Imperfect

Edited version of the last one with Xtian at the lighthouse. It includes Hallie's magazine photoshoot and stupid LA photographers. I'm trying out for playboy in a week so i think I'm like writing on my fears of what will happen LOL.

Imperfect

        "First we are going to be doing some test shots, the interview and all that will come afterwards," the short hairy photographer, Raphael Gold, whose real name was Rob Grimes told her through loud smacks on his gum. What was with photographers doing that anyway?

"Oh, I thought it was questions first and then photos," Hallie replied disappointed that she wouldn't have more time to work out.

"That's not how it works in Hollywood babe," Rob replied setting up his camera equipment. "I have to say you are a lot shorter than your co-stars."

"Thanks," Halllie muttered wanting to kick him in the nuts.

        As if it wasn't bad enough having to get up at six in the morning and get piles of make up put on when you couldn't even keep your eyes open. The setting for the photo shoot didn't help much either. The top of the high rise building looked amazing, but with the morning chill blowing up all the wrong places it sure didn't feel amazing. Hallie was in a little silk robe covering an iridescent gold bikini that looked like she just came straight to the photo shoot from work at the strip club. She would be posing with the view of L.A. high rise buildings in the background holding some fake silver platter in a manner that had to seem like holding silver platters was the biggest turn on of her life. Whatever, she just wanted to get this crap over with and talk about the show and how she got into cooking in the first place.

"Are you ready Hailey?" The photographer annoyingly beckoned. Not caring enough to correct him she nodded and made her way over.

"Take of the robe for her guys," he hissed at the multitude of hair and make up slaves that seemed to follow her everywhere she went.

"I can take off my own robe," Hallie argued untying the cord.

"Nonsense. Now just stand there and don't try to be sexy. Just do it."

Hallie felt goose bumps immediately rise on her bare stomach, but tried not to shiver as she tried not to be sexy. She turned around showing off her shiny gold behind and blew a kiss to the camera while holding the prop.

"Good good, very good!" Rob licked his lips and ferociously snapped away. "Oh yes," he moaned. Wow someone needed to get laid didn't they?

Hallie turned to face forward and felt her stomach rumbling from hunger. She hadn't eaten anything for breakfast because of course she had to look perfect for today's shoot, and even still she didn't feel perfect. Her insecurities were soon confirmed.

Rob made a disgusted face after she had turned back around, obviously a look of disapproval. "Oh wow," he shook his head. "You need to turn back around, your a*s looks a lot better than the front does."

"What do you mean?" Hallie asked knowing damn well what he meant.

"What size are you anyway?" he choked out looking appalled if a bug had just flown into his mouth.

"I'm a size four," Hallie replied confused. God was she really that bad?

"Could have fooled me," he mumbled, spinning his finger in the air ordering her to turn back around.

She did and glared down at the city below her. Ok she didn't have a god damn six pack like Bianca did, but it wasn't like she was enormous either.

"Thankfully we can airbrush you but man we'll have to do it a lot," the photographer complained. "I'd definitely get some breast implants or something, it will really hide that."

"Good why don't you get them," Hallie muttered. She suffered through the rest of the photo shoot with the jerk criticizing every other part of her body, then finally finished and put the robe back on, afraid to be bare any longer. She held back angry tears as the photos were being loaded onto a screen.

"Come look at these. You'll see what I'm talking about," the photographer called. "Is your agent here?"

"Downstairs," Hallie replied fearful. A crew member went to fetch Roxie McClure who was snacking away on a bagel as she came upstairs. They both made their way to the viewing screen to see the results.

"See how wide she is right here?" Mike poked at Hallie's hips with Hallie about to snap his finger off. "It shows up too much on film," he shook his head pointing back at the screen. "I can't really airbrush it out with out looking fake."

Hallie looked down at the test shots confused. She didn't look that bad at all. Actually she looked great and just how she wanted to for the photo shoot. A perfectly flat stomach and newly muscular thighs from working out daily for weeks. What the hell was this guys problem? Hallie knew Roxie would stand up for her. This guy was obviously stupid or blind or something.

"I see exactly what you mean Raphael," Roxie nodded.
"What?," Hallie exclaimed. "I know they aren't perfect, really are they that bad?"

"They have to be perfect sweety," Roxie answered in fake sympathy. "They just aren't yet, a little toning up and maybe they will be. Maybe go on a little diet or something," she said gnawing into her carbohydrate-filled bagel.

"I am on a diet. I didn't even eat this morning!"

"Good just try eating less or something," Roxie smiled casually.

"You see why we can't use these right?" Raphael or Rob or whatever his name was began taking down his camera.

"Oh of course, we'll work on this. I'm so sorry about this Raphael, we just need to shape her up a bit," Roxie giggled pinching Hallie's side. Grumpily Hallie smacked her hand off.

