Step 3: Learning the Lessons of Being Published

I had the looks, the clothes, the hair, the cosmetics…what more did I need?

Oh yeah…more clothes.

Luckily Mom already paid me my allowance for the past two months (fifty dollars in all) so I go hone, drop off my stupid, out of style clothes and gaze longingly at the fashionable clothes I purchased during this past week.

I catch my reflection in the mirror and smile giddily.

My mom left a note saying she’s out grocery shopping. Fine by me. I left her a note saying that I was out at the mall shopping.

Downtown isn’t that far away from my neighborhood, so I just walk to the mall, though the heels are really starting to hurt my feet. I ignore the pain until I get inside the mall. I drop onto a wooden bench and wiggle my toes around a little to relax and relieve them of their pain.

I throw back my hair and spot the highlights in my hair. There are faint traces of some brown and a pinkish-red. That was in my hair? Cool! As I throw back my hair, some boys look over at me. I smile at them flirtatiously. One of them blushes hard while the others look gape at me like they’ve died and gone to heaven. Soon, they depart.

I get up and walk around, getting my feet used to the wooden heels I wore. I notice how they slim my legs and make me appear taller and more sophisticated, maturer, more like a real teenage girl should look. At least that’s how I think teen girls should look. It’s not really up to me, anyway.

Anyway, I stroll around the mall, checking out the different windows while, before I realize it, boys are checking out me. Me! Leana really had done a great job if boys were gazing at me lustfully. I wink at a few boys, some who are brave enough wink back and smile. I smile back, continuing my search. I finally come across a decent place to shop.

I enter the shop and look around. The place is big enough to hold clothes, but small enough to be considered comfy. I saunter over to a sales rack and choose some cute skirts, tops, and dresses. I try them on in a clothing booth and marvel at how good they look on me.

Having tried the last of the clothes on, I went over to the shoes section and pick out a few sized 8 shoes. I am in-between tall and short, which is a blessing because the shoes I try on fit my feet perfectly and look great at the same time. I take the things I chose to the cash register where I pay for them and head out into the mall once again.

I glance at the watch on my left wrist. 1:03 PM. I know that I should head out to the food court soon if I wanted to eat. I slip into places like Claire’s and Bath & Bodyworks for the past half-hour, buying cosmetics, cool jewelry, bath stuff, and perfume so I can smell enticing.

Carrying my purchases in both hands, I manage to catch a glimpse of the mall clock. 1:42 PM. My stomach growls, and I mean it growls. I hurry over to where the elevator is because I’m on the top floor and get into it with two other cute guys.

I drop my purchases on the ground and stretch out my arms. They were beginning to get sore. One of the guys, who has natural jet black hair, eyes me and my things.

“You got enough stuff there?” he asks. He smirks at my load.

I turn my head to him.

I smile and say, “Yeah. Enough to last all day. What do you think?”

His smirk grows wider at my pun.

“Enough to last a century, I’d think,” he quips. “Of course, you’d still be pretty by then, wouldn’t you?”

He was flirting with me! A cute guy was flirting with me!

I blush furiously and wink at him, smiling all the wider.

“Sure I’d be,” I flirt. “I think you’d be still gorgeous, too.”

He blushes slightly. I smile widely at this. Before I could talk to him more, his friend drags him away when the elevator stops. I feel a little disappointed. He waves to me and winks.

“Later,” he says.

Then, he and his friend disappear into the thick Saturday crowd. I shrug, grabbing my shopping bags and dragging them along with me to the food court, which is nearby (thankfully). I drop my load on the one half of a table and sink into a chair on the other side. I allow the sore muscles in my arms chill for a bit before I get anything to eat.

Now relaxed, I head over to the line for Burger King and order a simple cheeseburger and a diet caffeine free soda with a medium fries on the side. I nearly gobble up the whole tray of fast food when I sit at my table. A few guys attempt to catch my eye, but I’m so concentrated on eating that I barely notice them.

I throw away my trash and return the tray to Burger King. I grab my purchases and begin the journey home where I would chill until Monday came and the whole school would see the new me: Kitty.

 

~*~*~

 

Later that day…

 

“Kit…oh my God…what did you--?”

“I just decided to get a little makeover,” I say to my mom.

Her eyes are wide open at me. She blinks once.

“But…how did you--?”

“I had money. I had $300 bucks saved up.”

“Where did you--?”

“Vida Beauty. They’re very good, Mom,” I say, answering her interrupted question.

