Imperial

Drunk nonsnese....again.

I wear platform-flip-flops, and eat c**t-sauce boiled by the gallon. Once upon a time I had a girlfriend. I tried to go down on her but her clap vagina was bleeding like the elevators in Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. So I passed, and she was pissed off royally, it happens. I am the god of wet dreams. I look like map soil in the form of Egyptian kings and redwood sap. I work harder than refried beans fapped into the toilet. I’m sexier than teens. My bed blanket I bought in Mexico wrapped around me but I’m a white boy and also pueblo. Yolo. Dub-tee-eff at the golf course. Betting on ponies when I should have fucked a girl with legs like a horse. Tap tippy tap like morse code. Strutting like a bro in army pay dirt loads or pants. I don’t want to go to work today. I’m drunk again. So.