Having dyslexia and having given up on learning in school I can not speak to construct, but I can speak to honesty, truth, the emotion the piece brings to the fore for me. It is all there.
The layers of dysfunction in this are fascinating. In my mind I see a man older than his lover, somewhat chauvinistic, dealing with his lover in a somewhat condescending way. But before we get a chance to feel sorry for her we learn that she is manipulative and uses her charms to get what she needs from the relationship. The two dance their dysfunctional dance in perfect step, it is a dance they have created and they know the steps well. All the same the lingering doubt remains, the truth can not be avoided. They are pretending. He is hoping, we get a sense of longing for honesty and something more authentic. We are left to wonder, is she playing him or does she feel the same? And, would he change the steps to this dance if given the opportunity?
Wonderful. Just pulls you right in.
If this is who you are... then how painful it must have been for you to review my poem. Thank you for being so nice about it.
Posted 12 Years Ago
3 of 3 people found this review constructive.
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
12 Years Ago
Nicholas, I have become calloused to difficult things because yes, this is who I am. I am also very .. read moreNicholas, I have become calloused to difficult things because yes, this is who I am. I am also very grateful for your marvelous review and insights.
Compartment 114
Compartment 114
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Absolutely fabulous! Not tripping while I read, wording and rythem where perfect. Your a smart man~ it shows in this and in you very true words... There isn't a lot a woman doesn't premeditate expecially a fit, or sulk i hopes of a spacific result. Thank you for sharing this wonderful peice
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Oh, I know the guiles of women, Bette, and I'm a sucker for each of them. Thanks so much for your v.. read moreOh, I know the guiles of women, Bette, and I'm a sucker for each of them. Thanks so much for your visit and please return soon.
Wow, great wisdom in this write, experience is a great teacher and for young writers like me, it is an absolute delight to read works like this. I'm glad I decided to read your work; I'll be reading more...great write!!
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Thank you very much, Sid and please do visit again soon
from 3 to 90 there is no doubt a heart can be wrapped with a smile and a kiss :) and or the lack there of. what a great poem with a steady pace and a smooth rhyme, and a heart that is willing.
I love this. I love seeing that women can still affect men - I'm sorry if that sounds incredibly mean. I mean it the best way possible. This is truly amazing.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Do they affect them? No. They absorb them, possess them, devour them until all that is left is this.. read moreDo they affect them? No. They absorb them, possess them, devour them until all that is left is this. Thanks, Jo. I appreciate your visit.
The nuances of mood, which u have elicited in various contours, are surely perceptive and reflects what women (though not all women) tend to do. 'Sulk', 'cry', 'pout' and the act of remonstrating has been given another deep meaning to it in your verse, because you, as a narrator, have given your perspective with an imperturbable contentment and devotion towards that 'beautiful woman'.
When one can sense that a particular woman is truly beautiful, she cannot be evaded even while she appears to be a vixen.
As it is said, "Hell has no wrath like a women scorned." Her temper is shown to be cured here anyway.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Thank you, Reeti, for your visit and your kind words
You call me a boxer, but still you knock me out with one quick punch. I have much to learn.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
We all have much to learn, Jon, the trick is to feel enough to have something worth writing about. .. read moreWe all have much to learn, Jon, the trick is to feel enough to have something worth writing about. Sometimes that hurts like hell but it makes poets of us.
wonderful work! it made me laugh as well.... I can think of many situations where men have encountered such a charming creature... the beautiful woman who can move the world and you are powerless to stop it.. what can you do when all you want is to be inside that beauty, to touch it and live it... you have an amazing way with descriptions, this was compelling, honest and brilliantly written.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
How content you must be to possess such power, Circe (aptly named, no?) But I confess your comments.. read moreHow content you must be to possess such power, Circe (aptly named, no?) But I confess your comments are true and I have been amply subjected to the wiles that held me prisoner for years. Thanks for your visit.
I can empathise with the internal conflict... you have effectively captured some of the complexities.. read moreI can empathise with the internal conflict... you have effectively captured some of the complexities in the emotional power plays between the male/female love relationship... I'm not an expert myself.. but I would desire the power to turn men into swine :P
12 Years Ago
Oh, but we're already swine. The great woman makes men of us again.
12 Years Ago
yes, that is the making of legends :)
Being here and reading your philosophic words almost written to a grand daughter (as for me it reads that way) are uplifting and beautiful, pure and honest. One can reread after years, and still have been cured by your words.
I'm just a guy living in Mexico. I am the author of SMITH COUNTY JUSTICE (horribly over priced) and some other books you can find in my photos. or at my website:
http://auth18.wix.com/david-e.. more..