“’Vida Beauty’?” Mom asks hysterically. “You paid for that yourself?”

Uncertainty fills me.

“Uh…yeah. Is that a…uh…problem?”

To my surprise, Mom smiles at me a little.

“It shows maturity if you don’t have to come to me for money and that you saved it up yourself,” Mom says. “Kit…just…please…be careful, okay?”

I give her a weird look.

“What would I need to be careful for?”

“Never mind. I’m just being a worrisome mother,” she says, dismissing her previous thought. “Just go and do what teen girls do, okay?”

I shrug, giving her one last look, and go to my room.

“Okay…”

I go into my room and close the door. What the heck was that about? I shake it off. Whatever it was, I wasn’t going to worry myself by constantly stressing over it. It really wasn’t worth it.

So, I sit at my desk. I want to work on my story, bringing it up on Microsoft Word, but I get…nothing. Nothing at all. It’s like my inspiration fuel is somehow…empty. Before, I could write and write on and on. What happened to me? What happened to my buzz to write? Maybe I ran out, which sometimes happens to me.

Anyway, I exit out of my story and just listen to some music on my computer. I have all the latest hits. Somehow it’s been really hot this spring. Which is odd…the weather’s been wacky and way off, anyway.

I can’t help but to drag out my mirror and gaze at myself in it. Was this reality or just a dream?

I pinch myself. I wince. Nope, not a dream. Besides, who’d pinch themselves in a dream? Didn’t make sense at all.

Weirdly enough, I could’ve probably made myself beautiful on my own, but it takes a lot of work and time. Two things I don’t have, or want. I’ve never been all that keen on appearances, at least mine, up until now when everyone started, like, teasing me constantly everyday. And I know it’s shallow to care about my looks. Really shallow. But I had to. I couldn’t stand the teasing and the criticism any longer, so I gave up and gave in.

Then I start to think about Evan. He’d love me! So would everybody else. Oh…I couldn’t wait! Everybody would be so jealous. All the boys would want me, and all the girls would want to look like me. Could it get any better?

 

~*~*~

 

Monday: Judgement Day

 

Judgement Day, indeed. Oh God was I nervous! So nervous that I was actually shaking in my boots…or, ahem, cheap wooden high-heeled strap shoes. I wore a cute short dark blue jean skirt that came right above my knees (not too short) and a dark red sleeveless top that zipped in the back. My lips had dark red lip gloss perfectly smeared on them, my eyes outdone with black mascara and eyeliner, and my cheeks with a faint pink blush. In the crook of my arm I held a cheap, but cute, red fake leather purse that was a decent size. Over one shoulder was draped my backpack.

My hair wasn’t pinned back so that the whole world, or the whole school, could my beautiful perfect hair. It sill flowed in perfect ringlets over my shoulders and down my back. My nails were long, perfectly manicured, were done in Passion Pink (both toenails and fingernails). I was, overall, proud of myself.

My mom had already left for work by the time I had gotten up. I brush my teeth, brushed my hair only a little (considering it was already in perfect condition) and got dressed and did my makeup. I had gotten up early, so (for once) I wasn’t nearly late for school.

I walk up the short, easy hill that leads to school. It’s a pretty easy climb, so my heels aren’t hurting me by the time I get up to the school. Everybody’s filing in through the two entrances, so it’s not like I’m late or anything. In fact, I’m right on time. I stop and gulp, swallowing my fear.

It’s time. For my future. And my fate.

And I went in for it.

I focus my eyes straight ahead, but soon…my fear disappears until my pride swells and I smile. Everyone seems to hold their breath as I pass by. Everything doesn’t go immediately silent as it does in the movies, but some seem to stop and stare at me. The boys especially. The girls seem to be brimming with jealously.

I smile at everybody I pass. Everybody seems to hum with activity and surprise as I pass on the way to my locker. I wink at some boys staring at me. They blush, but stare after me.

“Who is she?”

“Who’s that?”

“I don’t know. Does she go here?”

“Wow…she gorgeous. Who is she?”

“She’s beautiful. She looks like a model!”

I smile, pleased by the whispered comments. Judgement Day has come, and it’s a good one at that.

I reach my locker. Some students are gathered around away from me, eyeing me curiously (mostly boys, in case you’re wondering). I open my locker and get out the books I need for my morning classes.

I hear hushed voices and the scuffling and shuffling of feet. I smile to myself. Absolute perfection.

