Our Place

Kind of experimental, I kind of want something like this to be the first chapter because I feel i need a stronger foundation for why Christian and Hallie are meant to be together.

Our Place

Hallie pranced through the tall grass the way kids do when it is summertime and there is no school to worry about. From a distance she could hear the other children�s laughter as they slid down slides, played on monkey bars, and did a lot of other things that she thought were trivial since she was about to enter the fourth grade. Then again the place she was going made everything seem trivial.

�The park is that way little girl,� a man walking with his giant German Shepherd off the leash said.

�I�m not going to the park,� Hallie replied in her bratty I�m eight years old I know everything voice.
�Well the sun is going down soon, you better not get out there all by yourself,� he warned.
�I won�t be by myself,� she smiled quickening her pace so she could get to her destination faster. Even with the numerous oak trees that shielded her from the heat, it was still sweltering outside, after all it was the beginning of August in Los Angeles. As she crunched through the dried out leafs blanketing the forest floor, she could finally hear the brook gurgling in the distance. Her heart leaped in excitement that she was almost there and she felt around in her pocket to make sure she still had the gift she�d been waiting to give for months now.
��������Approaching she could already see her immaculate secret castle surrounded by a moat filled with crocodiles and poisonous frogs. Alright so there were no crocodiles in Los Angeles and the moat was simply a little pond filled with water bugs, but the castle was truly a sight to see. It wasn�t the Sleeping Beauty Castle at Disneyland but someone, sometime or another, had designed a little stone structure filled with bridges, stairs, and even a little archway elevated above the water. To get to it Hallie had to hop across several stepping stones and try not to fall in the water. It was pretty easy and once she did it she stood at the top overlooking her forest kingdom, but her prince was nowhere to be found. She looked at her pink ballerina watch her parents had brought for her from Paris and realized he was already twenty minutes late.
�Christian!� she hollered hoping her voice would carry through the woods. Christian West had been her friend since pre-school, and even though Hallie went off to a prestigious private elementary school and Christian to a local public school the two had been inseparable over the years. Hallie�s wealthy parents always tried to veer her away and convince her to make different friends, richer, better off friends, but she didn�t want that, they just weren�t fun like Christian was. They�re friendship however was more than just fun, recent tragedy had befallen Christian. His parents were brutally murdered in their own house only eight months ago, supposedly Christian had witnessed the whole thing, and was too distraught to remember it. He was forced to move in with his uncle, and ever since then Christian had been wanting to meet more and more at their secret place.
��������Hallie folded her arms across the stony ledge and lay her head restfully on her hands like the princess�s in all the Disney movies did, pretending it was a balcony to an endlessly tall tower. She quickly raised herself as she saw his dirty blonde head emerging out of a thicket of trees.
�Happy Birthday!� she called across the pond.
��������He forced a smile and slowly hopped across the stepping stones. Hallie�s face dropped when she noticed he was limping and having a hard time getting across. She rushed down the steps to help him but he was already across, collapsed on the ground.
���������What�s wrong?� she shrieked. The pain Hallie felt was nothing compared to the amount of suffering Christian must be going through, but losing his parents had even affected her, and she gained a type of paranoid protectiveness over her best friend. She placed a hand on his shoulder and he cringed tightly tucking his arm underneath his chest as if he was dodging something. He finally stood on his feet, hobbled over to the base of the little castle and leaned against it trying to catch his breath.
Hallie noticed that he had red curved marks around his neck along with bruises and scabs all across his arms. He was clutching his stomach in pain looking absolutely exhausted.
�What happened to you?� she asked horrified.
�Can you just stay with me for a while?� he pleaded barely looking at her.
Hallie nodded and sat down beside him. The thing about their relationship was that they could just sit together, enjoy each others company and feel better about no matter what they were going through, so instead of prying about what happened like an adult would, they sat in silence watching twilight creep into the sky. Side by side they sat together fearless of anything, even wild animals that might come out at night and devour them.
�Do you want your present now?� Hallie finally offered.
�Okay,� he agreed.
Hallie reached into her pocket and pulled out her messily wrapped gift clapping excitedly for his reaction. �Open it!� she exclaimed.
He delicately undid the wrapping paper and when the present was revealed his frown automatically transformed into a smile.
�When my parents took me on the cruise to Alaska I got you a snow globe with a wolf inside since you like them so much. Look!� she said pointing.
He looked and shook the snow globe as hard as he could watching the snow scatter everywhere, burying the little figure of a wolf howling on top of a cliff, like a lonely lost soul. He probably liked them so much because he felt the same way. He thoroughly wished it would snow right now, in the middle of August, and become so cold that the castle would be covered in ice, trapping him and Hallie in so they could stay there forever.
�Thank you Hallie, I�ll take good care of this.�
�You�re welcome,� she smiled.
�I almost forgot it was my birthday till you said something,� he realized.
�Didn�t your Uncle get you a birthday cake?� she asked confused.
�No. I don�t think I�m having anymore of that.�
For a now nine year old he was an intelligent little kid and could easily see the truth when Hallie couldn�t. All of the sudden he turned his face away and began sobbing heavily into his arm. Hallie tried to look at him but he kept turning his face in the opposite direction embarrassed by what he was doing. Hallie wished she was the one having the birthday so she could be old enough to know how to comfort him, but she tried the best way her eight year old self knew how.
�Come on,� she said taking his hand and pulling him to his feet. He wiped some tears away and let her lead him. She went up the little stairs to the very top of their castle allowing the cool breeze coming from the water to blow on them. The moonlight reflected off the damp tears soaked to his face and Hallie wiped them away with her fingertips.
���������Do you see those stars?� she asked pointing upwards. �You�re mommy and daddy are there watching over you. They want you to know Happy Birthday, and that they love you,� she tenderly explained.
�How do you know that?� Christian asked trying to keep from crying anymore.
�Because you can feel when someone loves you. You�re parents still love you even from up there. And I�,� her voice trailed off.
�You what?�
�I�m only eight, but I think I feel that too. I think that I love you Christian. No, I know that I love you. I love you Christian West,� she declared, and without thinking she grabbed his face with her little hands and kissed him right on the lips.
His eyes widened immensely and his jaw nearly hit the floor at what she just did. She thought he would probably run away but instead he gave a big grin like he�d been waiting for her to do that all along. �Wow,� he said touching his lips.
�I have to go, it�s dark and my parents are probably worried,� she said.
He sighed in sadness about having to go home. �I�ll walk you back to your house,� he said stalling for time.
�Alright.�
As they walked through the woods he gently took her hand, the nine year old way of claiming her as his. She squeezed it tightly not the least bit afraid of walking through the dark woods. They walked out of the park and up the hill to her house. When they finally got to the front gate of her enormous estate they both stood there for a moment as if they just returned from a romantic date.
�Thank you for making my birthday good,� he said shyly.
Without saying anything back she threw her arms around him hugging him as tight as she possibly could. She then dialed in the gate code and after it opened she walked the long pathway to her house, and finally disappeared inside.
On the walk home he thought about his first kiss with Hallie Harris, he wouldn�t have wanted it to be anyone else of course, and he couldn�t believe the way she just reached over and kissed him. As he got closer and closer to his house all of that became irrelevant, and he nervously cracked his knuckles. His birthday was over, and he knew his uncle was going to give him the beating of his life for coming home so late. He did that no matter what Christian did, but this time his uncle would legitimately be mad about something, and not just be in a drunken stupor. Christian didn�t know that later on in life the abuse he endured from his Uncle would later cause the end of the relationship with Hallie, the love of his life. He didn�t know at the time how emotionally screwed up he was going to be as a teen, as an adult, for as long as he lived.
��������All he knew was that even though he was going to endure pain and torture when he walked through the door, being with her and kissing her for the first time had been completely worth it.

