Little Red and the Wolf

Hallie finally goes to her Halloween party to get wasted and forget about Christian. Little does she know she is going to have a run in with the wolf.

Little Red and the Wolf

 

 

Once the bouncer saw the group approaching, David and the girls were immediately escorted to the VIP section of LAX by the owner of the nightclub himself. Rich and beautiful was a good combination to get let in the door first. The VIP setting was much more intimate but the girls could go down to the dance floor and back as much as they pleased.

 

“ Happy Halloween what can I get for everyone?” a handsome male bartender immediately came to the group to greet them.

 

“ Cosmo’s for all these gorgeous ladies,” David asked the bartender knowing that he most likely wouldn’t even have to pay for it.

 

“ Aw your boyfriend is the best Hallie,” Kristen said admiringly

 

“ Actually, you guys can all get cosmos but I’ll get a long island iced tea,” Hallie commanded meaning business.

 

Everyone raised their eyebrows.

 

“ I’ve just had a lot of stress with midterms and all,” Hallie tried to explain.

 

Abby nodded knowingly.

 

“ Sure coming right up,” the bartender hurried away.

 

Three costumed guys from a large group at the next VIP table shamelessly stared at the girls. Julia turned up her nose at them secretly enjoying the flattery. Everyone began their normal routine of talking trash about the tacky girls on the dance floor while trying to see if any celebrities were coming. Hallie anxiously tapped her red platforms waiting for her drink.

 

“ My devil tail keeps riding up my a*s,” Julia announced and stood up to adjust her costume. All the girls giggled at her.

 

David was too busy sending text messages to his friends to come over so he wouldn’t be the only guy anymore. Not that he completely minded, but the girl talk was getting tiresome.

 

Even above the dance floor the music pounded loudly ensuring everyone a headache with or without drinking. The cosmos and long island iced tea finally arrived as did David’s friends Zach McCarthy and Ryan Kahn fully dressed as Batman and Robin.

 

“ You guys look like such queers,” David laughed at them uncontrollably.

 

Each girl stood up to give the guys a hug except for Hallie who barely looked up, gave a quick hello then snatched her drink as if it was a limited edition Coach purse. Before she started washing her troubles away with five different types of alcohol in one drink, she felt a tense sensation in her chest and noticed that her whole group had stopped talking and were looking down at something, or someone.

 

In fact most of the talking had subsided altogether throughout the whole club, and only the music could still be heard. From where Hallie was seated she couldn’t see a thing. Had some type of celebrity walked in?

 

“ What is everyone looking at?” Hallie asked eager to get back to her drink. But the girls and even the guys were too fixated to answer.

 

Kristen finally spoke, “ Damn is that….?”

 

“ Shhh!” Julia shoved Kristen’s shoulder.

 

All the girls turned around and looked at Hallie wide-eyed.

 

“ What!?” Hallie exclaimed then got up to peer over the railing to see what the hell was going on down there. All she saw was the glimpse of a muscular guy wearing a long black shirt jeans, and a mask. Hallie only really saw the top of his head before he walked out of view. She could tell he had to be hot by the way every girl and even some guys at the club level were just gawking at him.

 

“What are we looking at? The guy down there?” Hallie asked confused. She looked at David who was suspiciously eyeing Hallie’s friends.

 

“ Yeah just some guy, I think he’s on a soap opera or something,” Abby said quickly.

 

David’s eyes seared jealously through his Phantom of the Opera mask. Apparently he had seen more than Hallie did.

 

“ Oh…who cares? It’s not like he’s Mr. Darcy or something,” Hallie replied.

 

“ You are such a nerd for saying that!” Julia laughed at her.

 

Hallie was absolutely obsessed with Jane Austen novels, especially Pride and Prejudice, her friends constantly made fun of her for it. One of her favorite parts was when Mr. Darcy, the handsome protagonist in the novel, walked into one of the balls being held and everyone just stopped what they were doing to look at him. She thought that kind of stuff only happened in stories or movies, but apparently this soap opera guy, whoever he was had that affect too.

 

Hallie finally noticed how pissed off David looked. “ What’s wrong hun?” she asked.

 

“Nothing,” he shook his head “ I just thought I saw someone I hadn’t seen in a while but I don’t think it was him,” David said relieved.

 

“ Uh yeah….lets have our cosmos already! Cheers!” Abby lifted up her drink and nodded at everyone to join her.