“Move, move, move…”

I’d know those ultra-bitchy voices anywhere.

I shut my locker patiently, ignoring the ruckus I hear behind me. I place my backpack on the ground, placing my purse in my backpack.

I turn around. Approaching me are the Spoils (a.k.a., Alix, Nikita, and Faye). Oh joy! Not.

They stop in front of me and look me up and down. The ring leader of the group, Alix, speaks.

“So,” she says in that stupid sultry voice of hers, “who are you?”

She asks me like I’m invading her territory or something. Yeah, right, like I’d want your territory, you b*****s.

“The name’s Kitty. Who are you, if I may ask?”

“Nice name,” she says, smirking at me. “I’d expect nothing else. I am Alixandria, or Alix. This is Nikita and Faye. My friends.”

Like I’d steal your friends, too.

“Nice to meet you three,” I say pleasantly with a smile.

Nikita glances at my shoes and widens her eyes.

“Those are gorgeous shoes. Vhere did you get zem, Kitty?”

“Oh, these old things? I got them at them at that new store that just opened up at the mall. You know, the super cool, fashionable one.”

“Oh, I know that place!” exclaimed Faye. She smiles a really bright smile. “It’s the coolest!”

“Yes, it is. How much vere zey?” asks Nikita.

“Actually, they were on sale. Thankfully, I got them cheap. But they’re really cool,” I answer.

And the whole school seems to brighten up at that. Now that two Spoils were being nice to me and like me already, why shouldn’t the rest of them? It’s the way our popularity system worked. Nothing to it. You usually can catch on pretty quickly.

Faye, Nikita, and I chatted our mouths off about the latest clothing until Alix had to drag them away from me. Personally, I think she was getting jealous, but that’s just me.

I was just heading off to classes when I heard someone call out my name. I turn around and see Shane and Dante standing before me in front my locker, trying to avoid the bustle of the school hallways.

Shane approaches me, gaping in astonishment at me.

“Kit? Wha-What did you do to yourself?” she demands

I smile at her proudly.

“Like it? I got myself finally done over. I was much too bored of my old, ugly self,” I reply.

Dante gapes at me in awe, but his awe turns into a deep frown.

“We heard that there was a new girl they were calling ‘Kitty.’ I knew from there that had to be you,” exclaims Shane loudly. “Is this all because of Evan?”

“Would you calm down, Shane? Jeez, you’re loud,” I say. “No, it’s not because of Evan. It’s because of everything I used to be. The ugly life I used to have.”

“So that’s why you ditched us? Just so you could be one of those…those stupid w****s that cake their faces up with makeup?”

“Why do you suddenly care about what I do?” I snap.

Shane calms herself down, staring at me hard with malice in her eyes.

“Because I’m your friend,” she replies. “And that’s what friends do, Kit. They care. But you’re obviously not our friend anymore. So…I get it. Bye.”

Shane sweeps past me. Dante steps up to me. His frown is as deep as I’ve ever seen it.

“What happened to you?” he asks.

Then, like Shane, he sweeps away.

Rage fires up in me.

“Well I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you two now!” I shout after them. Truthfully, I’m not even sure they hear me. But I wave the whole ordeal away like an annoying fly buzzing around in my ear.

They won’t get the best of me, shaming me and filling me with guilt. I’ll show them. I’ll make new friends and show them how much fun I’m having without them. Then, they’ll be begging to be my friends again. Just you wait and see.

 

My morning classes pass quickly. Something great happened, though. In Algebra, my first period class, when I glanced over at Evan, he caught my eye and winked at me flirtatiously. He smiled when I blushed. I smiled and winked playfully back, blowing him a light kiss.

And, after class was over, in the hall, he came up to me.

“So, what’s your name?” he asked.

“Kitty.”

He held out his hand.

“Evan.”

“I already know that,” I said.

Evan appears interested on how I now this.

“Oh? Is that so? How?”

“I’ve seen you around,” I answered mysteriously.

“I would’ve noticed someone as beautiful as you. I’m sure of it,” he said teasingly (in a nice way).

And that was when I noticed that Evan was flirting with me. Me! God, thank you! You’re too kind to me nowadays!

I flushed slightly.

I smiled and said, “Why thank you! You’re too kind.”

Evan laughs with me at my joke.

“So…at lunch…wanna sit with me?”

“Sure,” I answered.