Author's Note

Very rough draft, kind of babyish I think.

Reviews

[Mysteral - Night Prowle..]

Excellent addition to the story. I don't think it sounds babyish. If you put this as the first chapter, or a prologue, I would delete the last part about the affect the abuse will have on their friendship. I feel it would take something away from the way the existing story unfolds... just my own thoughts there. I don,t think it would be detrimental to the story if you left this chapter where it is now, as a flash-back.

[Tay Mo :)]

Wow.
Okay, i really like this! Thanks for entering it in my contest. (Little secret, this is DEFINITELY going to be chosen as a finalist! :] ssssh! DOn't tell.) I will be flipping through this...it seems really cool!
Great job...

[ape domenigoni]

I haven't read the rest of the story, but this part is very good and very sad. I like at the end how you kind of explain why he's going to end up the way he does. I will definitely be reading the rest of it...

[Catastrophe]

I could see the whole scene playing in my head, girl, you know how to write those stories....
its so damn sad, but in a beautiful kind of way..
*claps hands*
its talent baby, i see talent.

[Nazarea]

ohh..I like it...

[Tuff Stuff]

Babyish?
Not really!
This was really good.
ONE OF THE BEST!

[Maria C. Donado]

I cried. Yes, very pathetic I know. But I'm proud to say that I am an emotional wimp who cries at the littlest things. I thought this was quite WONDERFUL! Simply wonderful! An instant favorite!

[MorganLyn]

You're too hard on yourself! This was absolutely awesome!! Yes this would be a very strong first chapter, but I think Its good where it is because this is the answer to everyones questions, but if you put if first they won't get curious enough to wonder...because the reason they are the way they are will already be there.. you know? lol sry.
great write!

[Rita]

awwwww this is so cute

It's not babyish at all. It actually elaborates and explains the bond between these two.

Much enjoyed,

Rita

[bluessadmood]

that was so romantic,a love that starts from childhood,i have seen some and ended real nicely ,strange how childhood lingers long in our head ,changing all our experiences into nice memories to will make all our encounter as children seem so lovely,i think i have read some other chapter referring to his uncle and his wicked ways of abusing him as a child ,that was nice again,good work dear,moayad