"You aren't using them? So I came here for nothing, I did pretty much nothing else but work out for nothing. Are we at least doing the interview?"

"Well there is no need for that really. We are just going to picture Bianca this time, maybe we can find another girl. What about that gorgeous Japanese girl Yuki? She would be great," the photographer babbled on.

Hallie couldn't believe they weren't even doing the interview. So what was she supposed to do now? Without asking Hallie gathered her clothes she came in, went downstairs into the bathroom and changed leaving the tacky bikini on the tiled floor. Nobody bothered to call after her so she figured she was done, went down to the parking garage and sped on home.

She stopped at a red light and slammed the steering wheel and screamed out loud. Why on Earth didn't they use at least one of her photos. Were they seeing something that she didn't see about her body? Was there some giant bulge she was missing? There had to be, these people were professionals, they knew what they were talking about, right? Maybe she could shape up some more, maybe she should do what Roxie said and skip a few meals. It wouldn't hurt right.

Realizing that she was pretty much dressed for the gym in her Bebe Sports sweater and matching shorts and tennis shoes, Hallie decided not to go home, that obviously she needed to go work out. Instead of going to the exclusive Hollywood gym, she took a different exit and decided to drive to her lighthouse. Hopefully with the gorgeous view of the water and the haunting yet warm feeling of the lighthouse her cares would melt away. Fat chance, no pun intended.

It was still only eight o clock in the morning but it had gotten progressively warmer as California weather always did. Hallie removed her sweater just wearing her sports bra and shorts, hoping that no one was around since she was obviously a lard a*s that couldn't even look good airbrushed. She tightened the laces on her tennis shoes and began briskly walking, which turned into a slow jog, then turned into a blazing spring. She sprinted like she never had before, making her way up the steep hill so effortlessly. Before it had been pretty difficult, she had to taking several walking breaks in between, but since she'd been working out so much the challenging hill was now a piece of cake.

In her mind that proved that she'd been working hard to look good, and deep down she knew she looked great, but also knew that it didn't matter what she thought about herself anymore. It mattered what others thought, was the public thought, and if they thought she was too fat she would have to change it. She was on the show "Hot Girls That Can Cook" after all, but maybe she was just a girl that could cook, and not a hot girl in the very least. She looked out at the fully risen sun on the water forcing herself not to think about it any longer.

Almost to the top of the hill she looked up to see her familiar lighthouse, and was surprised to see someone leaning against it. What were they doing at her lighthouse? Ok so it wasn't hers, but she had rarely seen anyone else here before. How dare they steal her spot. Whoever it was stood tall, and gazed down the hill as if it was theirs. Angry that she had to share her spot with someone, Hallie slowed her run into a walk and made her way up the last of the trail. As she traveled further up she could see a man with dirty blonde hair rustling in unison with the gold fields. It was too far to tell the color of his eyes, but once the clouds moved away allowing the sun to shine in his direction she could see a familiar turquoise standing out against the white lighthouse. Hallie immediately came to a halt upon seeing and knowing who it was, but it couldn't be? All the way from New York? Why would he-

He turned his head calmly and called her name over the trail as if he was expecting her to come.

"Is that really you?" Hallie yelled back as she tried to start her run back up, not moving nearly fast enough. Once he came into full view she blinked in disbelief. Was she freaking hallucinating?

He flashed his rare smile in return and began opening his arms anticipating her arrival. How did he know that she would just forget everything and run to embrace him. Hallie shook her head. She really hated him for it, but thank God. Thank God he was here, and wouldn't allow her to feel empty anymore. Hopefully.

Before she knew it she reached the top, and claimed her prize. Not the view of the ocean, which just seemed to be in the background compared to him, but the touch of his hand curling around the shape of her shoulders. She closed her eyes at the sensation, then opened them as if she just woke up from a restful sleep.

"I'm sorry I left Hallie, I was afraid," he responded to her questioning blue eyes.

She placed her hand in his, and automatically everything was forgiven. She didn't care if he'd been afraid, why he'd left. She probably should have cared, but he came all the way to California didn't he? It was enough for her.

To express this she removed her grasp from his hand and placed it on his face, taking it into hers and kissing his lips as lightly as the breeze was rustling through the air. He removed the rubber band from her hair allowing it to fan down her back, and interrupted their kiss by pressing her little body to his.

"Leaving you had to be the dumbest thing I ever did," he whispered.

"I know," she agreed, both began laughing.

She pulled away from his grasp to look at his face again, just to make sure he was really there. He looked better than ever, his pale face glimmered in the late afternoon, and his eyes looked like a lighter turquoise than they normally did. He looked happier, or refreshed, or something. Maybe because like her he felt whole again after so long.

