Inside Myself

He was her deepest desire, but the voices inside wouldn't let her touch him.

Inside myself.

There is nothing that

I can do to keep my

from myself.

 

I fill with anguish,

my spirit tarnished

by the decrepit thoughts

haunting my mind.

He is there,

reaching out to me

and tantalizing me.

My breast fills with

the deepest desire.

But those voices

hold me inside myself.

 

Inside myself

I can feel the pressure

building to boiling.

Can’t I touch him?

Can’t I desire him?

It hurts.

 

Loneliness pumps through my heart,

oozing from every pore

in my body.

Regardless, the feeling

fails to dissipate.

Brimming tears bubble over,

their saltiness burning

the soft skin of my cheeks.

Everything hurts inside.

 

Inside myself

I feel as if I’m dying.

This is enough!

Those voices are distant,

warning me not to defy them.

Sweetly, I smile and defy.

 

I touched him for the first time,

and he touched me.

His hand caressing my cheek

was elysian bliss.

Just the smallest touch

and I felt happy inside.

 

Inside myself

I come to life.

Author's Note

The struggle of a character of mine, who has avoidant personality disorder, to get close to someone she is in love with.