulder

you use your beauty as a weapon and you invade at will

if i refuse, countless hearts are waiting for you to happen in

come, let us pretend again that all is well

and you can move upon me with clenched teeth

and whimper before you collapse upon my chest and lie about love

and i can believe it again and cherish a hope about someday

Reviews

[Tex]

I loved this.

Having dyslexia and having given up on learning in school I can not speak to construct, but I can speak to honesty, truth, the emotion the piece brings to the fore for me. It is all there.

The layers of dysfunction in this are fascinating. In my mind I see a man older than his lover, somewhat chauvinistic, dealing with his lover in a somewhat condescending way. But before we get a chance to feel sorry for her we learn that she is manipulative and uses her charms to get what she needs from the relationship. The two dance their dysfunctional dance in perfect step, it is a dance they have created and they know the steps well. All the same the lingering doubt remains, the truth can not be avoided. They are pretending. He is hoping, we get a sense of longing for honesty and something more authentic. We are left to wonder, is she playing him or does she feel the same? And, would he change the steps to this dance if given the opportunity?

Wonderful. Just pulls you right in.

If this is who you are... then how painful it must have been for you to review my poem. Thank you for being so nice about it.

[DrD]

Nicholas, I have become calloused to difficult things because yes, this is who I am. I am also very grateful for your marvelous review and insights.

[Joshua W. Harris]

A very good piece to direct me to indeed. This is indeed more of the same that I was hoping for. It seems I may have found a treasure mine in your work, good sir.
The way you capture this exchange--this fight for control, is amazing. I can picture every line, and it holds till the last word. Beautiful piece indeed. =]

[DrD]

Thank you, Joshua. I'm pleased that you are enjoying my poor efforts

[Tree]

The final surrender. Beautifully expressed, and expertly written. This is why we write and read poetry, to capture or imagine what can be so fleeting. Fluid like water, or sand between our fingers. Thank you for sharing

[DrD]

Thank you, Diego. Your visit is appreciated and I hope you return soon

[emmajoy]

'blackmail me with tears knowing my heart ~ is your ransom already paid; ~ pray that hope is repaid a million-fold.

You know, if too many women read this wonderful flow of 'I can see all your guiles and flaws but, grief, how i love you', they could take over the world!
For a man to see so much yet accept it all in the hope of completion.. one fine day, somewhere over the ..

Your words wrap around the meaning of love, open hearted, open minded, utterly realistic .. and bewitched. And you know it.

[DrD]

I had a great teacher. Thanks, Emma. I needed that.

[emmajoy]

Hope i haven't seemed presumptuous.

[DrD]

Not at all, I am indeed flattered not only by your words but by your visit. Please come again very soon

[emmajoy]

I will.

[LA Lorena]

One to read and re-read again and again. You brought this piece to life with vivid imagery, subtle nuance and honest emotion. A most sad, but truly lovely write, this is. I appreciate poetry that is unpretentious, emotive and eloquent.

The characters here live in their own vacuum,playing their parts, reading their lines, every performance the same as the one before, yet somehow expecting that the final act may end differently. It's the human condition. Is he an optimist or delusional, I guess it all depends on the reader's perspective.

[DrD]

I'm so glad to see you here Lorena (I'm glad it's not La Llorona!) and your words are deeply appreciated. Please visit again soon as I will your work.

[MachinaWriter]

I'm breathless. Really, honestly, truly, undeniably breathless at the total honesty of this poem. I have been here more than once. Way too many times, actually, and you put it in the best words possible. I can't even describe how much I connected to this. If you could see me, you'd know, because my fingers are typing a hundred miles per hour to put out this review lol I can't even quote a favorite part, because I'd have to copy and paste the whole poem. I know this relationship. You put in elegant words what I put in angry words in my poem Femme Fatale. Love this and I wish I could have accomplished the same thing in as few words. Thank you for sharing this. Already a lifelong fan, just by reading this poem.

[DrD]

And I will be your lifelong host, thank you so much.

[not here]

I think I will look to you and your writing for continued motivation to practice my own. Clearly you are a polished wordsmith and deft imagist.
Thanks for sharing

[DrD]

Thank you, WS. I appreciate your visit

[victoria]

so wonderfully worded, ''...beautiful even when your mood settles on your face like bad make-up..glances dance with the fire of your anger...'' fantastic, I could see these things. I love such poetry as brilliant as this that depicts the dramatic enactments found in our flawed relationships where we ''lie about love'' so beautifully sad DrD.

[DrD]

You're very kind, Victoria and I'm glad to have you back visiting me

[Daniel Eckert]

A very... moody piece *pun intended*. I enjoyed the read. A very well thought out and extremely well written piece. Thank you for sharing.

[DrD]

Thank you for your visit, Daniel.

[kimmy]

Wow this was another great piece that you have written. There is so much emotion in this one, I have to admit some of it hit home. As my husband tells me all the time no matter how angry or sad I am I still look beautiful, I know when I have gotten mad I have said some things that I shouldnt have. This was so much emotion running through it and it was great.
I am so glad that I came and read this one:)

[DrD]

And I'm so glad that you came to visit. Please return soon.

[william keepers]

Beautifully sad, for it reminds me far too well of my marriage that ended about three years ago. For the last three or four years of it we hoped for "someday", but of course it never came...
Your metaphors are simple, yet so rich and colourful as to make this poem unquestionably real. How perfectly you have captured the cycle of love lies and hope that come out in a relationship that started passionately, but has gone on too long.
If I may perceive, I understand this as the love between two hoarders; they can't let go of the passion at the beginning, they can't let go of the baggage acumulated and they can't let go of each other. The cycle continues...

[DrD]

I appreciate your visit, William and your kind words