 

“ Cheers! Happy Halloween!” They all clanked their drinks together and sipped on them except for Hallie who basically chugged hers.

 

“ Hallie is the only real women out of all of you,” Ryan proclaimed.

 

“ You’re the b***h that‘s dressed as Robin!” Julia retorted back.

 

Zach laughed heartily at the remark. Zach McCarthy was about as smart as a frozen waffle, but he was as big as a body builder and got away with his crappy grades in school being an all star baseball player at UCSB. The rumor was that he’d taken steroids back in high school, but no one knew for sure. Knowing that Abby and Hallie were off limits, Zach’s interest was in both Kristen and Julia, but that went nothing beyond attraction. He didn’t have that much in common with David except that they all got together with a bunch of other guys to play football on the weekends, and both threw great parties.

 

Ryan attended law school with David. They were both loaded and having that much in common made them automatic pals. Ryan was a stand up guy and saw Hallie as a little sister. A really hot little sister, but he was a good friend nonetheless and David trusted him to fend off all the guys that persistently hit on Hallie when he wasn’t around. Plus he had a thing for Abby which over the past year since he met her grew into much more than an attraction, but Abby hardly noticed.

 

Zach had both tree trunk arms around Kristen and Julia and kept trying to talk them into getting more drinks.

 

“ You look great,” Ryan smiled and flicked Abby’s lady bug antenna.

 

“ Thanks,” Abby blushed and turned away. Both were so shy that it seemed impossible they would ever get together.

 

“ You two should go dance!” Kristen yelled across to Abby.

 

“ Why don’t we all dance!” Abby said pulling Hallie’s arm causing her to almost spill her drink.

“ Lets go”, Julia said unsuccessfully trying to drag Zach out of the seat. Kristen and Julia begged him to go but he refused. “ Come on!”

 

“ I need beer,” Zach said caveman-like.

 

“ I’ll stay here and save our seats,” David said not getting up. He hated dancing, so did Ryan, but Ryan was desperately trying to get some and he wasn’t. “ Have fun,” David kissed Hallie’s hand and let her go.

 

Hallie slurped the last remains of her drink and followed everyone to the dance floor. She still felt the tenseness in her body and was hoping it would go away once the alcohol took affect.

The dance floor was filled with sweaty costumed bodies dancing all over each other to a DJ remix of a new Usher song.

 

Abby who was starting to loosen up from the Cosmo threw her arms around Ryan and began wiggling her a*s to the music.

 

Kristen and Julia danced all over each other grabbing the attention of every horny guy and the envious glare of every girl.

 

Hallie threw her arms above her head and danced by herself not really caring what she looked like, but she was the best dancer out of the group and she looked great. The mix of the music and strobe lights put her into a trance and she waved her head back and forth to the rhythm. She thought of her favorite equestrian horse Winnie that would wildly shake out it’s mane when it was allowed to run free across the field. That is how she felt too, free of Christian. Seeing him had just been a coincidence. She promised herself she would never go to Folsom again as long as she lived. She couldn’t help but admit to herself that it was a good feeling knowing he was still alive and well, because for the six years before that she had no idea.

 

The club walls were covered in mirrors and she looked up at herself. She wanted to she what she looked like as a free woman. Hallie suddenly felt dizzy and grabbed onto Abby for support. She thought she saw Christian’s face in the reflection of the mirror but it disappeared and she knew she must be imagining.

 

“ Are you alright Hal?” Abby asked letting go of Ryan to hold her friend up.

 

“Yeah I guess the drink is just hitting me,” Hallie hollered over the noise. “It’s so hot in here I’m just going to get some air.”

 

“ You want me to come with you?” Abby asked loyally.

 

“ No I’ll be right back,” Hallie said and stumbled off the dance floor looking for the side door. It probably wasn’t the smartest thing to go out into an alley by herself, but she needed to sit down for a moment and face the reality that Christian was still on her mind. The thing she hated the most was the fact that he’d been on her mind everyday since the day she met him.

.....

 

Christian was well known from his authority on the streets, and if he wanted to get into a Los Angeles club it was never a hassle, so when the bouncer told him he couldn’t go in without a costume he was a little surprised.

 

He stood in place then looked up at the Halloween decorations hung up above the door. Without having to stretch too far he reached up and ripped an old fashioned silver wolf mask that had been mounted onto a collage. He scraped the dried up glue off of it and put the mask over his face.

