Moods

sit there, arms folded about your knees

sit there and sulk

and still you are beautiful even when your mood

settles on your face like bad makeup

your glances dance with the fire of your anger

and your tongue spews threats and accusations

but your beauty shields me from all harm

and i find wonder even in your wrath

 

cry. . . . blackmail me with tears knowing my heart

is your ransom already paid

advertise your disappointment with a trembling lip

and sniff your sadness with jerky breaths

you will soon want refuge in my arms

and rest your head on my shoulder asking for promises

then there will be crumpled sheets and anguished gasps

as you lock me within your legs and lift your eyes to god

 

pout . . . .  no offense is greater than one against you

you know you seduce with a look over your shoulder

you use your beauty as a weapon and you invade at will

if i refuse, countless hearts are waiting for you to happen in

come, let us pretend again that all is well

and you can move upon me with clenched teeth

and whimper before you collapse upon my chest and lie about love

and i can believe it again and cherish a hope about someday

Reviews

[Tex]

I loved this.

Having dyslexia and having given up on learning in school I can not speak to construct, but I can speak to honesty, truth, the emotion the piece brings to the fore for me. It is all there.

The layers of dysfunction in this are fascinating. In my mind I see a man older than his lover, somewhat chauvinistic, dealing with his lover in a somewhat condescending way. But before we get a chance to feel sorry for her we learn that she is manipulative and uses her charms to get what she needs from the relationship. The two dance their dysfunctional dance in perfect step, it is a dance they have created and they know the steps well. All the same the lingering doubt remains, the truth can not be avoided. They are pretending. He is hoping, we get a sense of longing for honesty and something more authentic. We are left to wonder, is she playing him or does she feel the same? And, would he change the steps to this dance if given the opportunity?

Wonderful. Just pulls you right in.

If this is who you are... then how painful it must have been for you to review my poem. Thank you for being so nice about it.

[DrD]

Nicholas, I have become calloused to difficult things because yes, this is who I am. I am also very grateful for your marvelous review and insights.

[Audrey Howitt]

You captured the devastating sadness of a love like this. I wish I could say that I can't really relate to it, but that would be an untruth--I love the gritty honesty in this write

[DrD]

Thank you for visiting, Audrey, your kind words are appreciated.

[PP]

"if i refuse, countless hearts are waiting for you to happen in
come, let us pretend again that all is well"
If I happen to really understand what you intend to say, I think it's a very fine example of a classic pun! I love this piece. It's amazing in every way. It kind of takes you to an escape route of mesmerising beauty and sensuality, followed by hard compromise. Awesome!

[DrD]

Prathama, if you only knew how much your comments are appreciated. Thank you very much.

[KarinaT]

Starts playfully and with acceptance of female stroppy and temperamental behaviour - then the last four lines.... This is ever so good and takes you through a range of emotions and moments of recognition. I can see I need to read more of your work

[DrD]

Thanks, Karina, just please don't read my crazy work

[KarinaT]

Crazy work sounds good to me. Point me in the right direction please :-)

[Faffy]

this poem reminds me of some of my old friends,

sit there, arms folded about your knees
sit there and sulk
and still you are beautiful even when your mood
settles on your face like bad makeup
your glances dance with the fire of your anger
and your tongue spews threats and accusations
but your beauty shields me from all harm
and i find wonder even in your wrath

this back countless flashbacks and even more sad memories as i watch my friend but back to happier stories! it is a beautifully written poem with the emotion and imagery to match.

Great read =)

-roshan

[DrD]

Thank you, Roshan. I appreciate you and your comments

[Faffy]

you are most certainly welcome =)

[J. J. Nightingale]

I was once forgiven
And not one word was spoken ..

I understood so much more of Him
Each and every time I sinned ..

Sorry I went somewhere ..
The sun never sat on my anger .. or his
And nothing ever came between the one ..

This is good, but you already know ...
A tear falls remembering .. thank you David ... xxx J.

[DrD]

And they always will, Jazz. That's simply how it is . . . .

[J. J. Nightingale]

xxx J.

[David Scott]

Manipulation and passive agression! I hate it... I mean I love it... I mean stop it... I mean go away... I mean come back... Oh God! How frustrating and wonderful all at the same time.
Loved the poetry here!

[Ees]

There is somebody that I know who can make me angry, make me pout and make faces. Then he looks at me and smiles and tells me that it's cute when I look like that. This poem reminds me of that. It must just be one of those things... it's a rather manly take. It is a perspective that seems unique (in what I have noticed) to men.

This line is amazing: "as you lock me within your legs and lift your eyes to god"

"if i refuse, countless hearts are waiting for you to happen in"- I think that this line could be stronger. I like the content, but I think the arrangement of words weakens it. Perhaps leave off the "happen in". I don't find it necessary to what you are saying and it maybe those words that were impeding the line a little bit in my opinion.

The last few lines were so sad, I wasn't expecting them.
Good job, I enjoyed reading this.

[DrD]

Thank you, Ees. I have to take another look at this one.

[†Tracey†]

Who doesn't dream of falling into the arms of acceptance and finding peace and unconditional love..xo This is one beauty..

[DrD]

Thanks for your visit, Tracey and please return soon.

[Markus Anthony]

i love it.

[DrD]

Thank yu, Markus

[Muse]

and still you are beautiful even when your mood
settles on your face like bad makeup

My two favorite lines. Like wearing a frown that taints a smile...smudged mascara after a good cry. All of this is evidence of heart-ache and hurt. There's solace and beauty in your words. Almost as if you are accepting your lover for all of her faults..and for all of her charms. You know that she creates wrath...but you still love that jaded heart.

[DrD]

Thank you for coming here, Muse. Love is acceptance, loving for who the person is in their entirity and becoming wondrously blind.