And that’s why I breeze through most of the day. I completely forget the fight Shane and I had and feel like I’m walking on air. I’m so happy! Ha! This so proves I can do anything if I set my mind to it.

As I walk to my locker after my last period before lunch, I hear the whispering again. But this time I can actually hear people’s conversations.

“Is that her?”

“Yeah. Ain’t she pretty?”

“I’ll say. Man would I love to date her.”

“Wow…she’s beautiful.”

“I wonder where she gets her clothes? I’d sure love to have a wardrobe like hers!”

I grin happily to myself. I pack my backpack for the last two periods and head off to lunch. I bring my own lunch (you never know what they put in cafeteria food!) and saunter into the cafeteria. Some stop to stare at me. I wink at some cute guys. They smile dazedly and wink back. I stroll along the floor like a supermodel (and I don’t look ridiculous doing it, though).

My friends glare at me. Toni gives me a sorrowful look, but I pretend not to notice them at all. I glance quickly back at Dante, though. He’s there but his head is turned away because in conversation with Pepsi.

Evan sees me over his gaggle of giggling girls and waves me over, smiling. He’s real happy to see me, and I’m glad to see him.

“Make way, girls. We got a new person joining us today,” he announces.

Now I wish he hadn’t. All of the girls glare at me, but warm up once they see my fashionable garb. They drown themselves in conversation with me for half of lunch.

“So…you’re not new, Kitty?” Evan asks, drawing my attention away from the girls.

“Nope,” I say, sipping from the warm coke I brought from home. “I go to school here.”

“How come I’ve never seen you?”

I wink at him.

“I just got a…do-over. A major do-over.”

“I love it,” Evan murmurs, placing a hand on my shoulder and gazing into my eyes with his own gorgeous ones. I get lost in them. He strokes my cheek and, before I know it, he kisses me there. Right on the cheek.

I feel my heart pounding as loud as a drum.

He grins at me like he’s drunk. Drunk from me.

“Wanna go out tomorrow night?” he asks out of nowhere.

“Sure,” I purr softly.

I am in a total daze here. Sue me! The guy is gorgeous! And I think he somehow knows it.

I finish the remnants of my lunch in a complete daze. Evan strokes my back softly. It sends shivers running down my spine. The good kind of shivers. I have a date with the hottest guy in school! That’s what my brain is roaring at me. My heart is completely jumping all over the place.

I think I’m in love.

 

~*~*~

 

Tuesday

 

Wearing a frilly, airy top with a nice neckline, an equally breezy skirt, and a pair of low-heeled pumps, I walk to school the next day. I want to so look nice for Evan. He is into me, after all. Could it get any better than that?

I strolled over to my locker, my loose, light curls drifting along behind me. A boy whistles at me. I smile proudly and take to unlocking my locker. Just as I finish winding in the combination for the lock, I feel a warm arm around my waist and someone’s head in the crook of my neck.

“You smell divine,” Evan says in a husky voice.

He breathes in my skin.

“Probably the new perfume I bought,” I say. I hide the surprise and enjoyment from my face. But it’s hard not to ignore the tingles running down my spine.

“No…it’s something else…something more…” He breathes me in again. “Oh…you smell so good…”

Evan brushes his lips against the side of my neck. My breath is immediately cut short. My heart flutters furiously. He kisses my cheek, turning me around towards him and stroking my cheek. His looks into my eyes with those breathtakingly handsome ones of his. I can’t help but fall under his spell.

“Thank you,” I whisper almost breathlessly. “Um…I…uh…have to pack up…”

“Can I walk you to first period class?” Evan offers, gazing at me with lust. I feel my cheeks and down turn red.

“Sure,” I croak nervously. I smile crookedly. Evan smiles at me, seemingly pleased by my reaction. I barely notice.

I pack up my books for the day and swing my backpack over one shoulder.

“I can take that for you,” he says.

“I got it. No worries,” I say.

I pull my arm through the other strap and then we’re off. I feel Evan’s eyes on me. My face grows hot again. He suddenly wraps an arm around my waist. He pulls me to him, close to his chest. I’m pretty sure my face looks like a tomato right about now. I gulp. As we walk, he strokes my hair gently, kissing it tenderly every now and then.

It seems like a thousand years before we reach the classroom. He releases me grudgingly. I wander over to an empty seat. He plops down in the one next to me. While I’m getting out my Algebra book, he strokes the skin of my lower arm. And there goes that tingly feeling again. My breath is again cut short.