In the back of her mind David lingered, she was only with him last night, but that seemed so long ago. The guilt drifted from her mind with the morning breeze.

"How did you know I'd be here?" she shook her head in disbelief.

"I'll tell you everything. First can we just lay here?" he removed his black t-shirt and lay back in the tall grass closing his eyes, and extending an arm up for her to join him.

Without any further questions she took his hand and allowed him to pull her down to the earth with him. She lay her head atop his bare chest feeling more at ease than she had felt in a long time. Even a professional massage didn't feel this relaxing, this relieving. His muscular body felt so rough underneath her head, then the softness reclaimed its place again when his body began rising up and down with his breathing. His heartbeat steadily thumped in her ear. Like a beat to keep the rhythm in music alive, it fueled her. She lovingly kissed the sound, so thankful for this moment and closed her eyes trying not close her eyes in relaxation, and miss one moment of seeing him again

As wonderful as it was right now, she had to know. What reason could there possibly be for him just leaving her like that in New York? Sleeping with her, and leaving? A guy she didn't know would do that, not Christian West, she knew him better than that.

"What could have possibly made you go? Do you not feel as amazing, as light as I do when I'm with you? I've had the worst day, and all of that is gone now that I am with you. Why did you go that morning in New York? Christian please, just be honest," she requested without anger.

His chest, even his neck rose as he breathed in heavily to prepare an answer. He then carefully turned to her, his eyes filled with anguish. "I don't know, after Derek it was hard feeling that good again. It was hard feeling anything again. I couldn't handle it I guess."

Hallie sat up from her comfort of his bare skin and walked a few feet to the lighthouse, leaning against it as he had been a minute ago.

He couldn't handle it? What couldn't he handle? She stared thoughtfully at the sea to trying to figure out the puzzle of his words not wanting to actually ask him.

Arms wrapped around her, and she was immediately reminded of her dream she had by the lighthouse, of William and Natalie Fenris. William assuring Natalie that he'd return, but he never would. Is that what Christian was about to do now?

"I'm so sorry," he whispered into her ear, the soft sound giving her the chills.

"Why did you wait so long to come back?"

"I wanted to be ready. It's going to be okay now Hallie, I'm here, I'll stay alright? I promise this time."

"Why does it feel like you are so far away?"

"I'm right here," he looked straight into her eyes to assure her. And as if that weren't enough he brought her into a kiss again, except not so soft this time. It felt just like the passionate times during Christmas in front of his fireplace, the forbidden excitement of it, and him, in all of his real, unspoiled by rich parents, unpredictable, flawed perfection. Instead of a soft breeze of a kiss it all turned into a thunder storm, passion rumbling within her and lightening striking onto all the places on his body she found irresistible . She shoved him against the lighthouse and made him hers again. He could have slept with other girls in New York, knowing him he probably did, but she knew none of that mattered, she knew he was hers.

"I love you," she barely managed to say through her trembling lips.

"Don't cry Hallie," he soothed, "I'm here now," he repeated.

"I can't do this yet Christian. You left last time," she pulled back in disgust.

Christian swallowed guiltily, unable to argue with her.

"I can't let myself- get into this," Hallie told herself out loud.

"I came all the way here to tell you I'm sorry," he protested, his deep voice beginning to rise in anger. That was the true voice she knew, not this soft whispering of bullshit promises. She knew the a*****e whom she put everything on the line for and left her in a hotel room by herself.

"I'm leaving, I'm going home. Come by later, in a few days. I need time to- adjust to this," Hallie attempted to explain.

"You seemed to be adjusting just fine," he chuckled cockily.

"Christian, whenever I'm around you all my stupid emotions get the better of me. I can't let them, I have to go. I'm so happy that you came, I'll see you in a couple of days, okay?"

"You look great by the way. You are perfect the way you are, don't let anyone dissuade you of that!"

How did he god damn know about the weight issues she was having. Better yet how did he know about the lighthouse? It wasn't a place she told anyone about, not even him. Had he followed her or something?

It was likely that he had seen her on TV. She would ask him about it later, right now she needed to get out. Without questioning him about his oddly accurate remarks Hallie straightened out the rumples in her clothes and quickly sprinted down the hill to her car. She could feel him watching her all the way down, but funny enough when she got in her car and looked up at the lighthouse he was gone. It figured.

Author's Note

Thank u guys who have been reading! I appreciate it more than you could know :)

Reviews

[NightDream]

Another twist and turn for Hallie and Christian. As always this was a imaginative and entertaining piece. I enjoyed the dialog between the characters as well as thier Interaction. Good job.

[ShadowWolf]

I like this one! Interesting how Christian keeps showing up.