Beautiful Travis's Motive

Beautiful Travis entered the swamp with his barstool.

“I could get stuck here,” said the seat.

“I could too,” Travis concurred, envisioning a girl with more power than ancient gods. “I’ll find her like treasure. I want her a*s.”

“I know I’m just a barstool but I have a barstool’s intuition. Many asses have sat upon me and I have learned about those who sit on my face. I must say this: maybe she won’t want you. What will you do then?”

“Obviously she won’t want me.”

“Then what’s the point of this conquistador charade?”

“It’s just for fun. Life is meaningless, so therefore the pursuit of females is just a joke.”

“She’ll kill you for that. She won’t want you to waste her time.”

“I hope she kills me.”

“She’ll be scared of you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’ll pretend to like her.”

“I want to f**k.”

“She’ll want to keep you. She’ll be scared. She’ll f**k you back so that you like her, but she wants you to stay with her and protect her.”

“That’s silly.”

“Girls are silly. But I’m just a barstool. What do I know?”

“I just want to f**k some swampy girls.”