Moods

sit there, arms folded about your knees

sit there and sulk

and still you are beautiful even when your mood

settles on your face like bad makeup

your glances dance with the fire of your anger

and your tongue spews threats and accusations

but your beauty shields me from all harm

and i find wonder even in your wrath

 

cry. . . . blackmail me with tears knowing my heart

is your ransom already paid

advertise your disappointment with a trembling lip

and sniff your sadness with jerky breaths

you will soon want refuge in my arms

and rest your head on my shoulder asking for promises

then there will be crumpled sheets and anguished gasps

as you lock me within your legs and lift your eyes to god

 

pout . . . .  no offense is greater than one against you

you know you seduce with a look over your shoulder

you use your beauty as a weapon and you invade at will

if i refuse, countless hearts are waiting for you to happen in

come, let us pretend again that all is well

and you can move upon me with clenched teeth

and whimper before you collapse upon my chest and lie about love

and i can believe it again and cherish a hope about someday

Reviews

[Tex]

I loved this.

Having dyslexia and having given up on learning in school I can not speak to construct, but I can speak to honesty, truth, the emotion the piece brings to the fore for me. It is all there.

The layers of dysfunction in this are fascinating. In my mind I see a man older than his lover, somewhat chauvinistic, dealing with his lover in a somewhat condescending way. But before we get a chance to feel sorry for her we learn that she is manipulative and uses her charms to get what she needs from the relationship. The two dance their dysfunctional dance in perfect step, it is a dance they have created and they know the steps well. All the same the lingering doubt remains, the truth can not be avoided. They are pretending. He is hoping, we get a sense of longing for honesty and something more authentic. We are left to wonder, is she playing him or does she feel the same? And, would he change the steps to this dance if given the opportunity?

Wonderful. Just pulls you right in.

If this is who you are... then how painful it must have been for you to review my poem. Thank you for being so nice about it.

[DrD]

Nicholas, I have become calloused to difficult things because yes, this is who I am. I am also very grateful for your marvelous review and insights.

[quinfinn]

one can always tell when they are reading the art of an accomplished and gifted writer and there is certainly no doubt within me that you are indeed one of those wonderful and prolific beings who can weave a treasure with nothing more than wit, gall and absolute honesty. there is magic in your words and you have crafted this work superbly. i felt, quite deeply, every last line in this. the advantage of age and wisdom is a marvelous tool for poetry and other arts. excellent!

[DrD]

Your words are comforting and deeply appreciated, Quinfinn

[quinfinn]

oh, i shall be reading more of your poetry, and will watch for new postings as well!

[Coyote Poetry]

A woman can control a man. Make him feel sadness even when he didn't do anything wrong. I like the photo and the description in each set of lines. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[DrD]

Thank you, Coyote

[Eve]

I have died and gone to poetry heaven, that is all I can say about this beautiful write.

[DrD]

You're very kind, Myth. One day someone will write one like this for you

[_mal]

This is a great piece. I haven't read anything like it before, the different sides to both of your emotions and the relationship, the worry and admiration and all the rest. Very powerful, (especially the end of the second stanza)

[stimey]

"and still you are beautiful even when your mood
settles on your face like bad makeup"

just one of the great lines in this. you got to the guts of this one.

[Dr. Wood ?]

well this is wonderful Dr

The wiles of a woman expertly described

[Becca Bishop]

Not something I'd usually read because of them *ahem* mature content. I'm anything but mature. But this was actually pretty okay compared to some of the other stuff I've read.

Let's see....so many things to say, such a short attention span!!! Curses!!! Ok, well, to start off, I love the way you began the poem with something that would seem so unromantic, but suddenly becomes romaticish through your words. "But your beauty shields me from all harm/And I find wonder even in your wrath"
Spectacular. The only thing people ever say to me when I'm angry is "Go take a chill pill, sheesh!!" Anyway, off subject...HOORAY FOR DISTRACTIONS!!!

Loved the first lines of the second stanza :) so sweet. I try to pretend otherwise but I'm a hopeless romantic and when I first read those lines I sighed.

Great, now I sound all girly. Skip over what you just read!!! Erase it from memory!! I'm very embarrassed now....

So good job! I was a little leery of reading it at first but I'm glad I did. You did an excellent - yes excellent, I said it and I'll say it again - EXCELLENT EXCELLENT EXCELLENT!!!! job of portraying the emotions of the two people in the poem to the point where I almost felt like I was there in their heads. Great job!!!! Fantastic write!!!