I try to inhale and exhale deeply, but the breaths are trembling. Is this the cost of loving a guy? You feel like you’re…I don’t know…sick? ‘Cause in-between the blushing and the tingles, I was feeling hot and cold all at the same time. It was…well…how should I say this? Interesting. Very interesting. I’ve really honestly never felt anything this weird, but at the same time satisfying, in my entire life. It was nice.

All through Algebra I don’t pay attention because Evan is so busy flirting and joking with me quietly. Luckily Mr. Vanderbilt doesn’t catch us. He’s too busy criticizing someone else on their work.

In between classes, he meets me at the door and kisses me gently. At lunch, I sit with him. Shane gives me a bitter look as I carry my lunch tray to Evan’s table. Evan flirts with me some more. I am so happy. It’s so nice to be accepted and actually wanted. Could things get any better?

 

“Oh…God…what the heck should I wear?!” I exclaim frantically as I sift through my new wardrobe that replaced my ugly old clothes. I find a decent skirt and a frilly light pink non-show-through blouse. The pink and red of my hair greatly compliments the soft pink of the blouse. It’s soft as a rose petal to the touch.

Quickly, I apply some mascara to my eyes and nude lip gloss to my lips. I put on some nude blush on my cheeks and then I’m ready to head out on our date. I glance quickly in the mirror on my way to the door. My hair is elegantly pinned back and I’m wearing half-hoop earrings with some Austrian crystals lining it that I bought from Claire’s. I smile to myself.

Evan’s car pulls up and my eyes shine brightly.

“Mom! I’m going out on a date! I’ll be back around ten or so,” I shout down the hall.

“Have fun, honey. Be careful!” she shouts back.

Mom’s probably too preoccupied with reading one of her stupid sappy romance novels. I shake my head and chuckle silently at the thought. I head out the door, rushing out in my wooden sandal pumps. Evan’s standing by the car door, waiting for me like a real gentleman. He smiles lustfully at the sight of me. I blush.

“You look lovely this evening,” he says, raising my hand to his lips. He brushes his lips softly against the soft skin of my hand. I blush deeply.

“Thank you,” I answer (and I’m probably smiling like a complete idiot, too).

And it’s then I get a real look at what Evan’s wearing. He’s wearing a black leather coat over a red T-shirt and black jeans. It compliments him excellently.

“You look great,” I say to him.

He smiles at me, opening the door for me.

“Thank you,” he answers.

“No, thank you,” I say back, getting into his car. The seats are ultra-comfy. They must be leather or something. At this thought, I wince horribly. Leather? Oh God…

I am a serious animal lover. And having real leather in his seats? Yeah…big turn-off.

Evan sees my disgusted expression and leans over the brake.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Um…your seats are made of leather,” I say, my brow furrowing deeply.

He shrugs at me.

“So?”

I look at him.

“It’s just that I’m an animal lover. A big animal lover.”

“Yeah? So? What’s that got to do with it?”

I scan his eyes. I see that he doesn’t care, nor does he want to hear, about how I love animals.

“Never mind. Let’s just go,” I say stiffly.

“’Kay.”

He starts the car and sets off into the downtown area. He asks me where I’d like to go, but I say anywhere is fine with me. He shrugs again and stops at TGI Friday’s. Evan kindly opens the car door for me once again. I hug my arms. He wraps an arm around my shoulder and leads me into the restaurant.

And you want to know what’s going through my head? That he didn’t care one ounce about how I love animals and hate for others to kill them for clothing and their own leisure. I’m fine with eating them, but wearing them? That’s a different story. And Evan didn’t even give a crap about what I thought!

Maybe he’s just…I don’t know. Nervous, maybe? It wasn’t his fault, I convince myself. It wasn’t his fault.

Give it up and go home, Kit. He’s not the guy for you.

No! I worked this hard and I am not going back!

Suit yourself.

The chiding voice disappears into nothingness from my head and I’m left in the cold. I shook my head and gathered myself together, pushing aside any possible negative thoughts about Evan. It wasn’t his fault; I just knew it. Or did I?

 

After we have dinner, it’s ten o’clock. Evan drops me off at home. When he pulls into the driveway and parks his car, he leans into me. He kisses me deeply and passionately. It’s the best kiss I’ve ever had. I kiss back just as deeply.

Evan breaks the kiss and strokes my cheek. Then he pecks me once more on the lips. He looks at me like no one else has ever looked at me before. I smile at him; he smiles back. He strokes my cheek.