 

“ Here’s my costume. I’m going in now,” Christian told the bouncer who stood slightly shorter than Christian. The bouncer looked completely dumbfounded and didn’t say a word. Without waiting for a reply Christian walked inside. No one tried to stop him, he knew they wouldn’t.

 

The only time Christian really went to clubs was to meet up with drug dealers to do business, and though he’d been to LAX before he never had the chance to really look at the place. It wasn’t bad, a little glamorous compared to his usual dive bars, but it was filled with hot chicks just like he planned on.

 

As he stood at the entrance he noticed several girls at the bar were leaning back in their stools staring at something. He realized everyone was staring at something in his direction but he had no idea what. Christian was entirely oblivious that everyone was staring at him. Even though he knew he could get girls, the possibility never in a million years would enter his head that he was anything remotely special to look at. It had gotten much quieter and by the way every single person was looking, he thought it had to be at someone else.

 

“ Is that Cillian Murphy?” one girl dressed as poison ivy whispered

“ No he’s too buff to be Cillian Murphy,” someone else answered.

 

Even though the mask Christian wore covered the top of his face, his blue-green eyes glistened through it. His unique face was astonishing in combination with the wolf mask. Like an actual wolf he looked darkly beautiful, and also dangerous. Nobody on the planet could have had such an intriguing look to them, so everyone in the club wondered who on earth the mysterious stranger was, and what he was doing there by himself.

 

“ I think he‘s an Abercrombie and Fitch model,” another girl said.

 

He was too good looking to be just someone off the street, he had to have been a model, television star, musician or something, but no one could figure it out.

 

Guys were never the type to get envious of each other, but when they saw Christian and the way he attracted every girl, they felt what it was like to be jealous for the first time in their lives. And if they weren’t jealous they wanted to be just like him, or be his friend.

 

But Christian ignored all that, he always had a strong presence and was simply used to people stopping what they were doing when he walked in a room. He was on a mission, to have a quickie with that Little Red Riding Hood girl so he could clear his head for the drug deals later that night.

 

Funny out of all the girls staring at him he couldn’t find her. He saw several other girls dressed as Little Red Riding Hood but he knew they weren’t the ones he saw outside even though he had only seen the back of her. The one he wanted had a certain way about her, and he wanted to find it and explore more.

 

The people in the club had finally gone back to their dancing, drinking, and flirting, and Christian decided to walk around the club to find the girl.

 

“ I’m not wearing any underwear!” a girl dressed as a cheerleader practically fell onto him. She had obviously been drinking like crazy.

 

“ That’s nice,” Christian stood her up back on her feet hardly taking a second look at her.

As much as he just wanted to have sex and get out, it was no fun when there wasn’t even a little bit of a chase. He walked towards the bar and she wasn’t there either. Where the hell was she?

 

On the dance floor he could see a group of chicks all wearing red dancing together. He was pretty sure Little Red Riding Hood had been in that group too. It would make sense wouldn’t it? He didn’t see her anywhere but he could hardly see anything with all the smoke, strobe lights, and loads of people walking in front of him.

 

He thought of asking the group if there had been a girl dressed as Little Red Riding Hood with them, but he knew that would seem absolutely psychotic.

 

He felt stupid standing there looking for the girl, and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket to see that he had three missed calls that he didn’t hear because of the music. Two were from Derek, one from another drug dealer. They were probably ready to go and needed Christian to come back. They would never go on a drug deal without Christian.

 

He sighed and realized that screwing another girl, and getting rid of the stupid shock of seeing Hallie Harris would have to wait. Even if he settled with one of the drunken s***s out on the dance floor there probably still wasn’t enough time to get the deed done.

 

Christian said “f**k it,” in his mind, lit a cigarette and headed out. There was no point in being there anymore and work was more important than anything.

 

As he exited the door he decided he’d keep the mask. It was an awesome looking mask, like an antique, plus he loved wolves so at least he got something out of going there. He walked past the long line that still waited outside and made his way over to his motorcycle. Instead of putting on his helmet he kept the mask on enjoying his reflection in the motorcycle mirrors. He thought that he probably looked like an idiot, but he’d kill anyone who said so.

 

Christian loudly revved the engine and before he drove off he looked past the club into a small alley way on the side of the building and saw someone sitting alone on the stairs.

 

Being parked somewhat far away he had a hard time seeing who it was, but saw that they were sitting hugging their knees with their head down as if they were crying. Feeling curious and also worried Christian slowly rode up the street to get a better look.

