Having dyslexia and having given up on learning in school I can not speak to construct, but I can speak to honesty, truth, the emotion the piece brings to the fore for me. It is all there.
The layers of dysfunction in this are fascinating. In my mind I see a man older than his lover, somewhat chauvinistic, dealing with his lover in a somewhat condescending way. But before we get a chance to feel sorry for her we learn that she is manipulative and uses her charms to get what she needs from the relationship. The two dance their dysfunctional dance in perfect step, it is a dance they have created and they know the steps well. All the same the lingering doubt remains, the truth can not be avoided. They are pretending. He is hoping, we get a sense of longing for honesty and something more authentic. We are left to wonder, is she playing him or does she feel the same? And, would he change the steps to this dance if given the opportunity?
Wonderful. Just pulls you right in.
If this is who you are... then how painful it must have been for you to review my poem. Thank you for being so nice about it.
Posted 12 Years Ago
3 of 3 people found this review constructive.
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
12 Years Ago
Nicholas, I have become calloused to difficult things because yes, this is who I am. I am also very .. read moreNicholas, I have become calloused to difficult things because yes, this is who I am. I am also very grateful for your marvelous review and insights.
I love the way this poem shows the power that her beauty gives and how she uses it to manipulate him, as she knows that her beauty makes his love unconditional.
I very much enjoyed reading this, your work is always full of emotions that reach out to it's readers.
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
Thank you, Zoe. It's great to have readers like you.
Not for nothing it is said men and women are fools in love. Such a powerful honest write, we all manipulators in a way , hoping to get our way , how many men and women know they are not truly loved. lovely write.
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
Thank you, Moon, and welcome to my worle of words. You are always welcome here
Mastered with perfection !
This was written by a Master Writer/Crafter
Perfect Rythmn . Matching the setting of sarcastic tone, but all said will a Loving heart.
Written with purity and perfect capture with words displaying his understanding, His Love for her is not shaken by her words or actions, knowing she doesn't mean a thing.
He adores her even when she is not at her best shall I say :-) He knows it is only her emotions on a tangent.I think he enjoyed spoiling her with her indulgent temper tantrums and playfulness of getting what she wants.
But all the while she never conned him into getting things she wanted. He was always in control. Just the fact he recognizes the game He demonstrates his oversight and I think actually the game was turned on her cause he knew he was going to be in for a nice sweet time when the lights go out.
I think he thought the whole game was fun and cherished her all the more.
Nothing sinister here going on. This is a wonderful capture of the Love Waltz that if only we all could have.
Oh how I learned so well from this writing Just how my Soul Mate sees me when I get on my tantrums.. LoL I have already seen how strong he is when I thought I was the winner in our games. Turns out he knew my game and was one Chess play ahead of me.. LOL This is the real love the true kinda everlasting love shared between two Lovers. True Love is when you love each others faults and protect each other not just when the mood is set and all is fair weather .
A+ Doc ! :-)
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
Again, thank you for being here with me for this time, Kate. I appreciate you.
This is stunningly written! The inflections of mood are raw and potent here, a piece that shows the wisdom of such experiences and has taken note but has never quite given up on believing...beautiful! :)
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Ah, Poppy, thank you so much. You are most kind and I hope you visit again soon.
A captivating snapshot of an argument. It seems that although she may be the one who gets upset, she has the real power in this relationship. Your use of words and images is magic!
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Thanks, Claire, I sincerely appeciate your words and hope you visit again soon.
This literally brought tears to my eyes. I have not quite experienced this type of romance in my days, but my mother has a way of luring men in to use them. That is what this spoke of to me. Using her beauty and sexuality she feasted on men's wallets, but most of all she played with their hearts. Twisted, I know. I just wanted you to know that you have written this in a way that I couldn't help but be dragged in and forced to face the ugly reality that is what some will do to prosper. This piece is all together magnificently written. Thank you for sharing!
-Courtney
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Thank you, Cwort . . . . sometimes we need to learn from negative examples. I did.
I actually read this one first but then wanted to see what you had originally posted here. After reading your first post this one is far more introspective and explains a lot about you and your relationship....I enjoyed it immensely...Thank you
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
For some reason I don't like saying, Thank you, "Grey Witch." I'll simply say thank you and I deepl.. read moreFor some reason I don't like saying, Thank you, "Grey Witch." I'll simply say thank you and I deeply appreciate you taking the time to read these works
Having dyslexia and having given up on learning in school I can not speak to construct, but I can speak to honesty, truth, the emotion the piece brings to the fore for me. It is all there.
The layers of dysfunction in this are fascinating. In my mind I see a man older than his lover, somewhat chauvinistic, dealing with his lover in a somewhat condescending way. But before we get a chance to feel sorry for her we learn that she is manipulative and uses her charms to get what she needs from the relationship. The two dance their dysfunctional dance in perfect step, it is a dance they have created and they know the steps well. All the same the lingering doubt remains, the truth can not be avoided. They are pretending. He is hoping, we get a sense of longing for honesty and something more authentic. We are left to wonder, is she playing him or does she feel the same? And, would he change the steps to this dance if given the opportunity?
Wonderful. Just pulls you right in.
If this is who you are... then how painful it must have been for you to review my poem. Thank you for being so nice about it.
Posted 12 Years Ago
3 of 3 people found this review constructive.
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
12 Years Ago
Nicholas, I have become calloused to difficult things because yes, this is who I am. I am also very .. read moreNicholas, I have become calloused to difficult things because yes, this is who I am. I am also very grateful for your marvelous review and insights.
I'm just a guy living in Mexico. I am the author of SMITH COUNTY JUSTICE (horribly over priced) and some other books you can find in my photos. or at my website:
http://auth18.wix.com/david-e.. more..