“I love you,” he whispers into my ear.

I smile dazedly.

“I love you, too, Evan,” I whisper back.

I then exit the car. He waves to me and pulls out of the driveway. I wave back eagerly. Then, he’s gone. I run into my room. I peek in on my mom quickly. She’s asleep. I smile happily at her sleeping form in the darkness. I close her door and tiptoe into my room.

I jump onto my bed and scream enthusiastically into my pillow. Happiness is flowing through me, pumping in my blood. It’s beating strongly within my heart and soul.

On impulse, I grab the phone to call Shane and tell her about it. But I put down the phone back into its cradle, suddenly remembering that we are no longer friends. She hates me, and so does everyone else. Especially joking Dante is bitter towards me.

I sink into my bed and flip off the light. I lay in darkness, thinking and a little confused. Did I do the right thing after all? Yes, I was sure that I did. I didn’t need my old friends anymore. They never really cared about me. No…they were…I don’t know.

It was then that I fell asleep.

 

~*~*~

 

Two Days Later: Thursday

 

Two days pass and Evan and I are officially a couple. It was quick, I know, but I’m in love with him. And he’s in love with me.

All the girls have gotten so jealous of me. Secretly, I’m proud that I have such a gorgeous guy, the hottest in the whole school, as my boyfriend. And it makes me even happier that every single girl in the school who likes Evan is jealous of me. He’s mine!

At the end of school, Evan departs, waving me good-bye. I gather the books I need to take home when I feel a presence behind me. I finish packing my books and turn around.

There’s Dante. His arms are crossed and his face is unnaturally serious. It kind of creeps me out.

“What do you want, Dante?” I snap.

“What happened to you, Dakota? Why are you dressing like…like this?” He motioned towards my short miniskirt, my top, and pumps.

I frown at him.

“Why do you suddenly care what I wanna wear or not? That’s not your business!” I yell.

“You looked better before.”

“What are you saying? Before I was ugly! Before I was a monster! A hideous monster!”

“I don’t think you did,” Dante said softly. “I thought you…were…”

“What? Thought I was what?!”

“Why did you have to change? Everybody liked you the way you used to be, Kit! Why?”

This struck me hard. I held back my enraged tears.

“Why do you care?” I growl.

Dante’s face softened, but his frown deepened.

“Because…because we were friends. Doesn’t that…doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

Without thinking, I hiss, “No.”

Dante seems taken aback by my answer. His shoulders sag and his frown turns sad.

“Fine,” is all he says.

Then, he leaves me alone within the empty school, his footsteps fading away and finally disappearing. Tears are coming down my face. My mascara and liquid eyeliner are probably smudged right now, but I didn’t care. I snatch my backpack from the ground and storm out of the school.

That night, I lay on my bed, weeping my heart out. And the reason…I have no idea. His reaction…it hurt me.

This time I follow up on the impulse to call Shane.

“What do you want?” she snaps at me.

“Shane…p-please…listen to me.”

“What is it? What do you want from me?”

“Dante came to me after school. He asked me why I had t-to…change,” I weep into the phone.

Shane’s tone softens in sympathy.

“Did…did he tell you?” Shane asks.

“T-tell me…what?”

Shane sighs, her breath causing some static.

“Kit…couldn’t you see?”

I shake my head, whispering no.

“See what?” I ask.

“How he looked at you. How he tried to get your attention,” Shane says quietly. “How stricken he was…when you said you liked Evan.”

“What? He…he looked at me?”

Shane laughs bitterly. The sound cuts my heart deeply.

“Kit…God, you always were naïve. I never thought this naïve, though.”

“Shane…God…would you just tell me?!” I exclaim hysterically. The suspense was killing me.

“Dante’s in love with you.”

I stop breathing. My tears choke me. I feel even more well up.

“Dante’s…wha--?”

“Dante’s in love with you, Kit,” Shane says. “He always has been. Ever since he met you.”

“How do you know this?” I whisper.

“Dante told me. And you know that time you told me about overhearing the conversation we had? Well, Dante was--”

“Debating whether or not to tell me,” I finish for her. “I’ve made…a big mistake, Shane. I-I…I didn’t know.”

“Kit,” Shane whispers, “you should tell Dante that. Not me.”

“I want to. I really, really want to.”

“Then do that.”