 

He stopped ten feet away and saw from her long curls that it was the girl he was previously looking for, Little Red Riding Hood. So that’s where she was, in the damn alley. He couldn’t tell if she was crying or not, but she certainly looked upset, or maybe she was just drunk. He suddenly forgot all about going to meet Derek.

 

Christian slowly rode into the alley, the purr of the motorcycle made the girl look up, but her face was nearly covered with her red hood.

 

“ Are you lost little girl?” Christian drove a little ways past where she was sitting then rode back. He kept doing this, almost as if he was pacing, stalking his prey.

 

“ I am actually,” a feminine voice replied sadly.

 

Christian couldn’t tell if she was actually sad or just role playing.

 

“ What is your name,?” he asked taking a drag on his cigarette.

 

Hallie had no clue who this guy was, and didn’t even look up to see what he looked like, and as creepy as he was making himself out to be she wasn’t frightened at all. Maybe she should have been since there was a great possibility she could be raped. She figured if he tried anything she would take of her tall pointy red platforms and stab him. But the voice was deep and soothing and she didn‘t feel threatened at all.

 

She decided to f**k with him before shooting him down and telling him that she had a boyfriend. Hallie often did that to guys. It was so fun being a girl sometimes.

 

“Well I’m Little Red Riding Hood. Can’t you tell?” she answered.

 

Christian could only see the girls mouth since she was crouched down and the hood covered her eyes. He was turned on by the way her lips flirtatiously said the words.

 

 

“ Where were you trying to go before you got lost?” Christian asked enjoying the little game.

 

“ I don’t know where I was going. Maybe you could help me find my way?” Hallie got up and strutted in front of the motorcycle well-aware that the guy was probably checking out her a*s. She slightly turned her head over her shoulder to get a glimpse then quickly turned back around. She was surprised to see what he was dressed as.

 

“ What a coincidence, you’re the big bad wolf,” Hallie said trying not to act surprised. Had he planned this or something? What a stalker freak. Before she could say anything else, she looked from the corner of her eye at the guy sitting on his motorcycle. She realized he was the hot guy who walked in and everybody had been staring at.

 

 

As she kept walking Christian blew smoke out of his mouth and made small circles around her with his bike. Even though she had her face turned away he could see her sly smile.

 

Christian’s cell phone rang loudly but he ignored it. There was something between him and this girl that he couldn’t figure out. Besides feeling utterly attracted to her long white laced legs in those high shoes, and at the view of her cute barely covered a*s in the red and white short skirt, he felt something more. He felt a tenderness towards her, almost a worry for her and found himself wondering by the way she’d been sitting outside if she was okay rather than how she’d be in bed.

 

“ Ok seriously are you alright? You need a ride or anything? It’s pretty f*****g cold out here,” Christian said knowing that breaking their little role-play probably wasn‘t going to get him any now.

 

As if Hallie would take a ride from a strange guy she didn’t even know the name of. She couldn’t believe he had gone from horny to sweet within seconds, but the concern in his voice touched her heart a little bit. He probably had seen her sitting on the stairs like a crazy person and wondered what the hell her deal was.

 

“Yeah I just stepped outside real quick. Go enjoy the rest of the party I’m fine,” she said.

“ I‘m actually leaving. This is going to sound weird, but before I go can I see what you look like? You’ve been hiding under that hood the whole time,” Christian said still playfully circling around her with his motorcycle.

 

Hallie turned around her face still half under her hood. “Why do you care what I look like? Aren‘t you some soap star or something? I saw all those girls look at you when you walked in.”

 

“Soap star?“ Christian laughed. “ Hell no….I think they were looking at something else,”

 

Even from her VIP seat Hallie knew everyone had been looking at him. It was cute how clueless he was about it.

 

“I want to see what you look like. Just curious I guess,” Christian shrugged.

 

“Well alright, only if you take off that mask,” Hallie bargained. She figured he had been nice so why not give him the privilege of looking at her?

 

“ Alright on three,” Christian said.

 

They both counted at the same time, “ One, two, three!”

 

In unison Christian took off his mask and Hallie lifted up her hood.

 

Christian's cigarette fell out of his mouth once his jaw dropped seeing who it was.

 

They both stood in shock for quite a while.

 

Christian who was never really clumsy, toppled over on his motorcycle and almost hit the ground before he caught himself.

 

“Hallie?” he accused her.

 

Hallie stood there shaking her head in disbelief.

 

Christian got back up and was in a standing position over his motorcycle which was still running.

“ Oh my god,” Hallie choked out the words.

 

“It was you the whole f*****g time?” he yelled at her as if she knew who he was since the beginning.

“ I’m just as surprised as you are stupid!” Hallie screamed back.

 

“Jesus Christ…I f*****g watched you go in!” Christian waved his hand towards the club entrance. “I was going to go try and f**k you….to try and get my mind off of you!” he exclaimed knowing that probably made no sense to her, and regret disclosing all that information.

 

“ What do you mean you were going to try and f**k me? What are you f*****g talking about?” Hallie said tugging on her long hair in distress.

 

“ I saw you go in…well I didn’t know it was you,” Christian told her somewhat more calm. “I…was going to try and f**k you but then I saw you out here, and I didn’t know if you were okay. I had no idea it was you though…”

 

“ Oh my god,” Hallie repeated.

 

They both stood in awe at the situation.

 

“ You know what? This is just…a coincidence. A very…strange coincidence,” Hallie said frowning at her costume and then at his wolf mask.

 

“ Just like it was a coincidence that I saw you today? Where we almost…” Christian’s voice trailed off.

 

Hallie looked down at the ground. Hurt and confusion plagued her but the last thing she wanted to do was faint again. This was embarrassing enough as it was.

 

Instead of dizziness this time, emotion filled up within her and she couldn’t help but start to cry. Overwhelmed she sat herself back on the stairs and put her face into her hands and began sobbing heavily.

 

Christian saw her and realized why he had felt concerned for her before, because it was f*****g Hallie Harris. Even though he was pissed off, he couldn’t help but feel guilty upon seeing her cry. He really didn’t know why she was crying so much, he thought that maybe him being there was making it worse.

 

“Hallie, I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was you. I’ll go away alright? You never have to see me again.”

Hallie looked up and glared at him through her tears. She tried to talk but only shaky sob-like sounds escaped from her mouth. She was insanely cold and shivered violently.

 

Christian saw this and didn’t have the heart to leave. He took out his long black leather trench coat from a small compartment in his motorcycle and draped it around her. He sat with her as she cried, still in shock at what happened.

 

Finally after a few minutes he had to ask, “ Why are you so… emotional when you see me? I mean your dating David now,” Christian muttered. “ You must be happy with him, I always knew that you two would probably end up together.”

 

“ You don’t know s**t!” Hallie spat the words out.

 

“Alright, just calm down. Do you want me to leave?”

 

“Sure that’s what you like to do!” Hallie said still sobbing.

 

Christian couldn’t believe how hurt she still was after all these years, and he had no idea how to fix it.

 

“I’m sorry all of this happened, but what do you want me to say Hallie?”

 

“ I want you to tell me why you left. We were supposed to be married. Maybe that seems silly to you but it wasn’t to me Christian,” Hallie said clutching his leather trench coat around her.

 

“ I was afraid,” Christian admitted.

 

“Then why did you have me run away from my family? And buy a home with me, and tell me we were going to be married? After the first day we made love you just left with no explanation. I want to know what I did wrong?”

 

“ You didn’t do anything wrong. It was all me okay? I couldn’t….do it,” Christian said shaking his head remembering.

 

“ Couldn’t do what? Couldn‘t marry me? Couldn‘t live with me? Then you should have just told me!”

 

“No, I was never afraid of any of that. I loved you, and I wanted to finally have a family again. I’m telling you, it wasn’t your fault it was mine Hallie.” he said reaching his fingers to her face to dry her tears.

 

She smacked his hand away. “ No that’s not a good explanation, you need to tell me why so I can finally have closure.”

 

Christian closed his eyes as he tried to put the real answer into words.

 

“It was the sex, it scared the s**t out of me,” he said.

 

“ What?” Hallie said almost laughing in hysteria at the answer. “Oh so because it was my first time and I wasn’t that great in bed? That’s why you left?”

 

“No, it was incredible, but I’d never done that before.”

 

“Yes you did! You were screwing girls since you were ten, I know you were,” Hallie argued.

 

“Yeah I had fucked before, but I never…made love like that. And I haven’t since,” Christian explained still closing his eyes. Something seemed to be paining him deeply but he wasn’t coming out with it.

 

“Forget it,” he shook his head. “ You wouldn’t understand,” he said standing up. He walked towards his motorcycle planning to take off.