With that, Shane hangs up on me. And I’m left in the dark. Dante loves me. How could I miss something that…that big? I really was naïve and stupid. I didn’t know the first thing about having a boyfriend or being in love. That voice was right about keeping my friends. It was right about everything.

How could I miss it?

 

Friday

 

As I enter school, I hear Evan talking aloud. I catch the middle of his words.

“…and that Kitty. Oh God, you should get some of her for yourself. Man…she is sweet! I love her bod!” says Evan.

Rage boils up in me. I was right. My friends were right.

“YOU…YOU JERK!” I shriek.

Evan turns at the sound of my voice. I slap him clear across the face and head to my locker, angrily packing my books up. I storm off to class. For the first time this week, Evan isn’t escorting me.

My friends were right. Evan is a jerk. I was just too blinded for my desire to have him for myself to notice those big flaws of his. I sit through my classes until lunch. I sit alone at lunch, sitting at the Table of Doom. I’m too filled with rage to even care what anybody thinks.

Then, I see shadows on the Table and look up. There stand Faye, Nikita, and Alix. They’re frowning at me, their arms crossed across their chests. Alix slaps me across the face and pins me to the ground. Her blond hair swings in front of her face, brushing my own as her sweet breath taints my own.

“Nobody but nobody dumps Evan Waters,” Alix hisses. She narrows her eyes. “Nobody.”

Then, she punches and kicks me. Nikita and Faye dump the remnants of my lunch on me. My clothes are ruined and soaked with milk and food. The three chuckle evilly at my appearance.

“I deserved it,” I say to them. “Thank you.”

Then they appear surprised as I gently walk away from them. Tears rush down my face. I walk slowly through the school hallways.

Let them see me. See my anger, my sadness, and my humiliation. It doesn’t matter to me anymore.

I allow them to see my ugliness now. My greed is revealed to the world, the real monster. My vanity and selfishness has consumed me so much that I’ve been blind to my friendship and blind to Dante’s love for me.

I drag myself like a zombie to the Lawrence River, a small river that runs through town, and sit myself in my secret spot. I lay down in the emerald green grasses, hidden by their tallness, and cry until I can cry no more and my heart aches and pounds.

“I-I’m sorry…I’m so, so sorry, Dante…I’m sorry t-that I couldn’t see. My own greed and selfishness blinded me. Forgive me.”

I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up at the person above me with watery eyes. Dante stands there, a grim countenance clouding his face. I try to shrug away from his grip, but he keeps me firmly locked in place. I have no choice but to stay here.

Dante sits down next to me, gazing at me straight in the eyes. Then he spoke.

“Kit…I don’t know what to say to you. After what happened--”

“Shane told me that you…well…love me. I’m sorry that I--”

He silenced me with a single look of his almond eyes. Their warmth comforted me.

“You changed yourself to gain the love of somebody who only wanted you for your beauty. It was wrong. And I know you’re sorry.”

“And…you? What did you think of how I had changed myself?”

Dante shook his head at me.

“You were pretty before, but you overdid it and blocked your true self out.” Dante touches my cheek with the back of his hand. “I loved the way you were before.”

I smile at him sadly.

“Do you think she’ll come back?” I crack.

Dante smiles at me.

“That’s the you I love. I think she’ll come back if you let her.”

I nod and bow my head, but Dante lifts my chin with his hand and stares at me straight in the eyes.

“And she’s already here,” he says to me.

I smile. More tears run down my face. Dante takes his hand and gently brushes them away. Then he strokes my cheek. He holds my face with his face and kisses me sweetly. More sweetly than Evan ever could. Tingles run down my spine, but they are more. They’re true tingles that I feel from my scalp down to my feet.

I melt into the kiss. I kiss back. I can tell that I’ve always loved Dante. Always, even before I ever knew it.

And when we draw away, Dante whispers, “I love you, Kit.”

I smile.

“I love you, Dante,” I say back.

And I know that the words we say then are truer than the world itself. Then, Dante kisses me tenderly again.

Everything is then forgiven and forgotten, healed with the light of love.

Author's Note

Liked the story? It was not only written for the purpose of entertainment, but it also has a strong moral.
Never change yourself. Not for anybody you want to be with just so they’ll love you for your beauty or to be popular. It’s never worth it in the end. You’ll just end up getting hurt. Whoever reads this, you may wish you could change, but never wish that. Keep yourself the way you are because you’re perfect the way you are.
Be yourself, and be strong about it. You might never know when you might need that strength.