 

“What wouldn’t I understand?” Hallie said grabbing onto his arm. She wasn’t going to let him just leave without an explanation, she needed to know.

 

Christian bit down on his lower lip and let out a heavy sigh. He figured he owed an explanation to her after all these years, so he mustered up the courage and looked at her straight in eye.

 

“Why do you think I always wanted to spend the night at your house when we were kids?” he quickly asked her.

 

“Because your uncle would hit you,” Hallie stated.

 

Christian’s hands began shaking. “That wasn’t just it Hallie. I would have rather had him kick my a*s everyday instead of doing the s**t he did to me,” his voice trembled. He kept biting down on his lip to keep from crying. He promised himself a long time ago that he’d never cry over this.

 

“What do you mean?” Hallie asked horrified knowing what he might say.

 

“He raped me,” he said the words in disgust. He took a deep breath and tried to calm his rapid heartbeat.

 

Hallie was so surprised she couldn’t say a word.

 

“He started when I was seven, almost right when I had to go live with him. And he didn’t stop until I was sixteen, until that same day I moved out with you,” Christian went on starting to feel ill.

 

“Oh Christian, I didn’t know,” Hallie whispered. She felt so stupid that she never knew. With the constant black eyes and bruises all over him she thought he snuck into her room at night because his uncle hurt him, but it turned out he was hurting him in other ways too.

 

“ When we made love, I never knew sex was supposed to be like that. I didn’t know how to handle it. I know it was selfish that I left, but you have to understand, I was fucked up Hallie,” Christian explained.

 

Hallie felt so angry at his uncle, and she hoped he was dead somewhere. As hurt as she still was she understood where he was coming from. Hallie nodded in understanding.

 

“Thank you for telling me. I’m sorry I wish had known so I could have helped you more,” Hallie said.

“You helped me more than you can ever know. You helped me get through a lot of s**t,” Christian said.

 

Admitting the secret that he kept buried for so many years hadn’t been as bad as he thought. He thought Hallie would be repulsed by the information, but she didn’t look grossed out, just sad for him.

 

Christian heard his cell phone loudly ring, and noticed it had been ringing incessantly for quite a while. So much time must have passed by, Derek must have been freaking out.

 

“Well Little Red you think you can find your way now?” Christian smirked.

 

Hallie thought he was so brave to admit the things about his uncle, and it was difficult to be mad at him.

 

“Yeah,” Hallie had finally stopped crying and smiled.

 

“I better go,” he said climbing onto his motorcycle.

 

“Well it was nice running into you again,” Hallie said sarcastically.

 

“It wasn’t so bad was it?” Christian laughed.

 

Hallie shook her head. She couldn’t help wonder who was calling him so much, a girlfriend maybe?

 

She looked at the little boy she had known since she was two years old. He probably thought he looked tough on his motorcycle, with his muscular tattooed arms, but to her he still had an innocence to him that no one could ever take away.

 

“Goodbye Christian.”

 

“Take care Hallie Harris.” he revved his engine and sped out of the alley onto the street.

Hallie watched him disappear into the night.

 

David and everyone else must have been wondering why she was outside so long. She still couldn’t believe what happened but she decided she’d better go in.

 

Right before Hallie reached up to open the side door and go back into the club, she realized she was still draped into Christian’s jacket. Just when she thought she’d gotten rid of him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

It's pretty freaking girly but I'm proud of it. You can tell me if it's cheesy or if you see any corrections that should be made.

Reviews

[Mysteral - Night Prowle..]

I wondered what had happened to the Trench coat.
I think the storyline is getting stronger as it goes on; perhaps it is a little bit "soap opera" but so what... It's fun to read. Notice a couple of misspells, but nothing major;

>Guys were never the type to get envious of each other...

LOL How little you know...

Anyway, well written, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter;

[silver threaded queen]

I love, love, loved this!!!!!

[Initium]

Um, I am going to keep this in my contest, but are you entering Hallie, exactly, because, if you are, then I REALLY need to know because...
Just because.
XD

[bluessadmood]

again this is a nice writing,now the poor girl was at amends with herself,by knowing her friend had gone away,since his terrible past with his monstrous uncle,i wonder where all this is going to lead,this is a great writing really,you have done a good job here again

[MorganLyn]

not cheesy at all!!...I was so lost in the story that my eyes couldn't focus on the actual layout of the words or the grammar. Awesome job... all of your writing is spectacular! :)